A goofy story that makes no real sence

[sligster]

This is a story, with shall we say, it's basicly a mix of a bunch of movies and games, all combined into one, big, ..............story thingy.

Part1- Preperation

Sarge: Marines!!

All Marines: Yes Sir!

Sarge: We are now going into battle with the raptor menace!

Marine: But sir, I thought we were going into battle with the Donald Duck menace?

Sarge: No, thats on Tuesday, Chek your scedual!

Marine: * Cheks war scedual * Oh

Sarge: Now, when we go into war with the Raptors, we will rip out their intestines, and strangle them with it!!!!! Do I make my- self clear?!?!

Marines: Sir Yes Sir!!

Sarge: Uh, huh..... Damn right I am..... Move out!!!!!


Part 2- First Blood

* Their were raptors everywhere, humans where fighting back, but there was little hope. *

Johnson: * Throws gun on floor and attaks using claws like raptors. *

Sarge: Johnson! What the hell are you doing!?!?

Johnson: Well sir, I thought that I'd.. * Raptor jumps on johnson and eats him * AAAAHHHHHHGGHGGHGHGG!!!!!!! * Screams get muffled out by blood *

Sarge: Damnit Johnson, why do you always have to get yourself killed? * Shoots raptor *

Raptor Sarge: Kill the humans! *Picks up long range walke talky and contacts ship * Bring in the turret guns!!!!

* Raptor ship comes in dropping turret guns everywhere, one turret gun lands on a marine*

Marine: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

Sarge: Turret guns? RETREAT!!!!!!!!

* Humans retreat *

Raptor Sarge: Don't let them get away!!!! Kill them all!!!!!!!!!!

* Raptors get into turret guns and start killing humans *

3 Marines: AAAAHHHHHHGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

Sarge: * Speaks into walky talky * This is Sarge to Master Cheif, do you read?!?

Master Cheif: You mean read like understand you right? Because if you want me to read a book ther's a little thing I have to tell you about...................I can't read.

Sarge: .................... what the hell are you talking about!?!?! Just pick us up now! Sarge out!

* Master Cheif fly's in with Hello Kitty ship and picks up marines, one marine gets shot out of ship *

Marine: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! * hits ground * I'm okay! * Raptors shoot him * Now I'm not!

Part 3- New foes

* Master Cheif walks into room *

Sarge: Damnit Master Cheif, your built for fighting!

Master Cheif: Your point?

Sarge: My point is, why don't you go out there and fight? Why do we have to risk our asses, when we'r not even properly armoured!?!

Master Cheif: Because you know I can kill you at any time

Sarge:......................

* Whole ship starts to shake *

Marine: What was that?!

Other Marine: Did something just hit us?!

* Master Cheif runs to the bridge *

Master Cheif: Capitan, what happened!?!

Capitan: I don't know ask that guy over there by the radar!

Guy over by the radar: We'r being attaked by some sort of giant.... pink..... ship.

Guy over by teleporter: Capiton, incoming transmission

Capitan: Well don't just sit there, bring it on screen!

* Screen lights up *

Capitan: oh no..... this is'nt possible....... how can it be?!?!

Master Cheif: Whats wrong capitan?

Capitan: * Watching T.V. * The Raiders are losing 10-6!!

Master Cheif: Look at the screen!!!

Capitan: * Looks at screen * Holy poo!!!!! It's...... It's....... The all powerful....... Kirby alighance!!!!!!!!!!!!

* Shows Kirby in throne *


How was that? You can jump in anytime if you want.

[mitsur]

This is funny!A hello kitty ship??

[sligster]

Part 4- Into the belly of the beast

Kirby King: Surrender your ship at once and we will kill you! * Servent Kirby whispers something into the King Kirby's ear * Oh, uh, sorry, surrender your ship at once and we won't kill you.

Capitan: Never!!!!!!thats whats susposed to happen, right Master Cheif?

Master Cheif: Yeah

Capitan: Good, You'll never take us alive!!!!! Troops, man your battle stations!

* Troops man battle stations *

Capitan: Fire!!!

* Troops fire *

Kirby King: Plllllllllease! Okay then, my troops, fire at thiere weapons systems!

