Actual Answers Given...

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

...by contestants on the game show Family Feud (known as Family Fortunes in the UK):


Name something a blind person might use - A sword

Name a song with moon in the title - Blue suede moon

Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell

Name an occupation where you need a torch - A burglar

Name a dangerous race - The Arabs

Name an item of clothing worn by the 3 musketeers - A horse

Name something that floats in the bath - Water

Name something you wear on the beach - A deckchair

Name something Red - My cardigan

Name a famous cowboy - Buck Rogers

A number you have to memorize - 7

Something you do before going to bed - Sleep

Something you put on walls - Roofs

Something in the garden that's green - Shed

Something that flies that doesn't have an engine - A bicycle with wings

Something you might be allergic to - Skiing

Name a famous bridge - The bridge over troubled waters

Something you do in the bathroom - Decorate

Name an animal you might see at the zoo - A dog

Something associated with the police - Pigs

A sign of the zodiac - April

Something slippery - A con-man

A food that can be brown or white - Potato

A jacket potato topping - Jam

A famous Scotsman - Jock

Another famous Scotsman - Vinnie Jones

Something with a hole in it - Window

A non living object with legs - Plant

A domestic animal - Leopard

A part of the body beginning with 'N' - Knee

A way of cooking fish - Cod

Something you open other than a door - Your bowels

[•[cyrus]•]

Name something a blind person might use - a cane

Name a song with moon in the title - Blue suede moon

Name a bird with a long neck - Ostrige

Name an occupation where you need a torch - olimpic torch runner

Name a dangerous race - The Arabs

Name an item of clothing worn by the 3 musketeers - a sachel belt

Name something that floats in the bath - Bath-Bubbles

Name something you wear on the beach - a bakini (not me )

Name something Red - a pure apple

Name a famous cowboy - Buck Rogers

A number you have to memorize - 7

Something you do before going to bed - shower

Something you put on walls - wallpaper

Something in the garden that's green - weeds

Something that flies that doesn't have an engine - a bird

Something you might be allergic to - cats

Name a famous bridge - The bridge over troubled waters

Something you do in the bathroom - S**T

Name an animal you might see at the zoo - A Gorilla

Something associated with the police - dogs

A sign of the zodiac - the RAT

Something slippery - soap

A food that can be brown or white - Potato

A jacket potato topping - Jam

A famous Scotsman - Jock

Another famous Scotsman - Vinnie Jones

Something with a hole in it - Window (open)

A non living object with legs - desk

A domestic animal - Leopard

A part of the body beginning with 'N' - Knee

A way of cooking fish - Fry'em

Something you open other than a door - your jewlrey box

Mudokon101...

[ January 04, 2002: Message edited by: Mudokon101 ]

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

Erm, I'm not sure you understood the point of this topic. It's just for a laugh; it shows that no matter how stupid you think you are, there's always someone stupider. I wasn't expecting you to rewrite the answers.

[Wil]

When it comes to real life, however, everyone can be affected by the disease of simpleness. For example, guess who it was that wrote 'Queen Victoria was the longest monarch' in an important exam.

[ January 05, 2002: Message edited by: Max the Mug ]

[Gluk Schmuck]

Longest monarch?
Oh dear, oh dear!

Guess who wrote about half an A4 page in total in each of their mock English exams and ended up with an F+ and a G+ in Language and Literature respectively and will probably do something similar in the real exams.

[SeaRex]

What's wrong with the potato answer?

[Wil]

I was just a-listening to the radio, and I heard actual answers written by a child on their test. I can't remember all of them, but I'll give it a go.

What is puberty?
Puberty is when you say goodbye to your boy and start looking forward to your adultry.

What does 'benign' mean?
It's what you are after being beeight.

Darn it! That's all I can remember. There must have been a dozen, and I can't think...what...they...were.

Still, I know where to come if I remember. And I know it doesn't really follow the topic entirely, but an English teaching professor wrote on his blackboard (why hasn't he got a whiteboard yet?): 'Woman without her man is nothing'.

His students told him to punctuate it properly, but he knew it was a proper sentance the way it was, so he gave the chalk to a student to correct it.

The student added two commas, making it:
'Woman, without her, man in nothing'.

[Steve]

any way you punctuate that it seems sexist and thats why I don't punctuate then people can take it any way the want it and everyone is happy.