is that a good comment or bad?

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six (continued)
"Damn, Iv'e failed,"Rein said before running as fast as he could. He had to find some sort of light source, Of course, his torch! He quickly pulled it from his belt and clicked the switch, pointing it at the shadows. They dissapeared with a pop of light, but it was hard, Rein had to concentrate the beam on one of them for about a minute, all the while his battery was dying and the shadows were getting closer...
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"Bigface? No! we have to go and get Rein!" Screamed Abe.
"No Abe, forget about him, he is... for the shadows, you cant help him now."
"No! he was my friend!"
"No Abe, he was a slave to the glukkons." Explained bigface.
"No he wasnt, he was one of my best friends! now he's dead!"
"no, it is a lie abe, you have all the right pieces, you just have them in the wrong order, they will fall together in the end abe."
"What do you mean?" Asked Abe.
"you'll find out soon enough abe."
It was only then Abe realised his foot was better and that he was walking.
"Hey... i'm walking."
"Oh now you notice? Yeah i did that, lets say if i didnt you'd be dead too."
"Thanks, now i can go and rescue Rein".
"no do i have to spell it out for you? He's dead! and even if he isnt his job was only to keep you alive and he's suceeded,"
"How do you know all this?" Asked Abe.
"oh i have my ways Abe, i have my ways..."
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350 years later
"hey lets send a messsage to that old shaman and tell him what we're doing!"
"Yeah!"
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"Anyway i'm going to rescue Rein,"
"Dont you ever listen?, well if you'r going to go on this pointless journey then you cant go alone..."
"Well then come on then!" said Abe
"Oh no not me i'm too old" Laughed BigFace.
"No, how about five young fully trained MudArchers?".......
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how was that? oh and let me just clear the air here, i bet some of you are thinking i took the name Rein from Reint Off amarment reloaded, well i actually thought if it while watching friends, it took the Rien off it and swapped the i and e.