* Kirby Troops fire at weapons systems and disable them *

Capitan: Oh, poopy

Master Cheif: This looks like a job for my Hello Kitty gun!

Capitan: Damnit, would you stop with the Hello Kitty junk already!?!?

Sligster: Oh, sorry

Kirby King: Open landing station!

* Landing station opens *

Kirby King: Activate tractor beam!

* Tractor beam activates, pulling the humans ship in *

Capitan: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! * Abe hits capitan over the head * thanx, I needed that

Abe: Your welcome!

* Human ship goes into Kirby ship *

Part 5- Second blood

Master Cheif: Okay marines, when that door opens, I want you to open fire!

Marines: Yes Sir!

* Door opens, theres nothing there, marines fire *

Master Cheif: Knock it off!

Marine: but you said....

* Master Cheif Shoots marine in the head *

Other Marine: Ewww..... you got brains all over me!

Master Cheif: Move out!

* Master Cheif and Marines wonder halls untill they come to a dark passge-way *

Master Cheif: It's dark. Really Dark. * Master cheif shines light into darkness *

* Tons of green things come out *

Master Cheif: GREMLINS!!!!!!!!!!! RUN!!!!!!! SHOOT!!!!!!! RUN & SHOOT!!!!!!!!!

* Everyone starts running and shooting untill all Gremlins are dead *

Marine: That was close

Master Cheif: Too close * Master Cheif hears yelling behind him, so he turns around and see's Abe *

Abe: Wait up!

Master Cheif: Abe, what the hell are you doing here?!?!

Abe: UUhhhhhh...... the capitan sent me to see what's taking you guy's so long

Master Cheif: But it's only been 15 minuts

Abe: So?

Master Cheif: * Sigh * Lets just go

* Master Cheif, Marines, and Abe come to a ventalation room *

Abe: Hey, this is pretty refreshing!

* A bunch of Kirbys ambush and capture them *

Marine: You just had to open your big mouth!

Master Cheif: Why don't you just possess one of these guys?

Abe: Cause I ain't got any spooce

Master Cheif: ...........................

Part 6- Fatness

* Kirbys bring Master Cheif, Marines, and Abe to throne room *

Kirby King: So you thought you can get away from me, eh?

Master Cheif: You'll never take me alive Kirby!

King Kirby: Hmmmmm....... I like his enthusiasm, tell you what, let's make a deal!

Abe: ???? I don't get it, Master Cheif just said a few simple words

Marine: Kirby's are idiots

Abe: Ah,

Master Cheif: What kind of deal?

King Kirby: Well, how about a wrestling match? You win, your free to go and our ship self destructs, You lose, I have you all decapitated and I get to destroy Earth

Master Cheif: Wrestling? I'm a pro wrestler! It's a deal!

King Kirby: Good. BRING OUT........ HIM!

* Door opens, revealing Master Cheif's opponent *

Master Cheif: ........ I........I..........I have to fight............ him?

Marine: Holy crap! It's Fat Bastard!

Abe: Fat who?

Marine: Ya know, that fat guy from Austin Powers

[Al the Vykker]

I like your story, its intersting, and quite amusing, but this should not be in Fan Corner unless it has to do mainly with Oddworld. I will see what I should do with this most likely move it to MA&L.


Edit: I guess its fine but just a fair warning as long as your Fan Fic has ties to Oddworld you should be okay. But future notice, if it is not about Oddworld, and has nothing to do with it, make sure to put the story in MA&L.

[sligster]

Part 7- SUMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Master Cheif: But why do I have to fight him? Why can't I fight........ * looks around room *......... him? * Points to Mario *

Mario: Who, me? I aint no wrestler person you know! Sure, I can shoot the fireballs, but I need the freakin fire plant!

Master Cheif: ............Uh, okay

Fat Bastard: Aye, is the little green man afraid? I can beet you easy, heck, I've taken shits bigger than you! Ya know what? I'm gonna eat you! Get in my belly!

Master Cheif: Shut up!

King Kirby: Silence! you have agreed to fight him, now fight him................. now

Master Cheif: Now? But I need to.........

