A scary thing happened to me in last school holidays. I was skimming rocks by myself up in NSW in this holiday resort and I heard someone whisper my name and I looked around but no-one was there so I went back to skimming rocks and then someone taps me on the shoulder and I freak out and jump in the water and I realized it was my brother then I got out and kicked him in the gut.
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The trouble with real life is that there's no danger music.
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like now.
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff. -- Jack Handy
That stuff only happens in the movies. -- Famous Last Words
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