mr.valet slig oddysse

Gabbit · #1 03-13-2002, 08:13 PM

Making my own fiction book: Along time ago, in OddWorld there was a place called Rupture Farms the biggest company on OddWorld. The main bad guys were the Glukkons they want nothin but cash$$$. Alot of bad sligs were hiting mudokons and alot were dying. But one slig his name was slig Valet. He was a bad guy but now he did not belive in being bad will get you money. So thats when it began.

CHAPTER ONE TRAPPED IN VENGANCE.

So there was slig valet he saw a mudokon near the working bay and said hey you here.YES!!!!!!!!.Then slig valet said shhhhhhhhhhh....get over here. He told him we must escape frome Rupture Farms. He said that would be great but how. Get more mudodkons to help us. Good idea(doh). Anyways whats your name said slig valet. My name is Xavier. Nice to meet you said Slig Valet. Ok we got to go. The poop chute is very far away and in the hall way are 2 BigBroSligs said Xavier. Ok lets take the other hall then ok?Sure but lets make it quick ok lets go. Frezzzzzz im a Glukkon chump why ARE YOU NOT AT WORK YOU BASTERDS. So then they ran for miles and miles finally they out runned him. You ok Xavier? Yes im ok the poop chute is right there wait dough there are 15 interns in there are you crazy. I have a good idea pretend im hiting you down there but i will have to hurt you hard to make it realistic ok? Oh man ok ill do it said Xavier. So they went down. WE MADE IT CRIED VALET. OK KNOW LETS WAIT FOR IT TO OPEN. was that a good chapter my next one will be more interesting.

Gabbit · #2 03-13-2002, 09:44 PM

SOMEBODY PLZZZZZZZ REPLY

paramiteabe · #3 03-14-2002, 01:55 AM

Interesting chapter Gabbit. I like how you are useing a slig as your character. In my next storys I will introduce places on other continents and I will give a little twist to the inhabitants we already have seen so far. Heres a tip for ya though when you have a character talk put this mark " around the phrase that is doing the talking. So it can be easier to follow and to know who is talking. Don't worry I did the same mistake in my story around the beginning. Your story is great and I can't wait to read more chapters. You said your second chapter is going to be more interesting? Thats cool I will make sure to read it. Keep up the good work.

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #4 03-14-2002, 09:20 PM

thanks alot parimite im gabbit and i had to re register my next chapter will be here soon

Al the Vykker · #5 03-16-2002, 01:33 AM

Off to a great start!

Can't wait tos hear more!

dark_xinos · #6 03-16-2002, 06:21 AM

I like it!

I wonder what Xavier will say when he notecis that you used his name...lol. I'l stay tuned for more!

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #7 03-16-2002, 12:00 PM

Xavier is my 2 best friend so i put him in the story.

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #8 03-16-2002, 12:14 PM

Chapter 2: Were trapped inside

Ok Xavier were here in the poop chut waiting.....Its opening oh cool were finally free and ably to relax. Not so fast said slig valet!!! Were still in here we have to press the mordertar switch. Really said Xavier? Yes now let me press that switch. No dont go have you forgoten that you have to be a glukkon to press the switch. Oh great said slig valet now we will never get out of Rupture Farms. Wait how about ill chant and posses the Glukkon ok? Yes but thereare chant preventers everwere. Relax said Xavier there are none in here. Ok but be careful said slig valet. Ok now let me search ok? Ok said slig valet. Oh look i found a Glukkon Big Chesse in the hallway. Ok now get him screamed Slig Valet. Ok i got him said Xavier he's in here he pressed the switch. Yeahhhh Baby were finally free and out of Rupture Farms.
Ok we landed said Xavier. Tommorow we go to Scrabinia.

Isnt that a good chapter. But it is really short

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #9 03-17-2002, 02:47 PM

oh and my next chapter will be here soon

paramiteabe · #10 03-17-2002, 02:55 PM

cool chapter. Does Xavier know he is in thi story?

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #11 03-17-2002, 05:39 PM

no he doesnt know i wish he would of read it. And parimite ill put you in chapter 4 is that ok

***Xavier*** · #12 03-17-2002, 05:55 PM

yup I know I'm in the story
I think it's nice...