* Fat Bastard jumps on Master Cheif *

Abe: Is he dead?

* Master Cheif's arm twiches *

Fat Basterd: Ha! I win!

King Kirby: Take them to the prisoner cells!

Part 8- Reunion

Marine: Why were'nt you paying attention you idiot?!?!

Master Cheif: Hey, it's not my fault he's so fat!

* Noise comes from cell across from Master Cheif's cell *

Capitan: Ugghhh...... who's there?

Master Cheif: Capitan, is that you? * starts laughing * what happened? Your naked!

Capitan: I lost a bet

Master Cheif: What bet would that be?

Capitan: I bet King Kirby for 400$ that the Raiders would win. But scince they did'nt, he wanted the money, wich I did'nt have, so he stripped me of my clothes and put me in here

Marine: HA! HA! the capitans naked!

Capitan: And your pants are ripped!

Marine: Huh? Where?

Master Cheif: Quiet! We have to find a way out of here!

Capitan: Did'nt you say that you had a Hello Kitty gun with you on the ship?

Master Cheif: Oh, yeah! * Pulls out rocket launcher with Hello Kitty painted on it * I like to customize all of my weaponry!

Abe: Shoot the bars!

Master Cheif: Huh? oh, right * Shoots bars * yeah, I'm free!

Capitan: Then free us!

* Master Cheif frees everyone *

Capitan: Okay, now we need to get out of here!

Part 9- Escape

* Master Cheif and crew arrive at human ship *

Capitan: Now lets get out of here! Marines, you now how to work the controls, right?

Marine: uh, yeah, sure

Other Marine: ...................... nope

Other Marine: I'm not sure

Capitan: Aw, what the hell, you * Points to marine * drive, the rest of you, do other stuff

Marine: * Gets in drivers seat * ummmm......... okay, lets see how this works.......... hey capitan, wheres the egnition?

Capitan: Right there

Marine: Okay, thanks! * Turns on ship * Now lets go! * Puts ship in reverse and hits wall * oops, my bad! * Puts ship in drive and flys out of Kirby ship *

* Tie fighters fly out of Kirby ship and start shooting the human ship *

Capitan: Damn! we need someone to go out there and destroy those Tie fighters, not to mention the Kirby ship!

Part 10- Star Wars All Over Again

Master Cheif: I'll grab the X- Wing! I need 2 voulonteers to go with me! You and you, come with me!

Marine: Okay

Other Marine: Yeah, sure, better than listening to general dumb-ass!

Capitan: What?

Marine: Nothing!

Master Cheif: Okay, you get the Banshee

Marine: All right!

Master Cheif: And you get the pink butterfly

Marine: WHAT!!!!!!!!

Master Cheif: Do it marine!

* Master Cheif gets in X- Wing, Marine gets in Banshee, and Other Marine gets in.............Pink Butterfly *

Master Cheif: Take this! * Shoots down a bunch of Tie Fighters *

Marine: Aw man, this Banshee ROCKS!!!!! * Shoots down a bunch of Tie Fighters *

Other Marine: I'm hit!!!! * Pink Butterfly explodes *

Master Cheif: I hated him anyway, C'mon, lets move in and destroy the Kirby Ship!

* Master Cheif and Marine move into small crevice in the Kirby Ship *

Master Cheif: My senscors detect a ventalation shaft at the end of this crevice! If we can get a misile into that shaft, the whole Kirby Ship should explode!

Marine: More Tie Fighters! I'll take care of them, while you take out the shaft! * Fly's out of crevice *

Master Cheif:....... I'm almost there! * King Kirby's Tie Fighter appears *

* Plays Darth Vader Music *

King Kirby: Die! * Shoots lasers at Master Cheif, but Master Chief dodges them *

Master Cheif: You'll never take me alive!

King Kirby: * Breathing loudly * The force is strong with this one!

Master Cheif: Aha! The vent! Just gotta get this shot right and........ * Master Cheif shoots misile into shaft * YES!!!! * Fly's away *

King Kirby: NOOOO!!!!! * Crashes *

* Kirby Ship Explodes *

[sligster]

Part 11- Even Newer Foes

* Banshee and X-Wing fly into dock *

Master Cheif: That went better than expected, and we only lost one Marine!

