The Never Ending Story

OANST · #1 01-02-2009, 10:20 AM

Yes, I'm bringing it back. And believe it or not, it has been three years since we last did this game. Therefor, I believe it is time.

OP writes a sentence and then half of another. Next poster finishes that sentence and then writes half of another. It continues from there.

A Plea: Please try to keep Oddworld characters out of it. The game gets extremely tedious when people start trying to bring their favorite characters to life in it. This isn't a fanfic. It's just supposed to be funny.

We begin:

It was a day like most. There was a sun. It shone. But there was also an unsettling feeling in the back of Steve's mind that told him........

Daxter King · #2 01-02-2009, 10:24 AM

to pull out. Did he remember to....

Wings of Fire · #3 01-02-2009, 10:36 AM

Put the condom on? Only one way to be sure...

OANST · #4 01-02-2009, 10:38 AM

...of this. He yanked the watermelon off of himself and...

Kimon · #5 01-02-2009, 11:35 AM

...watched in horror as his seedless, unborn child poured out through the broken rind. Wide eyed, he...

Leto · #6 01-02-2009, 11:38 AM

...slowly began to caress his offspring, down by the fire. The child brought it upon himself to...

Zerox · #7 01-02-2009, 01:45 PM

...tell his father he was hobosexual. In Steve's rage at this...

OANST · #8 01-02-2009, 01:47 PM

....clearly demonic use of language by a creature so young, he tore his own throat out in a fit. Luckily, his life partner Sven has seen some medical films and quickly.....

OddjobAbe · #9 01-02-2009, 01:50 PM

..duct taped the throat back together. Steve was distraught by this recent...

mitsur · #10 01-02-2009, 04:51 PM

...mental breakdown and became so unsure of himself that he grasped Sven for comfort and support. Sven returned the embrace and slowly rubbed his hand across Steve's....

Wings of Fire · #11 01-02-2009, 04:57 PM

...testicles, sensing that something was amiss with his exceedingly well endowed life partner. Steve, after finally regaining control of his mouth began to tell Sven that...

Pilot · #12 01-02-2009, 05:09 PM

...he had previously invited that handsome cable guy to come back this evening when he'd been there earlier to make a repair to a wall jack, and graciously accepted the offer. Only minutes to the appointed time, Steve and Sven jumped to attention as...

OANST · #13 01-03-2009, 07:16 AM

...the garbage disposal began to gurgle. Both frightened and excited by the strange sounds being emitted by their drain, the couple...

Jordan · #14 01-03-2009, 07:31 AM

...began to have violent and uncontrollable sex due to the brilliant rush their pipeage seemed to give them. A loud SPLAT told them that...

OANST · #15 01-03-2009, 07:46 AM

...the cableman had arrived. Upon walking in and discovering the terrible things that they were doing to each other in their ecstasy, he had dropped his tools on their cat, Spangy. Spangy's tail....

mitsur · #16 01-03-2009, 08:38 AM

...was crushed beneath a heavy monkeywrench. Spangy's cries of pain were loud enough that...

shaman · #17 01-03-2009, 09:28 AM

all the windows within a three mile radius exploded. "oh dear" said paul, it seems that...

OANST · #18 01-03-2009, 09:36 AM

...my ears are bleeding". After this pronouncement Steve, Sven, and the cable guy jumped on Paul and stabbed him to death. Since none of them knew who the fuck Paul was it had been a terrible surprise finding him in their home. As soon as they...

Wings of Fire · #19 01-03-2009, 09:39 AM

...finished scrubbing themselves off in Steve's shower Sven dropped the soap. 'Fuck me' Sven profaned loudly and bent down to reach for it as...

shaman · #20 01-03-2009, 10:05 AM

Thousands of korean rockets poured over the horizon.

"shit" said sven. This must be because of...

Daxter King · #21 01-03-2009, 04:35 PM

shaman. He is ruining.....

Leto · #22 01-03-2009, 05:04 PM

...these beloved forums, to such an extent that...

mitsur · #23 01-03-2009, 05:07 PM

...my terrible grammar skills; I really have to work on putting quotations at the beginning of my sentences!" Luckiy, the Korean rockets flew harmlessly over the home and instead...

Jordan · #24 01-03-2009, 05:16 PM

...asploaded a nearby lesbian bar. Several shrieks of terror, and oddly some of delight, sounded through the house, until the cable guy decided...

Kimon · #25 01-03-2009, 05:26 PM

...to get a glass of water from the faucet. "Ahh," he remarked, satisfied, "that was satisfying." He set down his glass and smiled, knowing full well that all he needed to feel just right was...

Bullet Magnet · #26 01-03-2009, 05:48 PM

...an all-octopus didgeridoo band marching down the street outside. As luck would have it...

Wings of Fire · #27 01-03-2009, 05:53 PM

...God was in a Dali mood today. As the cable guy closed his eyes and raised his arms to better let the cacophony permeate his inner self, a large...

Havoc · #28 01-03-2009, 08:27 PM

...version of Hobo appeared to the man and said:

"Fear me not, my child, for I bring...

mitsur · #29 01-03-2009, 09:55 PM

...rapture and sweet treats to all that fornicate me." The cable guy look confused at this awkward word choice, but ignored it, instead...

Sorry for fucking up Leto's part. -rep to me for not looking at the second page.

Daxter King · #30 01-04-2009, 09:51 AM

he fapped furiously to said image of Hobo. Just before ejaculation.....