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #13 03-17-2002, 07:25 PM

Chapter 3 : We need Alf

Ok xavier we are in Scarbinia there are like 50,000 scrabs here so we have to act quickly. Ok said Xavier. But slig valet i herd there is a place called ''Alf Rehab And Tea'' some where here. There are to managers there Alf and parimitabe. If we can find them we might have a chance to get food and shelter. Maybe we also can get out of Scrabina. Ok said slig valet. You know what direction we should go. Hey look there is a sign there saying go east. Ok lets go that way said Xavier. Hey valet you here that sound? Oh yes i do said slig valet it sounds like marching SCRABS!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE SCREAMED SLIG VALET!!! Hey look there are two elums right there wanna ride them said Xavier?Ok said Valet hop on. Ok lets go baby said Xavier. Oh my god look behind us there are scrabs we are gonna DIE SCREAMED VALET!! RELAX SAID XAVIER THINK POSITIVE AND SHUTUP JUST KEEP RIDING. OK THERE'S ALF REHAB AND TEA HURRY THERE'S A SWITCH CLICK ON IT OK SAID VALET. WE ARE FINALLY HERE. Oh thank god that was over lets go to the rehab place soo we can relax said xavier. Ok tommorow we'll meet parimtabe and Alf.

paramiteabe · #14 03-18-2002, 01:23 AM

Very cool I like how you are useing members as characters in your story. Thats pretty original. Thats great. Um I got your pm and I will see what I can do. I am going to draw anouther picture of Blarg because the first is not as good as I want it to be so I will draw up one and send you one when I get finnished drawing him. Ok? Also if anybody else wants to see Blarg and what he looks like just give me an e-mail address and I will see what I can do. I hope I can send pictures through e-mail. I never done that so I will keep my fingers cross and hope for the best.
Paramiteabe

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #15 03-18-2002, 05:22 PM

umm ok you got my pm sooo good luck and my next chapter will be here soon

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #16 03-18-2002, 10:28 PM

chapter 4: we lost XAVIER

Ok Xavier were here at Alf Rehab And Tea. Xavier are you here said valet?? Yum Yum said the scrab he's sooo yummy. Oh no Xavier has been eaten bye scrab

Stupid scrab your dumb. No im not i was really hungry and i still am so i will eat you.

So you cant eat me i have a knife. Oh really then show it said the Scrab. Its right here cha-ching now im gonna chop you up little scrab. Ahhhhhhhhhhh run for my life screamed the scrab!!!!!

Stupid scrab said Valet. But poor Xavier oh well at least he is in a better place now sniff-sniff. But let me go to ''Alf rehab and tea'' to get some food. Hey whatsup Alf how ya doin oh im doin fine we got a new waitress. Whats his name said Valet? His name is parimiteabe said Alf. He's also here to help you with your journey.
Oh thats great!! I always like to have new partners. Were is he dough?? Oh i forgot to tell he is sick today he should be here tomorrow. Why don't you rest here tonight plus there will be a party for parimiteabe its his birthday. Oh thats great said slig valet. Ok want some tea?? No thanx Alf. How about some beer? No thx alf. How about alcohole? No thx Alf and that is finally!!!Ok said alf but now take some rest thank you.

paramiteabe · #17 03-18-2002, 11:39 PM

Interesting. I like it. I can't wait to find out what happens to me. 41 chapters ha? Wow! hehe!

:

Paramiteabe says: THE SECRET TO SUCCESS IS.....OPPS OUT ROOM!

***Xavier*** · #18 03-19-2002, 02:39 PM

glups...
I'm death...

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #19 03-19-2002, 07:21 PM

chapter 5:My new partner

Oh boy was that a great party for paimiteabe. And i get to meet him today im so excited.