Marine: But that only leaves us with * counts on fingers * 47 perssonel left!

Master Cheif: Then talk to the capitan!

* Master Cheif and Marine arrive at bridge *

Master Cheif: Capitan, the baby over here....

Marine: HEY!!!

Master Cheif: Wants to call for rienforcements.

Capitan: Then call em in!

Master Cheif: * picks up phone * uh, yeah, I want 50 experienced troops by Friday, can you do that? Okay, thanx. * Puts down phone * The'll be here by Friday!


FRIDAY


* the dropship arrives at docking bay *

Master Cheif: Cmon troops, we aint got all day!

Man: Sighn here please

* Master Cheif sighns paper *

Man: And they're yours!

* Dropship leaves *

Master Cheif: Everyone, to their bunckers! NOW!

* Speaker comes on *

Speaker: Master Cheif, the Capitan needs you

* Master Cheif goes to bridge *

Master Cheif: You wanted to see me?

Capitan: Yes, it seems the dropship has been destroyed

Master Cheif: By what?

Capitan: This ship

* Holographic bug-looking ship appears in middle of room *

Master Cheif: What kind of ship is that?

Capitan: We don't know, it seemed friendly untill they tried to communicate with it, when they did, this ship destroyed them..................but before they did get destroyed, this ship sent a message, in their language, so we don'y know what they've said, but the computer is working on decoding it

Master Cheif: An unknown language?

Capitan: Yes

* Ship starts to shake *

Master Cheif: What the?

Man By Radar: We'r reading a very large bug-like ship

Capitan: Bring it on screen!

* Ship appears on screen *

Master Cheif: It's the ship that destroyed the dropship!

* An alien head appears on screen *

Man: Geez, they're uglier than they're ships!

Alien: * fiddles with machine * THE GODS WILL RULE ALL! BUT WITH EVERY GOD, HE/SHE MUST USE A WEAPON! WE ARE THE WEAPONS OF ALL GODS!!!!!!! WE ARE THE COVENENT!!!!!!!

Master Cheif: Is that a translation?

Capitan: No, they've odviously been watching us for some time..............

Alien: BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE COVENENT SHALL RULE ALL!!!!!!!!!!! * turns * START THE PLASMA CANNONS!!!!!!! WE'R TAKING OUT ALL HUMAN LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mitsur]

Part something I forgot so forget about it!-Disaster!!!!!!

Marine:Hey,is'nt this from a movie I've seen?

Captian:You mean Mars attack?

Marine:yeah

Master cheif:SHUT UP!*shoots marine*Now......TO THE BATCAVE!

Other marine:don't you mean the ever so tiny hanger?

Master cheif: O yeah.........TO THE HANGER!

Captian:We only have two ships!How the h*** will we beat them?????

Marine:Hey I have a VERY conveneint ship-in-a-box!Copyright 2002 by the little boy's toys company!

Captian:Lets go!How do we make it into a ship though?

Marine:uhhhhhh......I forgot

Captian: D*****!

Will they ever get hit by the plasma cannons??!!Will they find out how to expand the VERY convient ship-in-a-box?Will I stop talking?????

[sligster]

lol, good one Mitsur!

Part 12-Fight The Covenent!

Master Cheif: Hey, mister alien dude?

Alien: WHAT?!?

Master Cheif: Do you know how to inflate a Ship-In-A-Box?

Alien: YOU MEAN THE ONES FROM BOYS TOYS?

Matser Cheif: Yeah, that one

Alien: FIRST, YOU OPEN THE CONPARTMENT ON THE TOP, THEN FLIP THE SWITCH, WHY?

Master Cheif: No reason

* Marine inflates Ship-In-A-Box *

Marine: Whoa! A Millenium Falcon! Sweet!

Master Cheif: Deploy mini fighters!

* A bunch of 12 inch jets come out of Millenium Falcon *

Marine: I aint getting in one of those!

Master Cheif: Do it!

