any 1 have any good jokes?

[Oddworld Master]

the jokes and pranks are getting really lame at my school and we need some major cheering up. do you guys have any good jokes or pranks? i would really appreciate it!

[DarkHoodness]

Okay, here's one for us here at OF:

What do you get if you cross Barbie with Ken?

See if you can guess.
- DH

[Gluk Schmuck]

I have a good prank...

Find some old electrical flex, put it in a loop shape then put around someone's neck. Next you pull it as tight as you can until their body goes limp and they stop struggling.
Then you go to the nearest teacher and tell them that the person tried to kill you so you killed them.

That prank's a really good one, the prankee will die with laughter!


To DH: lol, that's a really good joke, I like it!

[ January 16, 2002: Message edited by: Gluk Schmuck ]

[Oddworld Master]

i was thinking of a prank that didn't hurt or kill any 1 lol nice prank and i have no clue dark hood what you get when you cross barbie and ken?

[ January 16, 2002: Message edited by: Oddworld Master ]

[•[cyrus]•]

sorry wrong topic......

Mudokon101......

[ January 19, 2002: Message edited by: Mudokon101 ]

[Alector]

A mother searches for her child that is lost on a big airport. She wents to the information desk and want that the woman calls out the description of the little child.

"Attention, Attention: A mother searches for the little Julia! Little Julia is 189 cm tall and weights 180 kg. Please come to the information desk if you should find little Julia"

[ January 16, 2002: Message edited by: Alector ]

[DarkHoodness]

What do you get if you cross Barbie with Ken?

I'll wait for a few more peeps to try and awnswer this one.
- DH

[Joe the Intern]

DH, are you sure someone should answer that?

[•[cyrus]•]

Originally posted by Dark Hood:
Okay, here's one for us here at OF:

What do you get if you cross Barbie with Ken?

See if you can guess.
- DH

A WHOLE LITTER!!!!!


Mudokon101... PS: I ain't no peep if you're gonna say that

[mitsur]

A friend told me this joke and it cracked me up.


Sometimes Mexicans are called beaners.

What do you call Mexicans in a pool?
I will tell you after 3 try but get it wrong.

[DarkHoodness]

Alright, I know I'm gonna get seruiously killed by a few people on here for syaing this, but oh well.

What do you get if you cross Barbie with Ken?
Steel Shark! And if you don't belive me, check out his pic in this months Fan of the Month! Looks like Ken (from Barbie) with long blond hair.
- DH

[glukkon_daniel]

Oh my God, I just heard the MEANEST joke EVER. But I will not tell it. It's not even that funny, it's just very shocking.

Yo momma so dumb, she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico.

You're so ugly, at birth your parents named you "Shit Happens."

Yo momma so hairy, you almost died of carpet burns when you were born.

Yo momma so old, I told her to act her age and she died!

Yo momma so old and fat, when God said, "Let there be light", he asked her to move out of the way.

Yo momma so fat, I had to take two trains and a bus to get on her good side.

Yo momma so ugly, she stuck her head out of a car window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so stupid, she tried to commit suicide by jumping out of a basement window.

Yo momma so stupid that she tries to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.

I have a bunch more yo momma jokes, but that's all for now.

[Alector]

I really dislike such "momma jokes". They're just insults for my ears. When someone would tell me such a joke in my face, I would forget myself!

How could someone make jokes about mothers, the most important persons in one's life? I just don't understand your problem, Daniel Brown.

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

Here's a good joke:

At age 4, a success is... not peeing in your pants
At age 12, a success is... having friends
At age 16, success is... getting a driver's license
At age 20, success is... having sex
At age 30, success is... having tons of money
At age 40, success is... having tons of money
At age 50, success is... having sex
At age 60, success is... getting a driver's license
At age 70, a success is... having friends
At age 80, a success is... not peeing in your pants

[Gluk Schmuck]

That joke doesn't apply here, Anna, pretty good though!

Yo momma's so fat she's the latest target for crazy people who think they like Osama Bin Laden!

[glukkon_daniel]

*sigh* Alector, Alector, Alector. You can't seem to get past the fact that they're just JOKES, can you?

[Oddworld Master]

the fat momma jokes are a bit much but well..i dunno any 1 got a joke other then fat momma jokes?

[Joe the Intern]

Ok. This one is about Mc.Donald's being a front for the mofia. A large limousine parks outside a small town Mc.Donald's store. A man in a suit walks in, and talks to a cashier.
"I need to talk to Mc.D" says the man.
"Sir, there is no 'Mc.D' here." says the cashier.
"Well, then who is the guy outside?"
"What guy, sir?"
"Nevermind. Just tell Mc.D, that the duck needs to fly before the Mayo runs over Tokyo" answers the man.
"Sir, I don't understand what you are talking about" responds the cashier.
"Just tell it to the guy outside!"
"What guy!?!"
"You know! The guy with the big red hair, and the clown shoes?"
"Sir, that is our mascot, Ronald Mc.Donald. He's not real." said the cashier.
"Then why does he talk to me?"
"Because the Drive-through speaker is in his mouth."

[mitsur]

Heres the awneser to mine:


Bean Dip

[Steve the Gabbit]

here's a few jokes for ya's
2 bay seals walk into a club

2 guys walk into a bar. it hurt

how do you kill a blond? put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

[Alector]

Originally posted by Daniel Brown:
*sigh* Alector, Alector, Alector. You can't seem to get past the fact that they're just JOKES, can you?

*sigh* Daniel Brown, Daniel Brown, Daniel Brown. I can't see such "jokes" as jokes. Those are just rude sayings. I think you don't really know how to use such jokes because they are just insulting!
If you don't understand that I hate these jokes, you aren't better than those people who've made them up!

[•[cyrus]•]

At school when the stonger and older kids make fun of me withj those jokes I feel like !$#%$%#@$^%##!#%&&(**%#^**%#%^%%#&-ing them the H**l up!


Mudokon101...

[Silversnow]

Bimbos (instead of blond girls) can't write eleven since they don't know which of the 1:s comes first.

What's the difference between you and a hippo? None.

Well, I liked them when I heard them.

[Oddchick Lisa]

Originally posted by Oddworld Master:
the jokes and pranks are getting really lame at my school and we need some major cheering up. do you guys have any good jokes or pranks? i would really appreciate it!

[MunchOnThis]

Originally posted by Dark Hood
Okay, here's one for us here at OF:

What do you get if you cross Barbie with Ken?

See if you can guess.
- DH

Shellys!

[Statikk HDM]

Three guys are in a boat fishing in the heart of the jungle. It's getting alittle slow so one of 'em says" You guys ever hear of the fu bird? If it shits on you you can't whipe the dookey off yah for 13 days, etherwise you turn to stone for 13 days. They are orange and red with white polka dots, and if you dare one to dump on you he most certainly will" One doesn't believe it so he says bring it on fu bird. the bird does the dirty deed and the man whipes it off and turns to stone. One is in disbelief and the other just smiles and says"I guess that goes to show yah, if the fu shits, wear it!"

[Teal]

Uhhh, right. I'm guessing that was a spoonerism of "if the shoe fits"...