Mullocks Return

[kjjcarpenter]

Chapter 5: 2nd Phase of The Plan

Two sligs are in Bunker room 041 reading a book and laughing out load but little did they know Molluck was right outside.
“…I think I actually like this slig” said one of the sligs laughing. “I’m giving him a name, Fred!”
Both sligs bursted out in laughter just as Molluck outside said to slig 40926 “Break down the door!’
Slig 40926 put a bullet through the lock and pushed the door off its hinges as the sligs inside immediately stopped laughing. One of them was holding a book and a label said “Property of Molluck. Hands Off!”
“MY DIARY!” yelled Molluck.
“Oh hell no!” said one of the sligs.
“Kill them 40926!” yelled Molluck.
“Yes boss” answered slig 40926.
40926 killed both sligs with 2 bullets and grabbed Mollucks diary and said “Here boss.”
“You hold it please,” said Molluck.
“Yes sir,” said slig 40926.
Both of them walk out of the room while Molluck says, “40926, I’m giving you an upgrade.”
“What sir?” asked slig 40926.
“You now officially have a name, Fred,” said Molluck.
“Thank you sir” said Fred.
“You know what time it is now Fred?” said Molluck with a grin on his face.
“What sir?” asked Fred.
“Operation Slignap Skillya” said Molluck.
Not long later Molluck and Fred were heading south on a train to Silkia’s home. It only took 15 minutes to get there. They stopped the train and went straight to Skillya.
“Hello Skillya” said Molluck.
“Hello Molluck” said Skillya. “I heard what happened to Maggie, I can’t believe your mothers dead. I watched you grow up Molluck.”
“I’m trying to find who killed her Skillya” said Molluck. “And when I do I will slaughter them.”
Fred was confused so he said “But sir y”
“Shut up!” said Molluck silently. “So I was thinking if someone killed her, they might kill you, and I need some more sligs and I have Sam so we could trade. And I’m not risking taking them out of Rupture Farms so come with me.”
“Ok Molluck” said Skillya.
Molluck had a grin on his face and took a big puff of his cigarette. All 3 of them went to the train and left for Rupture Farms.
Fred was mumbling something to himself “I cant do this, Mollucks been so good to me how can I?”
“Cant do what Fred?” asked Molluck.
“Oh- um just a promise to a friend Molluck” said Fred.
Molluck looked at him and said, “Whatever you say. And have you found my plan book and found out about those sligs?”
“I’ve been asking around and knows anything” said Fred.
“Just keep looking Ok.” Said Molluck.
Suddenly from behind a crate a slog was just finishing a carcass and it saw Skillya and jumped her.
“HELP! HELP!” Yelled Skillya.
“I can’t have her dead!” Yelled Molluck. “Kill the slog!”
Fred shot the slog in the leg but it didn’t die and headed for Molluck.
“BANG”
Fred shot it in the head and it fell to the ground as blood came out of the hole the bullet made.
“SKILLYA!” Yelled Molluck.
Skillya was lying there with no arm.
“Don’t worry I will be fine.” Said Skillya.
Over in the corner there was a carcass of a Gluckon.
“Who fed the slog a Gluckon?” asked Molluck.
No one answered as the train pulled into Rupture Farms station.

Chapter 6: Disappearing Steef Coming Soon…

[Dancing Steef]

a really GOOD story! I wanna read more!

[odd chick]

There are only a couple of minor things I could point out and those are: 1. The Slig queen's name is 'Skillya', not 'Silkia'. 2. This one is pretty much like your chapter about Maggie getting killed: WHY does Molluck want to kidnap Skillya?
Other than that, the chapter was good-see, I knew you could do it! You're getting better and better at this. Keep the story going!

[kjjcarpenter]

Thanks for pointing out the name Odd Chick.
The answer to your question is Molluck needs lots of sligs but doesnt want to pay for them so he has tricked Skillya into coming into Rupture Farms and is just going to give her a mud for a slig.
Hope that answers your question.

