ZOMBIES

[Paramite of War]

The Question stands. A question that has plagued man since the dawn of time.

What would you do in a zombie uprising?

I've asked many people this question and I've received different answers. Personally I might go to Australia if it happens in America. So how about you guys?

[skillya_glowi]

Uhhh...I hate to break it to you, but there's no such thing as a zombie.
>.>

[Nemo]

Not true.


Anyways, it all depends on the class of the outbreak, what equipment I have, where I'm at, etc. etc.

[Nate]

http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mzombiepower.html

Oh, and... 'Hurrah for Ambi!'

[mitsur]

http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mzombiepower.html

Oh, and... 'Hurrah for Ambi!'

Indeed.

I think i'd be totally safe in a small zombie outbreak, since in the redneck town I live in now, almost everyone owns a rifle and/or huge ass knife.

But if it got serious, I'd drive over to Idaho Falls and barricade myself in the shopping plaza, since there's a home depot with tons of tools and weapons and lumber and such in it to make a suitable fortress. Plus, food areas are across the street, as is a bank, and a police department.

Wouldn't be that hard to hold them off until rescue came.(if it did)

Of course, I coul be totally wrong.

On a side note, I'm above the snowline, so I'd only have to last till winter until they froze.

I suggest you buy The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks if you would like professional defense advice.

[Nemo]

I've got that, and have reread it about 10 times.
I'm also working on getting "World War Z."

[skillyaslig]

Well,
Plan 1
I would get lots of canned food and bottled water, go to a remote loction, and barracide myself in a sturdy house with a TON of guns.
Plan 2
Say "Screw you Zombie" And go on a rampage and kill anyone I encounter and then go to the zoo and free the animals.
Plan 3
Gun to mouth and BOOM (Only if i feel too lazy to do either plan 1 or 2)
Or maybe I just yell at the newsreporter that he was telling crap and throw the remote at the T.V

[Venks]

That sucks according to that zombie site I only have a 27% chance of survival. :_(

My plan really depends on the zombies, are we talking fast intelligent zombies or the usual slow and stupid?

I'm pretty sure if I'm up against the fast ones I might as well put myself out of my misery.

If its the slow ones I'd arm myself with what ever I have at hand, either my sister's guitar or a broom, then I would walk to walmart with my book bag get some food, as many base ball bats as I can hold, and a bike.
I'd ride over to my girlfriend's house and try to convince Sharie's(my girlfriend) family to come with me.
In the mean time my step-dad would be with my actual family protecting them possibly going around killing zombies for fun.

I'd take Sharie's family to Lynnhaven mall and there we would close up the doors and lock ourselves in one of the rooms on the 2nd floor with food we find in the mall. I'd patrol the mall to make sure its truly secure, look for fellow survivors or zombies.

I'd pretty much plan to stay there until we get rescued, thats of course assuming our army can take out the zombies, but if they are slow and stupid I'm sure they can.

[Mojo]

http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mzombiepower.html

Oh, and... 'Hurrah for Ambi!'

20 points.

What would I do in a zombie outbreak? Get the nearest chainsaw, and start chopping!

[snuzi]

I'd either go to the nearest Target or gun store and load up on some goodies, just like in Dead Rising. Ah, what fun that would be.

[OddjobAbe]

But if it got serious, I'd drive over to Idaho Falls and barricade myself in the shopping plaza, since there's a home depot with tons of tools and weapons and lumber and such in it to make a suitable fortress. Plus, food areas are across the street, as is a bank, and a police department.

Wouldn't be that hard to hold them off until rescue came.(if it did)

Of course, I coul be totally wrong.

Why does your plan remind me of Dead Rising for Xbox360?

I don't believe in zombies, but if this was to happen, I don't know what I would do. I would probably panic, hide under my bed covers, whisper "This is not happening, this is not happening", then go to sleep hoping that this would all end.

Plan B: Run down to my mothers, kill my step dad (who got bitten by a zombie), get down to the pub, and we could all have a glass of beer to wait for this whole thing to blow over.
Anyone who gets the reference gets 10 points.

[snuzi]

Why does your plan remind me of Dead Rising for Xbox360?

