Infected

Fleech Food · #1 07-14-2003, 06:40 PM

I have made myself a deal: if I sucessfully keep up a story, I can have a big bag of cooookies

So, here goes..

Kil'nek, a beautiful rolling countryside at the bottom of Mudos. The moon's rays spread across the vast meadow, enhancing the serene surroundings. The stunning countryside came to a screeching halt at the barbed wire fence and ran in the other direction. A tall slaughter house loomed over the lakes and trees, almost mockingly. Screams of pain and the sound of mechanical drills overtook the bird songs, piercing the hearts of any native mudokon that went near it. Little did the Fir Ud tribe know that this would be their, and their sacred creature's, fate..

More soon.

Fleech Food · #2 07-15-2003, 03:30 PM

Here goes.
Fey paced around the fire, wringing his hands. Something was wrong.
"What's wrong?" Ti asked, stroking his long, black feathers, "You've been silent all day." Fey shook his head and continued to pace. Ti stared at him and started to flex his muscles.
"Tch, you're so vain." Said a voice.
"What the -?" Ti was cut short as a pair of hands muffled his mouth. The hands dragged him away.
"Ti?" Fey muttered, twisting around, "Ti? Ti, where are you? Come on, this isn't funny!" The only thing the greeted Fey's voice was the flickering flames. This was only the beginning...

More soon

Al the Vykker · #3 07-15-2003, 03:57 PM

I really like your style of writing. You make the chapters(or parts) short, but in those segments very descriptive, and capture this moody, dark atmosphere really well. Im looking forward to hearing more.

Fleech Food · #4 07-15-2003, 04:56 PM

Another part, I have lots of this story waiting to be typed.

Fey began to panic. All around him, the dark air seemed to survey him. His breathing was harsh and ragged. Ti was a practical joker, but he wouldn't do this. Fey sat down and tried to figure things out. The fire enhanced his many scars as he sat alone and began to weep.
"What's happening?" Fey cried to the night sky, "Why don't you just let me know." He ran to the centre of trees, where the other mudokons were.
"Oh, Ker-" Fey shouted to a mudokon heading towards him, but was stopped talking by Kerri.
"It's terrible Fey, Dare's gone!" Kerri said, his voice quavering with emotion, "Where's Ti?"
"Same."
The two broke down and sobbed on each other's shoulders. A pair of slitted red eyes appeared in the black shadows
of the trees, followed by another, and another. They had found the tribe..

Sorry 'bout shortness. I am trying (and failing) to make it easier to read

Hobo · #5 07-15-2003, 05:07 PM

You're not failing, i think that makes it just right. Anyway this is amazing, keep writing ok?

Fleech Food · #6 07-16-2003, 03:01 PM

Next bit

Mudokons were disappearing from all around the tribe. After two days only Fey, Kerri, a shaman, and Diz remained.
"I'm scared," Diz said, "I'm only young, I don't need this sort of pressure."
"Dire times await us." Cried the shaman mystically. The others looked at him sarcastically, "Well, they do.."
Fey and Kerri arranged that they would go and find some food, whilst Gret, the shaman, would take care of Diz. As Fey and Kerri trudged into the trees, some sligs shuffled after them. Fey began to feel anxious again.
"Boo!" A slig jumped out and grabbed Kerri. Kerri screamed and wriggled but it didn't do anything. Fey instantly edged away from the slig and Kerri.
"I see you.." Whispered a voice from behind Fey..

oOoh..... more soon

Fleech Food · #7 07-16-2003, 06:53 PM

Fey twisted around to be greeted by a pair of hands rushing towards him.
"Oh, crap." He muttered. The slig held him around the waist in a crushing grip. Totally winded, all that Fey could do was open and close his mouth.
"We'll find your little friends later." The slig said, digging his fingernails into Fey's flesh, "But for now, you can have a reunion with your tribe." Fey struggled and kicked, he thrashed his hands but all that he got was a heavy blow to the head. He blacked out as the slig carried him off...

I could write more but i'm suffering from a disease called laziness.

Al the Vykker · #8 07-16-2003, 07:17 PM

:

Sorry 'bout shortness. I am trying (and failing) to make it easier to read

No, no. Its fine if chapters in fan fics are short. Its whatever the author wants. So far you have succeeded in such detail in your story, and plot to keep people reading. Just keep that up and you will be fine.

Fleech Food · #9 07-17-2003, 05:21 PM

Hee hee, that was my little joke

Note the winking smilie. Anyway, here's the story.

When Fey woke up, he was locked in a small cage on his own. He could hear some mudokons crying and some whispering between each other. The room was nearly pitch black as Fey rested his head on the cold floor. He had noticed that he was in a seperate room to the others when suddenly the doors slid open and a solitary light flickered on. A lone figure edged in, it was a glukkon. An assortment of chains and spikes hung from her deep-coloured clothes, they swung as she moved towards him.
"Don't worry, mudokon," she said, whispering something to the front of the cage, "You are free." Sure enough, the cage door sprang open. Faint mechanical footsteps were heading towards the door. The glukkon nudged the door so that it was barely open and went to the doors. She gave her farewells and disappeared. Fey was perplexed...