[odd chick]

Ok, thanks for explaining that. That's a great concept for Skillya's capture, now if you'll just put it in your story.

[kjjcarpenter]

I will in the next chapter!

[odd chick]

Ok. I can't wait to read it!

[mudling]

i like this story! you've got alot better, and it is quite big, the only problem is that you could of added a few more discriptive words, i'm probably being a hypocrit though, anyway, it was good! please continue!

[kjjcarpenter]

Thanks guys.

Chapter 6: Disappearing Steef

Molluck’s train pulls slowly into Rupture Farms depot as the three hop out of the train.
“May I show you to your room Skillya?” asked Molluck.
“No” said Skillya. “What the room number and how do I get there?”
“Well” said Molluck. “There is no number. I thought it would be safer at the very bottom of Rupture Farms. Just take the elevator to the very bottom and follow the hallway to the very end and you will find your room.”
“OK” said Skillya walking to the elevator.
“Sir may I ask why we have Skillya?” asked Fred.
“The answer to that is I need sligs but to hell if I am paying for them so I took her and I will just give her a Modokon egg” said Molluck.
“OK sir” said Fred.
“I think its time to take that Steef out of the Water Chamber” said Molluck.
“Yes sir” said Fred.

About half an hour later Molluck was asleep on his chair with his hands on a table.
“Modokon Pops” gurgled Molluck. “Abe sticks” GURGLE.
Suddenly Fred comes running in like a panther.
“SIR!” yelled Fred.
Molluck still asleep gets up and says, “I didn’t take your ice-cream!” before falling on the floor.
Fred looked dumbly at Molluck wondering what he meant and said “Sir”.
“Fred!” said Molluck jumping up and looking so embarrassed.
“I have some bad news,” said Fred.
“WHAT!” asked molluck.
“The Steef escaped,” said Fred scared of what would happen to him.
Molluck looking so angry let out the loudest scream that could be heard all over the factory. Everyone stopped and wondered what happened.

Not far out in the Stockyards Stranger was quickly running and heard a montrous scream that echoed across the valley.
“I better run” said Stranger knowing that Molluck knew of his escape.
Stranger knowing there was only one place to go looked at the sun rising and figured out which way was north and headed in that direction as fast as he could to get back to Abe.

Back at the factory Molluck knew he couldn’t catch the Steef so he decided to give the factory a message.
“Is the camera on?” asked Molluck.
“Yes sir go ahead,” said Fred.
The film started and all posters switched to the video Fred was taking.
“Yes hello it’s me an- GET THIS SLOG OFF MY FOOT!” yelled Molluck.
Fred got the slog away and put it in the hallway.
“Anyway I would like to say anyone who makes faulty equipment here will be instantly killed got that!” said Molluck.

Meanwhile some sligs who heard the message are talking.
“Think we should tell the boss?” asked a slig.
“Not yet we still need more info on Molluck,” answered the slig.

Chapter 7: Gotta pay your taxes!

[odd chick]

Yay! Stranger's alive! Well,to be honest, that chapter wasn't as good as your last one, but it wasn't a bad one, nonetheless. It was ok, but you still need to bring out the characters' personalities more. For example, you could add a bit to the story to set the mood of the environments and the characters' thoughts and feelings. Where you put: "Not far out in the Stockyards Stranger was running and heard the scream that echoed across the valley.", you could add flavor to it, so to speak, by writing something like: "As Stranger was quickly making his way through the Stockyards, he heard Molluck's furious scream echo across the valley. Stranger knew that Molluck had found out about his escape, and he was very frightened at the thought of Molluck catching him before he could get away. Trying to ease his mind, Stranger focused less on his fears and more on his mission: to escape Rupturefarms." If you could just bring more of you chapters out like this, then the story will be even better. Not a bad chapter, but it could use some improvements.