* Marines get in Mini Fighters *

Master Cheif: Sarge, get in the Banshee, and I'll get in the X-Wing!

* Sarge gets in Banshee, Master Cheif gets in X-Wing *

Master Cheif: Move out!

* All ships go to fight Covenent *

Alien: DEPLOY SCARY FACE!!!!

* Big scary face comes out of Covenent ship *

Master Cheif, Sarge and Marines: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

* Everyone goes back to human ship *

Capitan: That was fast!

Alien: FIRE PLASMA CANNON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* Plasma Cannon fires, destroying the human ships sheilds *

Alien: FIRE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* Plasma Cannon fires again, this time cutting right through human ship *

Alien: BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* Speaker turns on *

Speaker: The ship has been hit, all life will suffocate in 5 minutes, please run around in circles yelling

* Everyone runs around in circles and starts yelling *

Speaker: Have a nice day!

Master Cheif: Back to the bridge!

Back at the bridge, the super friends are trying to figure out, what to do

Master Cheif: I'm going to try to land on that nearby planet! Everyone, err............pretend that your working, or something. Here we go!!!!!!!!

* Human ship turns tword planet *

Speaker: We will be entering [ insert name hear ]'s atmosphere in 10 seconds, please hold on to something

* Human ship enters atmosphere of planet *

Alien: WHAT!?! NO!!!! FOLLOW THAT SHIP, AND WIPE OUT ANY SURVIVORS!!!!!!!!!

* Covenent ship follows Human ship onto planet *

[mitsur]

Part something-uhhhhh where are we?

Marine: O man!Why did I become a marine?WHY?I could be having decaffe coffe right now but n-*is shot*

Captian:So thats why he was called big face.......

Master cheif: WHO CARES!??

Marine:uhhh me?

Captian:..............

Master cheif:WHO C-

*they hit a planet*

Captian:Scanners indicate,,,,,Hey!!!This ain't a planet!ITS THE DEATH STAR!

Marine:You mean that is'nt a crater?

*they all look*

Other marine:Why is a tiny gun thingie aiming at us?And what are the tie-fiters doing?

Captian:O GEEZ!WE'RE ON THE STAR WARS MOVIE SET!

What will happen?

[sligster]

................................................. yeeeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.......................... well.................... * dances around like idiot *


Part 13- Big, Big, Planet

Marine Driving: We'r going too fast!

Master Cheif: Don't worry.....

Marine Driving: We'r not gonna make it!

Master Cheif: We'll meke it.......

Marines: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* Ship breaks apart in the atmosphere and starts to burn *

Marines: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* Ship lands on planet, killing 4 marines inside *

Capitan: uuuuuggggghhhhhhh...........

* Master Cheif climbs out of wreck without a scratch *

Master cheif: Is everybody okay?

Marine: Joe's dead

Master Cheif: ......................okayyyyyy........ are all of the people who are'nt dumbasses okay?

Marines: Yeah

Master Cheif: Good...... c'mon everybody

* Everyone comes out of wreck with huge cuts and bruises *

Marine: MY LEG! IT'S GONE!

* Master Cheif comes to talking sighn *

Sighn: Welcome to Oddworld! Place of Oddventure!
For a Map of the continent your on, press 1
For names of all of the citys on this continent, press 2
For names of the best resturaunts and food, press 3
For names of major financial buisness men, press 4
To view all of these, press 5
To repeat this message, press the pound sighn
To make this sighn self destruct and be replaced by a new one, press the star symbol

Master Cheif: Oddworld? That sounds promising

[sligster]

Part 14- Explore Oddworld


Master Cheif: Let's see....... * presses 1 *

* Sighn starts to print out map *

Master Cheif: * looks at map * Looks like the closest city from here is............ Odd Vegas.

Capitan: Then Odd Vegas it is!!!!!!!! * runs off *

Master Cheif: Okaaayyyyy....... CAPITAN!!!!!! YOU DON'T HAVE A MAP!!!!!!!!!!!!

* capitan comes back *

Capitan: oops

Master Cheif: Hmm........ * presses star symbol * hehe * runs away *

* sighn explodes *

Master Cheif: ...............cool......... To Odd Vegas it is!!!!!!

