ARGH! It's time for an outbreak of rage!

[UnseenProphet]

Alright, many of you may have played "American McGee's Alice." It's a story about Alice (the girl who goes to Wonderland) going to an apocalyptic and twisted version of her childhood adventure where she confronts deadly and gruesome monsters. Recently I heard they were making a movie based off it. The first thought was "Damn! Hollywood's just going to butcher it into bullsh*t..." Well, guess what? More information was just released and I was right!

First off, the director is Wes Craven. For godsakes! Wes Craven is a horrible director who couldn't direct his way out of a paper bag! None of his movies were ever slightly frightening and his most recent film (Dracula 2000) was complete and utter crap.

Second off, the screenwriter for the flick is John August - who wrote Go! and Charlie's Angels. Um, excuse me this is a horror film...supposed to be scary - oh, sorry just remembered - Wes Craven is directing!

Third off, Natalie Portman is playing Alice - Princess FREAKIN' Amadala from the Phantom Menace is playing Alice! She doesn't even have Alice's accent nor tone of voice!

Alright, so here's what I think the movie will turn out to be...

First off, Alice is replaced by an eighteen year old teenager with size 36 D cup breasts who is, for reasons unknown, wearing a bikini for the entire movie! She is now able to use Matrix-like moves to outwit her enemies while her breasts bounce around like crazy. At the end of the movie, when Alice is confronted by the Queen of Hearts, she is scared to death (even though Natalie here doesn't even react right - looks more like she's constipated) and saved by some teenage guy with a gun who looks like he's from Dawson's Creek. He shoots the Queen to death and they live together in a small apartment at the end of the movie in which we see the Queen of Hearts watching Alice from a mirror. Gasp! Could there be a sequel!?

Come on, people - this is the equivalent of having Tipper Gore and Joe Liberman work together to make a Max Payne movie...

Do you know how I would do the Alice movie?

First off, the director is Clive Barker. That's right - Hellraiser Barker. True freaky sh*t here.

Second off, the writers are consisted of those that worked on John Carpenter's The Thing.

Any opinions guys?

- UnseenProphet

[Wolfpac]

Yep, Wait for it to come out before you bag the shit out of it. Anyway, what's wrong with Freddy??? That's fairly scary. Yes the won't stick to the storyline of the game, but what Game-remade-into-Movie dose. Super Mario Brothers was nothing like the game . And your prospective of it wouldn't even be close to a Movie. (Tomb Raider Game Yes ) And chances are this is just a Rumour, just like the Ever Long Freddy Vs. Jason Movie.

If your right, I'll give you a Gold Star, if not, I can say I told you so.

[LuxoJr]

Damn straight. American McGee's Alice was a greasy bag of turd to begin with...the enemies were stupid, the weapons terrible and the jumping puzzles eternal.

It still stands as the first artsy-fartsy game ever. American McGee my ass...using Dodgson's ideas to create a mediocre game should have been bad enough - but then to start making a movie? Ick.

Making the film as goddamned pretentious as 'Lewis Carrol's Doom' would be worse than Portman jiggling around for 90 minutes wielding a croquet mallet. Somebody find both American McGee and Wes Craven so we can bleed them to death with papercuts from John August's screenplay if they actually make this film.

[Anny]

Heeeeeeey I was gonna buy that game but my mum said nooooooo Anna ya cant(She always does that she even stoped me from playing on abes Exodus)She says that stuffs to grusome.

[UnseenProphet]

Heh, my parents are the exact opposite, Petrified Paramite...

Me: Hey, Mom. Did you mind if I purchase this game?
Mom: Sure, what's the premise?
Me: You go around shooting and killing online players for points.
Mom: Okay dokey. Have fun.

*chuckles*

I love my parents. They're great. They're nice and will usually allow me to do as I wish as long as I keep my grades high (as I always do) and don't handle out the bullsh*t. We all get along well in my household.