[Dancing Steef]

i agree with odd chick. it's not a bad story, but it jus' needs some more descriptions of the characters otherless they're GOOD!

[kjjcarpenter]

Chapter 7: Gotta Pay Your Taxes!

It was about midday at Rupture Farms (Though you couldn’t tell because of all of the pollution) when a train with a sign on the side that said “THE TAX MOBILE” pulled into Rupture Farms depot. 2 sligs were at the station.
“Is that what I think it is?” asked one of them.
“I think it is” said the other slig.
The first slig knew they only leave there home to go to places that haven’t paid their taxes so he said, “Mollucks doomed” in a soft voice.
A Chronicler stepped out of the train and the 2 sligs had never seen one before looked in amazement.
“Are they related to the Vykkers?” asked one of the sligs.
“Looks like,” answered the other slig. “He’s just as ugly”.
The both let out a little as the Chronicler walked up to them.
The Chronicler then asked in a deep voice “Were might Mollucks office be?”
“Take the elevator to the very top” said one of the sligs. “Takes you straight to his office.”
“Thank you” said the Chronicler while walking to the elevator.

Meanwhile in Mollucks office, Molluck and Fred were analyzing a new breed of Mudokon on the status bored.
“I’m telling you it can’t be a Mudokon” said Fred.
“It may be Red and Yellow and have 2 pony tales” said Molluck. “But it looks li.”
The elevator stopping interrupted Molluck and he didn’t like being interrupted in a meeting.
“Kill who ever that is” demanded Molluck.
“Your already in another trouble” said the Chronicler. “So I wouldn’t do that if I were you!”
Molluck wasn’t sure if he heard it or not so he turned around slowly and said, “What are you doing here?”
The Chronicler said “You haven’t paid your taxes in over a year and I’m afraid I am going to close this dump down, or you can give me the Moolah you owe.”
Molluck wasn’t sure if he was hearing this and in his head he was saying “Why is that idiot risking his life just to get Moolah, I can kill him that easily”.
“What will it be Molluck?” asked the Chronicler. “Your Moolah or your facility”.
Molluck began to let out a soft laugh before it became bigger and eventually Fred joined in.
“Why are you laughing?” asked the Chronicler.
“Have you any idea on how many things I have killed because they owed me money?” asked Molluck. “Thousands. Even my own kind. I kill people who look at me for to long. I kill them for pleasure and especially when they interrupted me. So you would already be dead 4 times by now. Because I hate, you have looked at me for to long, you interrupted me and most importantly” Molluck then paused and then looked at the Chronicler eye to eye. “You asked me for Moolah”.
“You wait Molluck,” said the Chronicler. “The first thing I do when I get back to the Tax station I am shutting down this plant, then I am going to tell Jake every thing and you will be sentenced the death penalty. And I will be rich and powerful”
The Chronicler began to leave before he heard Molluck say something.
“Trying to scare me?” said Molluck. “Well I got news for you, you’re not leaving this factory” Molluck then paused and put a smile on his face. “ALIVE!”
“You wouldn’t dare,” said the Chronicler in a scared voice.
“No?” said Molluck sarcastically.
Molluck then whispered something to Fred that the Chronicler couldn’t understand.
“I certainly don’t think your going anywhere now” Said Molluck.
Fred then went to a voice box and said “Unhook the Chroniclers train of the rails and let it fall to the bottom of the marsh”.
“As you see” said Molluck with a smile. “Rupture Farms was Glukbuilt on a swamp, and below the train station is some of the marsh were your train will be engulfed like many before so there is no evidence!”
There was then a load crashing noise as the Chroniclers train fell into the marsh.
“And now to get rid of you!” said Molluck in a deep voice.
“No” said the Chronicler. “I give you a month free tax. Um-ah, year, Uh!”
“I don’t care about some stupid taxes!” said Molluck. “I care about not getting any Khanmuzers on my back!”
What’s that, wondered Fred.
“Fine, I won’t tell!” yelled the Chronicler slowly backing into the corner.
“You don’t know how many times I’ve herd that!” said Molluck. “FIRE!”
The Chronicler then let out a screeching scream as bullets went through him. At the side of the room the door opened and a slig walked in.
“Got the Daily Deception boss,” said the slig looking at Molluck then seeing what’s on the floor. “Oh-um, I’ll come back later”

Chapter 8: A home in the hills……Coming Soon!