* everyone follows Master Cheif *

10 Hours Later

Marine: Master Cheif, for much further???

Master Cheif: uuhhhhhhh....... 5 miles

* Master Cheif and crew arrive at Odd Vegas *

Marine: ooooo.......... look at all the lights

* The streets of Odd Vegas are filled with strange creatures *

Master Cheif: I'm scared

Abe: .............. Now I remember!!!!!!

Master Cheif: Remeber what?

Abe: This is my home planet!

Master Cheif: What?

Abe: Yup

Master Cheif: Then can you at least help us around here?

Abe: ...... uhhhh....... yep

Master Cheif: Then what are all of these creatures?!?

Abe: Uhhhhhh........... those ones with the metal legs are called sligs, and those octopus-headed guys with the fancy suits are called glukkons, and.. uhhh......... those three legged guys are called vykkers, that guy with the dress is a....... uhhh...... I don't know what he is.... and all of those guys that look like me are called mudokons

Master Cheif:......................... What?

Capitan: I don't care about what these things are called!!!!!! I wanna gamble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marine: Lets try that casino! * points to giant tower called The Oddospere *

Master Cheif: ............. why not?


Part 15- Viva Odd Vegas!!!!!!!

Marine: Heres a nice lookin slot machine! * sits down and inserts quarter *

Slot Machine: * starts to shake * Beep..... Beep....... Beep...... * throws quarter back out *

* quarter hits marines eye *

Marine: OWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Slot Machine: That currancy won't do....... need moolah.......... need moolah............ need moolah........

Marine: Moolah? * looks around and see's slig with LOTS of moolah * Hey, slig...

Slig: What?

Marine: Can I borrow some moolah?

Slig: No

Marine: Please?

Slig: No

Marine: Come on!!!!!

Slig: I SAID NO!!!!!!!!!!!!

* slig leaves *

Marine: Damnit!

Meanwhile.............

Master Cheif: * looks around * Aha! Poker! * sits down at poker tabel *

* Vykker hands out cards *

Master Cheif: hmmmm........ I'll keep..... An Ace and a King * hands Vykker the rest of the cards *

* Vykker hands back MC three new cards *

Master Cheif: awwwww...............

Vykker: Looks like you lose! 100 moolah.....

Master Cheif: What? 100 moolah!?!!....... errr........... whats moolah?

* vykker gets pissed *

Meanwhile..............

* Capitan looks for slot machine to use *

Capitan: Lets see........ no....... no....... no....... * bumps into glukkon with very shiney clothes *

Glukkon: Watch it!!!!!! * walks away cursing *

* Capitan looks down and sees that the glukkon droped a coin *

Capitan: Wha? * picks up coin * hmmmmm..............

* Capitan sits down at a slot machine, inserts coin, and pulls lever *

Capitan: come on..........

* Capitan watches reels.......... one reel stops...... it shows a picture of a slig surrounded by hundreds of coins............ another reel stops and it shows that exact same picture of a slig........... the last reel stops and shows a picture of the slig...... *

Slot Machine: * starts to flash * Congratulations!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!! You are now the proud owner of....... 3,000,000 moolah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * thousands of coins start pouring out of slot machine *

Capitan: ...................

[sligster]

Part 16- The Covenent Arrive

* Marine stands outside of casino, when Master Cheif arrives scratched up *

Marine:What happened to you?

Master Cheif: * points to vykker *

Vykker: * is being held back by cops * COME ON! I CAN TAKE HIM ON! JUST GIMME 5 MINUITES!!!

Marine: I see........ What the?

Capitan: * Comes back with huge sacks of Moolah * Check it out!

Master Cheif: How did you get so lucky!?!!!!!??

* Capitan points to glittery glukkon looking everywhere on the floor for his lost moolah *

Master Cheif: .......right...

* Casino Explodes *

Master Cheif: What the!?!!?

* Covenent Ship flies over-head *

Alien: DESTROY EVERY BUILDING UNTILL YOU FIND THE HUMANS!!!!!!!