Ok said slig valet gotta go brush my teeth. Oh slig valet screamed Alf guess who's here your new partner. Be right there Alf said Valet. Here parimiteabe go upstairs
to valet and say hi while i go to the supermarket and get some food. Ok alf see you later bye. Bye said Alf. march-march-march valet came down the stairs. Hello said parimiteabe in a nice way i really wanted to meet you. Yeah me to said Valet. I herd about your other partner Xavier where is he? You dont wanna know said Valet. Ok then i just wanted to tell ya there's a railroad there and a Feeco.Train comes here. And munch lives with Abe on OddStreet. Oh i really need that thanks for telling me that can we go there because i want to get enough mudokons to take over RuptureFarms. Thats ever mudokons dream said parimiteabe but to ride the train cost alot of money$$$. Yeah i know said slig valet it costs like 5,000 bucks. Well none of us have that much money but i know 1 way to get enough money. Wait said Valet? We can steel from a glukkon but it aint gonna be easy. There's ane neighbor of mine his name is ''Al The Vyker'' he a nice mate lets go to him and ask if he can help us said parimiteabe said. Ok said slig valet great idea. Follow me said parimiteabe''LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa'' ok were here let me ask him. Hey ''Al The Vyker'' wanna help us with our journey? What kind of journey asked Al?? A journey to stop RuptureFarms. Oh sure i would love to because i hate Glukkons.

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #20 03-19-2002, 07:24 PM

and ummmm plzzz read this its a important chapter

paramiteabe · #21 03-19-2002, 07:44 PM

Intresting. I wounder what kind of adventure it's going to be. Very cool! Can I give an idea. What if we were to meet say Munch or Abe or maybe even Squeek?

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #22 03-19-2002, 08:30 PM

yeah squeek will be a mystery at the last chapter he said these words ''your next adventure will be here soon'' but abe munch parimiteabe and slig valet dont know that squeek said that. opps i gave it away.

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #23 03-19-2002, 08:47 PM

CHAPTER 6: GLUKKON PAY BACK

Ok said slig valet were here at LuLu's house. LuLu's house said parimiteabe you mean LuLu's castle. Ok who cares lets just get in and take the money i really wanna see Abe and Munch said slig valet. Hey were's ''Al The Vyker'' asked parimiteabe? He should be here bye now. Lets go without him ok said slig valet? Ok said parimiteabe. Know did you bring your laptop soo we can break the code of LuLu's safe that has all the money? Yep i do ok since LuLu is asleep we have to be quiet now walk carefully said slig valet. Oh look right there its a mudokon slave said parimiteabe! Ok said valet ill have your laptop you free the slave ok? Sure answered parimiteabe. Ok wait right there slave ok im here were's the key to unlock the door asked parimiteabe?? On the shelf answered the slave. Ok i got em' ca-ching its opened. Oh thank oh thank you. Its a honor said parimiteabe whats your name? My name is Blarg whats yours asked Blarg. Mine is parimiteabe. Hi parimiteabe we gotta get out of here fast. Ok just wait a sec. Ok cool said slig valet i opened the safe wow!!!1 million dollars im taking it.

Ok run said valet run!!Ok we can go now said parimiteabe to Blarg. Alright we made in piece and we saved a mudokon whats your name asked slig valet? My name is Blarg whats your name? My name is slig valet you can call me valet if you want. Ok replyed blarg wanna come to my place for the night even dough its 56 years old. No thanks said slig valet. Lets just go to Alf rehab and tea. Ok sure said Blarg and soon ODDWORLD might be its self again.

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #24 03-19-2002, 11:32 PM

ill also try to put Dark Xinos and Shryskullmaster in this story

paramiteabe · #25 03-20-2002, 12:15 AM

Hey I was just woundering. Did you get my e-mail yet? It has a picture of Blarg attached to it. I sent it the other day.

Anyway I like this chapter. Can I give you my ideas on Blarg since he is my first character I made up?

There is a certain way he talks that makes him Blarg. Remember he is not a Mudokin and he is the only creature of his kind. He has multiable powers. He can telepathically talk to others through their dreams and he can hover like a humming bird. He is usually found hanging around in a cave in a deep deasert canyon. Plus he has the ability to create natural objects that can appear in mid air like water, wind, a land slide, fire etc. He is the first creature ever to be born on Oddworld and consider him to be Oddworld himself in the form of a creature. There is an black bowling ball size orb that is usually with him to give advice to the most lowest lifeforms of Oddworld. That is called The Lost profacy. And most important if he were to die all of Oddworld will die as well. He is a pretty odd and special creature that I have created but that is my description of Blarg

~MuDoKoN~hAwKEr · #26 03-20-2002, 05:20 PM

i found your picture its great you gave me 1 good idea!!!!

Al the Vykker · #27 03-20-2002, 07:12 PM

Bows down

Thank you for includingg me! Great story so far keep it up!