[Dancing Steef]

this chapter was the best-written so far, keep up the good work!

[kjjcarpenter]

Thanks mate

[odd chick]

Yeah, I've gotta agree with Dancing Steef on that-this one, by far, was your best one yet, chirpy! You brought out Molluck's personality very well in that chapter! You made me hate him, and that, in my opinion, is what makes a good story-it makes the reader either love, like, hate, or become annoyed with a character! You've gotten even better on this story since I've last read it-keep it going!

[kjjcarpenter]

(If you like the end go to red vs blue)

Chapter 8: A Home In The Hills

At Mollucks office Molluck was talking to Fred about a Mudokon Fortress north of Rupture Farms.
“I want you to destroy it,” said Molluck.
“HOW?!?” asked Fred.
“I don’t know!” yelled Molluck. “Blow it up! See if I care HOW you destroy it!”
“Ok sir” said Fred in a scared voice.
He knew Molluck was in a bad mood, especially when he didn’t get one wink of sleep. He was up all night discussing about the new breed of Mudokon with Fred.

At the same time not far from the Mudokon Fortress Stranger was had just finished running through an old Slog Hut.
“There it is” said Stranger.
Stranger was so happy he had made it back.
“ABE!” he yelled.
Abe knew it was Stranger so he got up and ran through the open door to see Stranger.
“Stranger, AHH” Abe said noticing Strangers arm. “Your arm! Its wounded!”
“Its nothing really” said Stranger trying to pretend it didn’t heart him.
“Come on I will fix you up,” said Abe.
Both of them walked into the Fortress.
“Is place safe Abe?” asked Stranger wondering what would happen if Molluck tried returning.
“Of course it is” said Abe confidently. “Sit here.”
“Thanks Abe” said Stranger. “I’m a bit thirsty.”
“Want some of Alf’s tea?” asked Abe.
“Ok,” answered Stranger.
Stranger then heard a bouncing sound to his left.
“Hello” said Munch looking at Stranger. “I’m Munch.”
”I’m Stranger,” he said. “You’re a Gabbit aren’t you?”
“That’s me,” said Munch looking proud.
Stranger nodded his head while Munch carried on talking but Stranger couldn’t care less. Or he was thinking about was getting even with Molluck.
“Here is you tea Stranger,” said Abe handing Stranger the tea.
Stranger didn’t like the look of it but didn’t want to upset Abe by not drinking it.
So he said (not meaning it) “looks nice” he said with a little laugh.
Stranger took a sip of the tea and then had the weirdest look on his face. He knew he had to drink it so he swallowed it thinking of something else.
Suddenly a train was coming to then train stop at the Slog Hut.
“Sligs!” said Abe. “Munch we gotta get the natives ready.”
“Yeah!” said Munch excitably.
“Let me help!” said Stranger.
“What king of weapon do ya want?” asked a native.
“Can I have a Crossbow?” asked Stranger.
“Coming at ya” said the native throwing the Crossbow into Strangers hands.
“What about your wound?” asked Munch.
“I’ve had worse” said Stranger laughing.