* ship fires plasma rays at all nearby buildings *

Master Cheif: Not again! * sees a Ships R Us store with a sale on Jetpacks or only 3,000,000 moolah *...........oh, capitan?

Capitan: Oh, no.... I am not doing it! * Sees Covenent Ship blast a giant Pyramid shaped casino to bits * .......acually........go ahead * gives MC moolah *

Master Cheif: * Runs to Ships R Us and buys Jetpack * Okay, got the jetpack, now to try to destroy giant..........million foot long......Covenent ship......

Marine: Well get to it!

* Ship blasts another casino *

Master Cheif: Okay then.......* gulp * here I go.......

Capitan: Hold on, if you don't make it back......can I have your stereo?

Master Cheif: ...........whatever.......* Flies upwards *

Alien by Radar: CAPITAN, WE'R GETTING SOMETHING ON RADAR, MOVING IN FAST!!!!!!!

Alien: PUT IT ON SCREEN!!!!!!!

* MC appears on screen flying tword ship *

Alien: ONE OF THE HUMANS WANTS TO PLAY! ............TAKE HIM OUT!!!!!!!!!

* Ship blasts and almost hits MC *

Master Cheif: WHOA!!!!! * another laser fires * AHH!!!!!! * MC dodges it * ......help * MC dodges a number of Covenent Lasers until he finally collides with the hull of the ship * OW! what the? * touches surface * It's a sheild! hmmmmmm.........A nice solid grenade should penetrate it! * Attaches grenade to ship and flies to other side and waits for explosion *

* Grenade explodes *

Master Cheif: * Flies back to where he left grenade * What the? * sheild ripples yellow and orange, then returnes to normal color * .........Inpenatrible! I can't penetrate it! And there's no sheild opening! ........No, I can't have gotten this far, just to fail......wait a minuite * sees a peice of the sheild disintegrate, fire a laser, then return * Of coarse! they must lower their sheilds to fire.....if I can just get inside the ship before the laser fires, I can destroy it from the inside! But one wrong move, and I'm a Cheif-Cabob....hehe.....Cheif-Cabob......I made a funny! * clears throat * Anyway...... * peice of sheild starts to disintigrate * PERFECT! now I just need to...... * laser charges * NOW!!!!! * Jumps into ship, but halfway through, the laser fires * AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! * MC's back burns and blood splatters against inside of visor...finally lands on ground * I'm dead.....I just know it, said MC * MC opens eyes * .....hey, I'm not dead! * Gets up * It looks like the MJOLNIR armour really does work against plasma! Who knew? .......Okay then......so.......what now?

Part 17- The Covenent's Last Stand

Master Cheif: * Sees information booth * Ah, here we go! * Walks over to info booth and presses begin *

Info Booth: If you are watching this video, you are either a rookie, a guest, or a stupid little Grunt!

Master Cheif: I wonder what a Grunt is?

Info Booth: As you may know, being in the Covenent Army is very dangerous, that's why the best scientists in the buisness are always working hard to protect you, thats right YOU in battle! Here is the PLASMA GRENADE * shows blueish grenade with a yellow stripe * It has special sencors, that indicate what surface it touches, for example: Whoever activates it, it will not stick, but as soon as it's thrown, is will stick to any living creature and bounce off of non-living material!

Master Cheif: Interesting

Info Booth: Now, you know when a PLASMA GRENADE is activated, when it releases a blue light 8 the picture of the grenade started to glow a bright blue * The next weapon in the Covenent arsenal is the NEEDLER * a picture of a strange looking gun appears * It fires dozens of pink needles that once fired, will home in on the closest living creature, and explode!

Master Cheif: Homing capabilities?

Info Booth: The last weapons are the PLASMA PISTOL, the ever popular PLASMA RIFLE, and the extremly powerful, FUEL ROD CANNON. The PLASMA PISTOL * another strange looking gun appears * Is a battery fed gun that is not capable of rapid-fire, but is capable of charging. Once fully charged, it will release an extremly powerful blast of plasma. The PLASMA RIFLE * a picture of a PLASMA RIFLE appeared * is only to be used by ELITES. The weapon is not capable of charging, but is capable of rapid-fire. Although too long of a rapid-fire, will result in the overheating of the weapon, and will then stop working for a few seconds. And last but not least, is the FUEL ROD CANNON. The FUEL ROD CANNON is only to be used by HUNTERS, and high ranking GRUNTS. The FUEL ROD CANNON fires an extremly powerful blast, which will destroy anything in it's path. The FUEL ROD CANNON is to be used with EXTREME caution.

