Write a letter to yourself in the past!

[Mac Sirloin]

I'm copy and pasting mine from somewhere, hence all the toy related stuff.
Dear Simon of...1999? Sure.
I'm writing to you from the future. THE FUTURE.
Don't get into Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, or Digimon TCG's. Trust me, they're a HUGE waste of your time and you'll get them stolen from you and just generally make you miserable. Be careful with your Transformers, ESPECIALLY tigerhawk, and don't take him to school or on your paper-route-you'll break him.

Get into the Energon, Armada and Cybertron toyline. Don't go crazy, but I'd appreciate all those gimmicks right about now.

Get some exercise. It's worth it.

Don't take dad too seriously. Him and Mom separate in ten years, so try to be patient.

In 2006, he gets a motorcycle, do not touch it. Ever. Regardless of your intentions. If you clean the window on it while hiding out from school the bastard will knock one of your teeth out and make you go crazy for a little while.

Don't steal. Please. Except for Legends TF Movie 1 Bonecrusher and Brawl. Also don't break Jillian's BM Blackarachnia. That was a dick move and it was a good toy. Take care of the McDonalds Tankor, as it is amazing. Try to get the Tankor toy and one of his toys. Don't bring Jetstorm onto that ride at the waterfront festival, he breaks and you look stupid.


GET TO IT

[MA]

Dear Stevie of 2005.

its me, or you, writing from the future. flying cars are the shit.

school will be done in a year so stop stressing. try hard in English, it'll be worth it, and you'll eventually get a decent teacher for it. also, answer the right fucking question in the final GCSE this time, dick. fuck around in French. its terrible and you wont need it ever, no one else in your class will care anyway so it's not like you'll be ruining everyone else's chances.

you'll get found out about the smoking in a couple of months and get a major hiding from your step father, so worry about that. you shouldn't have started in the first place, but you wont touch one again. now, a lot of shit is going to happen when you turn 16, you'll start work on a farm for a boss who is an unfair muppet, but the herdsman will become a good friend, and so will the ginger bloke with learning difficulties.

during your time there you're going to end up having a scuffle with an employee. ride it out, and don't get petty. tell your mother a cow kicked you in the face, she'll believe you. you'll have a works do at the pub at Christmas also, but your Christmas bonus will get stolen from your bag if you go into the chippy on the way home, SO DON'T GO IN THERE. by the way, you will complete your college course.

you'll leave in September where you'll work on the south coast, and you'll join a fucked up forum. it's alright, and you'll finally work out the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. you'll move again and once you hit 18 you going to go through the worst shit. you'll lose your girlfriend, you'll quit your job (you'll have to move back in with your parents), your dog will die, and 2 more things will happen. i wont put them here otherwise you wont concentrate on your exams. i told you it'd be shit.

after that, a lot of good things will happen, like new mates and business ventures (go tits up but who cares), you'll go through 5 different jobs before you settle on one. then it's all good my friend.

[Disgruntled Intern]

Dear Davie of five months ago,

Get a fucking vasectomy.

[MeechMunchie]

Dear Albie of pastland,

If you have a bad feeling about something, go with the bad feeling. If you think of something funny or useful or witty or whatever, WRITE IT DOWN. Make more of an effort to get into sports. Don't pick your nose. Don't talk to yourself. Start learning to play music NOW, not in a few years. Don't pick to Adrian as your Russian partner. Get in shape. You'll need to be able to fight. Don't waste £8 on a Tamagotchi. Pay more attention to youth culture, don't end up alienated. Don't bottle up your emotions. Try to improve your memory. You didn't last time, and now I can't remember all the things I ought to put in this letter.

[Bullet Magnet]

Marcus.

They swapped the green and blue wires.

[OANST]

Dear Mat,

Just keep being awesome. It all works out.

[Wings of Fire]

Dear Joe of 2002

Hey, it's me. And by me I mean you, awesome huh? Stop stressing about how bad your hair looks at the moment man, I mean it is pretty awful but you'll grow into long hair eventually, just have it short until you're sixteen and it'll all turn alright (It goes blonde again at eighteen, pretty fucking awesome eh?). I know things are going pretty bad at the moment, and yeah they do get worse, but then they get better, then worse, then better and then they kind of even out. But you do get super intelligent, grow up to not be a douche and overall get into a position where you can laugh mercilessly at those who torment you now (Two words: Credit Crunch). Also watch some Taggart and brush up on that Scottish dialect. Trust me on this.

Just sit tight, be there for your family (Your brother's going to really need you bad in a few years) and good things will start to come to you. Also you're right, Valentines is a retarded holiday and only dumb shits ever plan anything on that day.

PS: Beware of the Welsh.