I think that's probably what he was going for. I think it'd be awesome to fight off zombies just like in Dead Rising. Terrifying, but awesome nonetheless.

[Nemo]

Shaun of the Dead.
Now gimme me points.

[mitsur]

Da da da da daaaaaa da da dada!

174 gil found!

Huge-Ass Sword obtained!

Nemo gains 250 exp points!

Nemo has gained a level!

Nemo's hair gets even spikier!

There, a generic FF7 point system. Happy now?

And yes, I did kinda base my stuff around Dead Rising, because it was smart and practical. But I woldn't waste time taking pictures, unless I didn't have to stand right next to them to take 'em.

[SeaRex]

You would all die and become one with the undead horde.

Then again, so would I. Probably at the hands of irrational humans during the initial state of pandemonium once the outbreak surfaced. It's the living, not the dead, that you really have to look out for.

And to be honest, the average American (and I would venture to say most of "civilized" humanity) lacks the rudimentary survival skills to avoid relying on violence against his fellow man to live through such a crisis.

What I would do: head north, find a remote farm, gather food and firewood, and wait for winter. But really, it's hard to come up with any fool-proof plan for a zombie outbreak; that's why it's so fun to talk about. It's like planning the "perfect" murder: impossible to do, but entertaining nonetheless.

[skillyaslig]

I hate Zombies...I think that the worst way to die is getting eating alive. Ouch!

[Paramite of War]

I would probaly build a rather large fort in the middle of a field. It would have an underground tunnel system for emrgancy escape. I would bring survivors there also you all are invited

[snuzi]

I hate Zombies...I think that the worst way to die is getting eating alive. Ouch!

Drowning is way worse. Believe me .

[Paramite of War]

FINALLY. with some help from a fellow member. I can now finally post this hilarious video I found

[snuzi]

This belongs in the "Stupid Shit" thread.

[mitsur]

It's like planning the "perfect" murder: impossible to do, but entertaining nonetheless.

Well, you could use a piece of food, and then eat the murder weapon.

The only problem is that you can't really kill someone with a piece of bacon or toast. Perhaps a rather large watermelon.

Anyway, like SeaRex said, we'd all have a rather small chance of survivng. Multiple factors kick in, such as food, safety, weather (cold), the amount of undead, weapons, and (the most dangerous) desperate people.

These people are panicking, desperate people who are mindlessly driven for safety. If they see your safe area, they'll go nuts trying to get in even if there is no danger nearby.

Given the choice, they will probably kill you to get into your fortress. And then, they'll devour the resources in and around, then move on. They'll be worse than the zombies.

I'll post a more comprehensive analysis later, if I ever get bored.

[Nate]

This belongs in the "Stupid Shit" thread.

It's allowable if it's in context.

[Nemo]

Well, you could use a piece of food, and then eat the murder weapon.

The only problem is that you can't really kill someone with a piece of bacon or toast. Perhaps a rather large watermelon.

Actually...
Roald Dahl's "Lamb to the Slaughter" has a wife kill her husband with a frozen leg of lamb, she starts to cook it, then calls the cops. She then feeds the leg to the cops because they were nice enough to stay at the house during the night to protect her, or something like that.




Oh, spoilers.

[Paramite of War]

Anyway... What would you guys do if you were on a main road in your car and it broke down. And there was a crowd of zombies what would you do? What would you doo oo o.

[snuzi]

Easy. Search the car for blunt or sharp objects, and beat the bastards to death. Or re-death...

[Paramite of War]

I mean several hundred zombies and it hs to be your real life car. So, your driving down the road on a normal day and you take a car jack and risk dying?

[snuzi]

My survival and killing instincts would kick in and I'd be high on adrenaline, so my chances of getting out of the situation and taking a bunch of 'em out would be rather high.

What would you do? Run?

[Paramite of War]

No I also would be high on adrenaline and would push my car to safty

[snuzi]

That's an unrealistic solution. What would be the point of pushing your car to safety? Wouldn't you be more worried about your own survival rather than having your car in one piece?

[mitsur]

Anyway... What would you guys do if you were on a main road in your car and it broke down. And there was a crowd of zombies what would you do? What would you doo oo o.

Scream, panic, soil myself, try to run, and die horribly.

Hey, at least it was truthful.