Master Cheif: ...........ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ Huh? wha? yeah.

Info Booth: Now for the different species of Covenent, here we have a GRUNT * a picture of a small alien wearing an envirmental suit appears * A GRUNT stands 5ft tall and is relitivly weak. Next is a JACKLE * a picture of a bird-like alien appears * A JACKLE stands 5ft 6in and carries an energy sheild. Next is an ELITE * a picture of a big blue alien with a 4-way mouth appears * An ELITE stands about 7ft tall, have a full body energy sheild, and has amazing cat-like agility. Extreme caution should be taken when fightin ELITES, especially the higher ranking ones with PLASMA SWORDS, the swords will slice through anything they touch. And lastly, we have HUNTERS * a picture of an alien with a gigantic sheild, and gladiator-like armour appears *

Master Cheif: ..........whoa.

Info Booth: Extreme Caution should be taken when getting even a few feet of a HUNTER. A HUNTER stands 12ft tall, but retracts to 8ft when in battle. They carry a FUEL ROD CANNON, and a sheild that is attatched to their armour

Master Cheif: ......................What did I get myself into?

Info Booth: Now most importantly, a map of the ship

Master Cheif: Finally!

* a map appears and MC records it *

Master Cheif: Okay, got it! * Runs through corridors to find plasma generator * * He arrived at the end of a corridor and came up to a door, which he quickly unlocked * What the? * a JACKLE stood on the other side of the door .....MC and it stood stuned for a few secondes, then it reached for something in it's belt, and that's when MC pulled out the old ASSAULT RIFLE and fired. Hundreds of bone-shredding bullets peirced through the JACKLE like butter. When the JACKLE finally fell, purple blood oozd from the body * Ewwwww....... well, time to continue.....I guess * steps over body * * MC finally arrives at plasma generator and attaches a time bomb to it * 5 minuites, that should get me enough time to get out of this dump! * the speakers turned on *

Speakers: ALERT!!! ALERT!!!!! INTRUDER IN THE COMPOUND!!! ALL PERSONEL REPORT TO THE PLASMA GENERATOR AND TERMINATE THE INTRUDER!!!!

Master Cheif: .......uh, oh..... * the doors open and dozens of GRUNTS, JACKLES, and ELITES burst through * uhhhh........ I'm a pizza delivery boy? * pulls out ASSAULT RIFLE and fires rounds through the aliens. Blue blood from GRUNTS, and PURPLE blood from ELITES and JACKLES. Then........outta ammo * .......Jesus..... uhhh........ * runs through opening that he just made, while aliens are shooting and chasing him * ALMOST THERE!!!!! * arrives at fireing room * Okay, just gotta wait * sheild disintegrates * THERE WE GO! * flies through just before plasma ray fires...... MC is flying back to the ground when the timer hits 0:00 * Okay, that timer should go off any seco...... * The bomb explodes and with it, the plasma generator... tons of plasma streams through the Covenent ship, when the plasma tries to escape the ship, it is just rippled off by the sheild, the shields turn yello, orange, and red, along with a shade of blue from the plasma. The shield looked as if it where melting to MC Then when the sheilds could take no more, they collapsed, and a burst of light shone through the ship, melting all that remained of the ship, until not even a rock was left. When MC returned to the ground he, the Marine, and the Capitan, watched the light show. * Wow, look at it! It's beutiful....in an evil sort of way..... * all of the sudden, a peice of metal fell from the ship and landed on the Marine, killing him.

Capitan: Oh, my god! You killed Marine!

Master Cheif: You bastard!

* Soon, MC and the Capitan learned to accept their life on ODDWORLD, and they became rich buisnessmen.....until their next adventure....... *

The End

[ OOC: So how did you like my first FF? ]

[mudflub2]

crap+funny=?