Down in the Slog Hut Fred was conducting the army of sligs and slogs.
“Alright here is the plan,” said Fred. “We run into the Fortress in a single file line screaming at the top of our lungs. The Mudokons will be so confused by the time they have a chance to regroup, we’ll already be inside!”
A slig was so confused he had to say something “But sir their not gonna get confused, their just gonna start mowing us down!”
Fred let out a little laugh and said, “That’s the whole idea of the single file line! They can only kill the person in front starting with that guy in the front and me in the back.”
“But sir” said another slig. “Shouldn’t 40987 be in the back seems though he is the one carrying the bomb?”
”Nonsense!” said Fred. “We need someone behind 40987 to direct orders and to know if 40987 is dead so he can tell everyone else we are doomed!”
“Can I hear another plan sir?” asked a slig.
“Ok” said Fred. “Using parts of the train we shall form together a can, and we shall call it, THE SLIG CAN! With the Slig Can we shall make a slig-sized hole in the outer wall. The Mudokons will be so mad they will surrender!”
The slig that asked for another plan said real quickly “I’ll vote the other plan!”
All the sligs and slogs formed a single file line and a slig said to Fred “I really want to thank you for not putting me in the front sir”
Fred shook his head laughing and said “Listen 50987, by the time your already dead we will have already used your corpse to jamb up the windmill.”
50987 didn’t feel very happy by that remark and was afraid.
“Everyone ready?” asked Fred. And without listening said, “CHARGE!”

Chapter 9: Yellow vs. Green (Sligs vs. Mudokons)

[odd chick]

That chapter was interesting-I liked the part where Stranger drank the tea-his reaction was priceless! The only thing I could say is that I noticed a few TINY, little grammar mistakes, but they were hardly noticable this time. Other than that, this chapter was good-keep it going.

[kjjcarpenter]

Chapter 9: Yellow vs. Green (Sligs vs. Mudokons)

At the Mudokon Fortress a single file line of about 400 dead sligs and slogs lie down. Fred is talking to one of the ten survivors.
“Well that didn’t go down as I planned,” said Fred laughing.
“Well what do we do now,” asked a slig.
“I know,” said Fred confidently. “We shall make the ultimate weapon with various parts of the train.”
“NOT THE SLIG CAN!” yelled a slig.
“Ok, ok,” said Fred. “Just fire at will.”
At that moment all the sligs were firing their machine guns at the Mudokons were firing at the sligs.
“You, DOC!” said Fred.
“I’m not Doc,” said a slig. “I’m 50967.”
“You’re a medic so I’m calling you DOC!” said Fred.
“Ok what do you want me to do?” asked Doc.
“I want you to run over there to help that slig,” said Fred.
“But he is not heart” said Doc.
Fred was looking at him as if to say DO IT while saying in his head “Just do it, I only need you as a distraction.”
“Sir?” asked Doc.
Fred aimed his gun at a slig in the distance and fired.
“He is heart now,” said Fred.
“OW MY FINGER,” yelled the slig.
Doc went over to him but by the time he got over there the slig didn’t feel any pain.
“Can I do anything for you?” asked Doc.
“Well there is one thing,” said the slig.
“What?” asked Doc.
“Well sometimes at midnight I wake up screaming for I always dream about Abe and Skillya having sex on the beach and I get very disturbed” said the slig.
“Right” said Doc with a weird look on his face.
Meanwhile the battle raged on until Fred asked a slig something.
“Hand me some ammo,” said Fred to a slig.
“I’m out,” he said.
Fred looked at all the other sligs but they shook there heads but one said.
“I got one bullet left.”
“I got a perfect way to use that bullet,” said Fred with a smile on his face.
“But sir,” said a slig. “When they find out that were out of ammo, their going to kill us!”
“Shhh!” said Fred. “There’s no possible way they can know were out of ammo.”

Up at the Fortress the Mudokons and Stranger were talking.
“Yep” said Stranger. “There defiantly out of ammo.”

Down were the sligs were Fred steps out and begins to speak.
“Ok Mudokons, were giving you a chance to surrender. We want your flag.”
“No Fred,” said a slig. “Last time we thought them and got their flag they put a bomb on it!”
“Ok then,” said Fred. “We want your flag and some cake. No, just the cake. And make it chocolate.”
“What do we get?” asked Abe.
“What do you mean what do you get?” asked Fred confused.
“We want something out of this deal to” said Abe.
“Hey” said Fred. “You’re the ones surrendering. All you get is shame and humiliation.”
“But we already have that” said Abe.