What happens next? Who was the glukkon? Has Fleech Food finally lost her marbles? Find out soon

Fleech Food · #10 07-18-2003, 07:45 PM

Right, first of all: Fey could here the other muds through the thin wall, ok? Good

. Right, back to the story.

Fey jumped at the chance of escaping, but he couldn't leave all of his friends behind. As he slinked through the slide doors, he saw the glukkon being led away by some sligs. Another set of doors stood about a metre away from the doors he had just exited. As he entered, the talking abruptly stopped.
"Oh, it's just Fey." Somebody said. Everyone sighed with relief.
"Guys, where are we?" Fey asked. He didn't know why he asked the question, he already knew the answer. Some mudokons looked at each other, but didn't answer, "Ok, skip that question," Fey said, turning the conversation a different way, "Where's Ti?" Yet again, only silence. The only mudokon standing, Kip, wiped a tear from his blood-shot eyes and drew a finger swiftly across his neck. Fey stood speechless and then began to howl with sadness. As he broke down into a sobbing ball on the floor, the door opened....

Fleech Food · #11 07-19-2003, 12:10 PM

Two sligs walked in and spotted Fey sobbing on the floor, they ran as fast as their metal legs would carry them up to him.
"Get here!" One of the sligs hollered. Fey did not move.
"Come with us, you pile of crap!" Still, Fey didn't move. The two sligs attempted to drag him out by his feet, but Fey didn't give up that easily. He put both of his hands around the bars of the cage and held on for dear life. But the sligs were a step ahead. The one who had spoken first let go of his foot and went to the cage. He rammed his gun into Fey's arm and walked back. When the slig had hit Fey's arm, a bit of the bone shattered out of his skin and sprayed the floor with inky blood. Fey let out a blood-chilling scream and let go to cradle his arm, the sligs grabbed the oppurtunity and dragged him out of the room, ignoring Fey's mixed wails of pain and sadness...

Awwww... poor Fey

Hobo · #12 07-20-2003, 01:25 PM

I'm liking this. Keep writing......

Fleech Food · #13 07-21-2003, 03:10 PM

By the way, this wont be a story with a happy ending. Yay.

The sligs dragged Fey most of the way through the slaughter house, ignoring his screams which got louder by the minute. They finally reached a dank room. It had a eerie look about it. Placed directly in the centre was a machine, underneath it was a chair. The sligs strapped him tightly onto the chair and waited. The door opened and a glukkon walked in. He was dressed in a crisp suit and looked extremely angry.
"This is the annoying one, boss." One of the sligs said, pointing his gun at Fey's face.
"Good, turn on the machine." The glukkon said idly. The slig ran up to a large red button and pushed it happily. The machine started to whirr and moved towards Fey's open mouth. A set of pincers held his mouth shut whilst something that looked disturbingly like an oversized stapler pressed against his lips. He would have screamed, but the pieces of metal stuck into his lips and gums made it difficult to even breath. The glukkon muttered to the sligs and they took Fey from the chair and dragged him away..

Hobo · #14 07-21-2003, 03:18 PM

Keep writing. I like this.

Abeguy · #15 07-21-2003, 04:13 PM

Good Fanfics. now, me saying that is Something special. so get over it.

Just kidding

No, it is good! Keep up the good work

Fleech Food · #16 07-21-2003, 05:47 PM

They sligs tossed Fey back into the room with the other muds in and locked the door. The muds had been released from the cages for some reason.
"Holy crap, Fey!" Jean said, looking at the tight stitches, "What did they do to you?" Fey walked up to one of the dusty walls and put his finger onto it, the mudokons crowded around him. 'Oww' was all that he wrote before turning back around. A few mudokons giggled. He headed towards a corner and slumped sleepily into a ball, just then the doors reopened. Several sligs walked in.
"Which one shall we take this time?" One asked another,
"How about staple-face over there in the corner?" Said another,
"And that pale one." Four sligs departed from the group and went to the specified targets. Staple-face - I mean Fey, gave up without a fight. He was tired, sad, and had two vertical strips of metal stuck in his mouth. The sligs carried him and Jet off through the doors to an odd set of swing doors. Grinding sounds and shrieks of pain gave Fey one idea where they were heading, and it wasn't a nice idea..

Oooh, not near the end yet

Hobo · #17 07-21-2003, 06:48 PM

Good! keep writing still............

Fleech Food · #18 07-25-2003, 08:20 PM

Fey was taken into the room first. He gasped and ripped the stitches a little, causing tears to well in his eyes again. Carcasses of mudokons and scrabs where being pulled into a large machine and came out as neat little squares of meat. Excess blood was filling up some metal boxes and was emitting a weird smell. He let out a scream and fully ripped out the strips of metal. Blood splattered over the floor and Fey howled in utmost agony as the strips refused to come loose from his bottom lip. The slig holding him dropped him in fits of laughter. Fey bolted through the swing doors and towards the mudokons. He forced open the doors and raced in.
"Quick, you have to come with me!" he said, tears streaming down his bloody face, "Hurry up. Now !" The muds all rushed through the doors and followed Fey's sprint. He could see the metal front doors. But somebody was standing there...