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  #1  
12-18-2002, 10:26 PM
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Ben's Oddysee

Here you have it, the continuation of VLI 147! I really enjoyed VLI 147 but I plan to make Ben's Oddysey a much better story. I really hope you guys enjoy this!
-----------------------------------------

It was the first day in the desert. It was about 5:00 P.M.

The blistering heat beat down on us. Our small party was already fatigued and thirsty. Our stride was weak and we slouched from the exhaustion.

My feet dug into the hot sand.

I looked in front of me. Abe marched ahead, leading the way, he seemed to be in good spirits. I turned and faced Joe and Tim, their sad faces spoke for them.

"Abe! Can we take a break?!" I yelled up to him.

He turned, "Ben, we have a long way to go and we're making good time." He turned back around and kept walking.

"But AAAABE! We're tired!" Yelled Joe and Tim in unison.

"And thirsty!" Yelled Joe.

"And I want to get something to eat!" said Tim as a follow-up comment.

Abe didn't turn around, but instead solemnly marched forward. Joe and Tim kept right on at it though. Every few seconds of the crisp desert air was ripped apart by their incesant whining. Second upon second, minute upon minute, hour after hour....

"ABE WE'RE TIRED! WE WANT TO SIT DOWN!" They shrieked again.

Abe stopped.

"ENOUGH!" Abe was mad, "Okay, we'll rest under that rock-face. But in the morning we set out." he paused, "And I don't want to hear anymore whining!" He snarled.

I was a little suprised at his anger but then again I wasn't.

The rock-face was a little out of our way. About a half an hour, but we needed the rest. We got there just as the sun set.
We set up a small camp and built a small fire out of brush we collected around the scattered boulders. Tribal paintings lined the rocks walls. It showed ceremonial hunts, and sacred animals like the paramite, and scrab. I walked along the wall of the rock, examining the paintings which were scattered here and there.

Then one caught my eye.

“Abe!” Abe set down some of the firewood he was collecting and ran over.

“What is it?” He asked, a little out of breath.

I pointed to the painting on the wall.
It had a spiraling circle in the center and three protruding spike-like things evenly spaced around the circle. Four mudokons stood around it’s edge, they were chanting.

“What is that?” I asked. Abe rubbed his chin (or lack thereof).

“I suppose it’s an ancient ritual. In fact,” his eyes widened, “I’ve heard of something like this! I think this was an old practice done to open portals.”

I was puzzled, “They already have bird-portals and that doesn’t look like one.” I said.

“Not bird-portals Ben, World-portals. These portals opened rifts between the worlds.” he said with a solemn face.

“What do you mean?” I asked, not fully comprehending it.

“The two worlds that it could open, Oddworld and the land of the dead.”

“You mean Necrum?”

“No Ben. This is where your spirit travels after you die,” He pointed to another painting next to the portal. It showed a tunnel leading to a world unknown to me. Mudokon ghosts rested in this world next to ours in the painting, “This portal opens the worlds and allows travel. But this practice was outlawed long-ago. There was no controling who came through the portal.” We stood in silence for a moment.

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH*

“Oh no!” Abe said.

Scrabs had smelled the camp.

Last edited by sO fReAkIn oDd; 12-19-2002 at 03:53 PM..
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  #2  
12-18-2002, 11:38 PM
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Yay! Keep going. If this story is going where I think it's going, I'm gonna be lovin' it...

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  #3  
12-19-2002, 12:34 AM
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Happy cool

I like it but pleas put the shrink in

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  #4  
12-19-2002, 06:29 PM
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Lindsey this story is happening simultaneously with Tales of the Shrink.......I can't put that Shrink in, but I can put other Shrink's in. And thanks for the replies.
-----------------------------------

Run.

My instincts kicked in.

Run.
Abe and myself automatically began to sprint away from the horrid screeching, we heard the footsteps in the distance, but they weren't scrab footsteps. They were Joe and Tim's, they cought up to us, screeching and howling in fright.

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH*

The scrabs were getting closer.

We were running side by side, each equally frightened.

Our feet dug into the rocky gorund beneath us almost in a terrified rythem.

I glanced over to the others. Joe and Tim were crying and panting with terror, but Abe, Abe was solemnly running forward. In a deep voice he said, "That ledge over there!" He pointed out a small ledge, just out of reach of the scrabs.

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEECH*

The scrab pack was behind us. Three or four males, running in a "V" shape. The alpha-male was following me. His razor-sharp beak came dangerously close to my back. I could hear their steps. I could hear the tapping of their talon-like feet against the rocky floor. Closer, closer, closer...........

JUMP!

I jumped forward.

My hands barely grasped the edge. I pulled myself up.

I was out of breath, i leaned over and panted heavily.

"You guys alright?" I asked.

I recieved a few out-of-breath-nods from each head.

I looked around. The ledge led back into a dark cave in the mountain.

*SCREEEEEEEEEEECH SCHREECH SCHREECH SCHREECH*

The scrabs shrieked in anger.

"Lets go into the cave. We need some shelter for the night."

They agreed.

We marched over and enetered the cave.
Pitch Black.
Nothing could be seen in the mirky darkness. We leaned against the cave wall and edged down the side. My hand hit an old torch on the wall.

"Uh.......guys!" Shouted Joe.

"Yea WHAT NOW!?" Screamed Abe.

"This isn't a cave!" Joe yelled back.

I remebered my chanting in Vykkers labs made the vent appear, I just hoped it would make fire appear.

I chanted and moved my hands in the familiar rythem.

"Fire, fire, fire, fire........." I thought. All the torches in the cave ignited.

To my horror I saw hundreds of dug up graves and discarded bones laying about the mine tracks.

"THIS IS A BONE MINE!" screamed Joe.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" we screamed. The terror ran through us all. we ran screaming out of the mine!

We made camp outside and waited for daylight.
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  #5  
12-19-2002, 08:01 PM
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im likeing this story cepe going (wen are you going to do some thing with the other story)

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  #6  
12-19-2002, 11:58 PM
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I just realized that I spelled "Oddysee" wrong, I spelled it with a "y" at the end. Is there anyway to change it?

Thanks
-sO fReAkIn oDd

P.S. The next section of this story should be expected tomorrow. And lindsey, i'll work on Tales of the Shrink when I get a chance.
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  #7  
12-21-2002, 07:07 PM
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Briliant story. Keep it up. Are you planning on giving the mine some relevence in the story? that would be good. Well, its your story.
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  #8  
12-29-2002, 08:37 AM
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Ooh spooky, I like it.
In your signature it says your stories get no feedback, well maybe if you write more in them they would. So update!!
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