After 2 hours of arguing they finally come to an agreement.
“Ok” said Fred. “We’ll send over the medic, if you admit that the Mudokons suck and give us our cake.”
“Ok” said Abe. “Do it Alf.”
“Alright,” said Alf. “I want to say that the Mudokons suck, and I’m really a girl, and I want to kiss all the guys.”
“Ok” said Fred. “Were sending over medic.”
The sligs send over the medic, get their chocolate cake and leave for Rupture Farms.
“Fred was there any point in that?” asked a slig. “What are you going to tell Molluck?”
“I don’t know” said Fred. “At least we got cake.”

Chapter X: Mullock’s Fury….coming soon!

[Dancing Steef]

wow this story rox! maybe the grammar needs ta be more correct, but otherless yer story's good... i liked the part in the end of the story '

(The sligs send over the medic, get their chocolate cake and leave for Rupture Farms.
“Fred was there any point in that?” asked a slig. “What are you going to tell Molluck?”
“I don’t know” said Fred. “At least we got cake.” )

i found that really funny! keep going with the story!

[odd chick]

Umm...that chapter was a bit disturbing....but in a funny way! Overall it was good, but there is a teensy problem with this:
“Well sometimes at midnight I wake up screaming for I always dream about Abe and Skillya having sex on the beach and I get very disturbed”
Abe doesn't exactly have sexual organs, so I don't think he can....urm....yeah. :/ Anyway, keep the story going.

[kjjcarpenter]

He just has a dream and anything can happen in a dream.
ps. I got it from Red vs. Blue

[odd chick]

Yeah, true....it was a disturbing dream, though- I know that much is true! Anyway, keep the story going!

[kjjcarpenter]

(Name changed during development)

Chapter X: Gotta Pay For Your Crimes!

Deep inside Rupture Farms, inside the darkest hallway, within the biggest room there is a loud scream that was echoing across Rupture Farms and the Stockyards.
“YOUR TELLING ME, YOU TRADED MY ONLY MEDIC FOR CHOCOLATE CAKE?!?!?” screamed Molluck.
“Yes sir,” said Fred.
“Well I am furious! Fred I should have your HEAD!”
“But sir, let me explain.”
Molluck looked at him as if to say what, “Explain what? You stuffed up yeah, to bad I already knew THAT!”
“Go ahead.” Said Molluck “Explain, everything.”
“Sir,” said Fred. “I used your exact plans. I had the bomb at the second back of the single file line and charged at the base. At that point the Mudokons basically killed us all. Then I had them surrender, but they wanted something so I gave them our medic and we got the cake.”
Molluck’s cigarette fell out of his mouth and onto the floor while Molluck was basically paralyzed.
“WHAT?” Screamed Molluck. “You are kidding me! Single file line. I never said that! I said put the bomb in their Fortress get out ALIVE, then come back with a photo of it blowing up!”
“Oh,” said Fred. “Sorry, I must have got it off the computer.”
“Sorry? I must have got it off the computer? That is it. No computer for a year.”
“But sir”
“Extra work hours, No T.V for a month, and 5 days in Rupture Farms Mining Company that’s in the East of the Stockyards.”
“Yes sir. What about my platoon?”
Molluck just looked at him in a serious way, Fred knew what to do.
“You want them dead, don’t you?” said Fred.
Molluck nodded and said “See you in 5 days Fred.”
Fred left the room and actually saw a smile on Molluck’s face as if to say “You are the stupidest slig, EVER” in a silly way.
“Wait!” said Molluck. “Have you got any closer to finding my plan book?”
“Five days Molluck,” said Fred laughing. “Once I pay for my crimes I will tell you everything. I have a terrible secret that me and the sligs have. You must know, in Five days.”
Molluck knew he was trying to get off mining so he said, “Just go, and in Five days you will tell me everything!”
Fred left the room and ran to the mines.
Molluck turned on the fone and asked the slig “Hey Arty, can you log on to my security forces for me?”
“Yes sir,” said Arty pressing buttons.
“Thanks.”
Molluck was logged on to the security forces.
“Hey Arseholes. I want you to kill all the sligs that came back from Operation: Mudokon Kaboom.”
All the sligs left the room and went to Recovery.
“Arny?”
“Right here.”
“You can log off now.”
“Yes, sir.”
Molluck than went to his bed and rested.
“Five days. What can I do for five days?”
Molluck than went into a deep sleep unaware a train with the word KHANMUZERS on it was pulling into his station.