Yours creepily, Joseph Doubtfire.

[Josh]

Dear Past Josh,

Would you please not get into Yu-Gi-Oh. You will regret it. Don't talk to people that annoy you, they will just get worse. Get some upper body strength, you will need it. If somebody trys to hurt you, no more pacifist crap, kick em' in the balls/shins/face. Ninjas ARE better than pirates, this is vital. Pay attention in french class, when you go to France, it will be useful. Fianally, don't grow your hair, it DOES look weird and does not suit you.

PS: You will punch your Dad in the face and break his nose the week before you go to France. He is an evil rat-bastard and actually hates you. However, he has money and Left 4 Dead is a game you will want. Zombies and explosions are cool, milk the cow untill you find that stuff on his hard-drive, then punch him and go to France.

[shaman]

Dear Tom of the past.

I am you from the year 2009, i have decided to write a letter to the past to pass on some hard - earned wisdom.

First: Fucking stay away from the people you're hanging round with at the moment, you know who i'm talking about. They're fucking idiots who will land you in trouble.

secondly: Go for a walk every now and then.

Thirdly: In the year 2002, avoid tinned fish, you cut your thumb wide open on one and that warrents you three hours waiting in the hospital.

And lastly: Learn to play guitar. I want to be a rock god.

Yours faithfully.

Thomas Brown of 2009.

PS: The bird bites.

[used:)]

MA's name is 'Stevie'? Now that would blow my mind.

Dear Gabe of 1999,

Loosen up and don't worry about the others. It's normal if they bother you, but just don't worry about that. Their mouths are full of shit. Anything you love is worth the attention you give it. Don't stop taking piano lessons and start learning a couple more instruments like a string and a wind. Tack on some Spanish if you can. You'll need it. High school Spanish won't get the job done.

Yours truly,

You

[Sekto Springs]

Dear Chris,

All things happen for a reason, and if I were to tell you to do anything differently I wouldn't be the person I am today and I probably wouldn't be writing this letter. Stay the course, even if it's painful.

You

[OddjobAbe]

Dear Sam,
For the sake of God, do not ever publish a letter directed at yourself in the past on the internet as an excuse to get all of your regrets of your chest. It will get you nowhere.

This is why I wish I trusted myself more often.

[Strike Witch]

DON'T PUT YOUR REPORT CARD UNDER THE BED YOU DUMB BITCH IT'S THE FIRST PLACE THEY LOOK

[Nate]

DON'T PUT YOUR REPORT CARD UNDER THE BED YOU DUMB BITCH IT'S THE FIRST PLACE THEY LOOK

I always used to hide it in the middle of the biggest book on the shelf in my bedroom. I suspect there might still be a year 10 progress report concealed in my atlas that I won't find until the next time I'm curious about Nicaragua.

[Alcar]

Peter,

You really should have murdered your sister over that Charizard card.

Alcar...

[abe619]

dear me 2004
don't keep ur friend ship with these 2 , just forget about them and u'll be happy in no time ,
also don't worry in 2005 you'll finally get a ps2 , only to get bored of it in 2008 , then u'll be trapped between a high-end pc , a ps3 , or a wii , which until now (sat oct 24 09 , 6:14 PM) u finally agree to buy a Wii and don't take a private lesson with that damn teacher after the other one leaves the school , take with one of the remaining 2 , don't fight alot with moodi , don't admire that girl with you in class 07 , feel numb and empty , don't try to fight those damn people u hate , just get numb and don't feel them , don't discuss keeping the pc in ur room just agree with mom and move it to the other room already , watch more afv on youtube and u'll keep rofl-ing to death , don't join those 2 forums and stick to owf , mks.net and finally mkno.com , be more active on facebook , remove winxp install ubuntu linux which by your time should be 8.04(Hardy Heron) don't post that on owf and listen to numb by linkin park u'll like it.

[OddjobAbe]

It's a shame about your bike.

[moxco]

Hey Me it’s me/you from the future! Now, read the following very carefully… On New Years Eve (2006) you’ll go to a party, stay their all night and before you know it, it’ll be 2007 when you arrive home from this party, early in the morning, you decide to join Oddworld Forums.

GO STRAIGHT TO BED! DO NOT JOIN EVER! If you don’t join these forums then I will never write this letter, but without the letter being wrote you won’t know not to join the forums, etc.

This will cause a time paradox which will most defiantly result in the universe imploding and then I’ll be like “Haha” to Osama Bin Laden. “Your stupid world-trade-center-kamikazes didn’t do shit compared to my universal implosion! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

[Leto]

Dear Leto,

Keep it real champ. You're awesome. Everything's going fine, you're getting yo dick sucked and that's not going to change.

x