Chapter 11: Mining Accident…Coming soon

[odd chick]

He he, that chapter made me chuckle a bit! Fred is so stupid that it's funny! Well, keep your story going.

[kjjcarpenter]

Chapter 11: Mining Accident

At Rupture Farms station a Khanmuzer was stepping out of his train.
“So this is Rupture Farms,” said the Khanmuzer.
“Yes,” said a slig. “The largest Factory on Odd”
The Khanmuzer stabbed his hand right through the sligs head and noticed sligs were charging for him.
“GET HIM!” yelled a slig.
The Khanmuzer however killed them all within 20 seconds.
“Child’s Play,” said the Khanmuzer.
The Khanmuzer head to the Stockyards.

Out in Rupture Farms Mining Company Fred had just started working.
“What are you in here for?” asked a slig.
Fred said nothing and continued mining.
“FINE!” yelled the slig. “BE THAT WAY!”
“I stuffed up,” said Fred like his voice had no feeling.
“Really?” asked the slig. “How long you here for?”
“5 days.”
“F@#$! I’m in for life!”
“What did you do?”
“Stoll a gun and killed a Scrab.”
The slig then walked away and said “See ya later.”
Fred continued mining unaware of the Khanmuzer who was just about finish drilling a hole above him.
Fred heard it and said “What the hell.”
The Khanmuzer finished drilling and jumped out of the hole.
“A KHANMUZER!” yelled Fred.
“Your worst nightmare,” said the Khanmuzer.
He then through a batch of about 10 dynamites next to the boiler (were Fred was working). Then he picked up Fred and climbed up the hole.

Back at the entrance 2 sligs were talking.
“So what ya doing tonight?” asked one of them.
Before the other could speak the explosion happened and the 2 sligs were fried, along with every other slig inside the Mines.
Only 1 slig survived and said, “I’ve got to tell Molluck.”
He got up and staggered towards Rupture Farms.

Inside Molluck’s office, about half an hour later, Molluck was asleep on the floor with his legs on the bed.
The slig who survived ran in and said, “Molluck!”
“Chocolate.” Molluck was talking in his sleep. “Milkshake, Fred.”
The slig walked over to him and poked him with a stick. Molluck woke up.
“THIS HAD BETTER BE IMPORTANT!” yelled Molluck.
“It is sir,” said the slig. “There has been a mining accident.
“What?”
“There has been a”
“I heard what you said! But…Are there any survivors?”
”Only me.”
At that point for the first time in Mollucks life he began to cry. Tears dropped down to the floor while he lay back on the bed.
“FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!” cried Molluck.

Chapter 12: Marching Mudokos’s, Freedom Fuzzles and Gasping Gabbits…Coming soon!

[Dancing Steef]

great chapter... keep goin i wanna read more!

[odd chick]

That chapter was good, chirpy-I liked the whole idea and the layout of it was good as well. The only thing I can tell you is to bring the mood of the story out a bit more-be more discriptive with the characters and setting (You could've described what the mine looked and felt like, and other things. ). Other than that, it was a very good chapter.