My Little Fanfic

[Capri Ream]

Alright I'm going to start a story on here. You can like put your comments in any time between the story. This is my first one and it has my original chrector Capri as the Main cherector. I'll try to start this weekend. ok? bye.

[Pacen]

Why the sad face? This is good news!

However, I feel before you start, you should know it's spelt "character".
Can't wait to read it!

[Lantra]

cnat wait to here it.

[Capri Ream]

Alright this is the first post of the actual story. YAY! Oh Before I start. Thanks Pacen for telling me how to spell that, I'm just a natural at bad spelling!
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Capri was siiting at the edge of the river. Her light blue hair blowing in the winds. She couldn't believe it. She was now a Priestess Warrior at 13. The youngest warrior ever. Her friend Rok had been the youngest last month at 14.
"At least now he can't say he's a better fighter than me", she said to herself, as she drew in the soft sand beneath the water.
Suddenly she heard a small russel in the bushes.
"Who's there?!", she cried.
--------------------------------------------
Well, How is it so far? I know it's not much right now, but I'll try to add a new part every day. Ok thank you!Oh and questions, comments and flames are appreciated!

[ June 01, 2001: Message edited by: Capri ]

[Silversnow]

Very good start, Capri. As far as i can see, its great.

[Danny]

i haven't really seen enough to say how good it is yet, but there aren't any cliches or overwraught dialogue yet, so that's a good sign.

[Capri Ream]

Ok, I decided to add the seconed part today since I probley won't get to tommarrow. Oh and thanx Silversnow and Rettick For the positive reviews!
P.S the stuff between () are Capri's thoughts.
---------------------------------------------
"I said who's there?!" Capri pracctically screamed.
"Geez you don't need to blow our ears out ShortFin!"
Behind the bush, three male Watyins stood up.
"Rok!You jerk!"Capri yelled,"What makes you think you can sneak uop on me like that!"
"Well", Rok began with a smirk,"Yeek,Orv and I were going to go fising when we see this minuture blue ball and decided to throw a rock at it.We would have never guessed it was you,ShortFin"
"Yeah right!"Capri shouted, "AND DON'T CALL ME SHORTFIN!!!!!!!!I'M NOT SHORT I'M PORPORTIONATLY CHALLENGED!!!!!!!"
"Yeah whaterver.......ShortFin", Rok said as he, Yeek and Orv ran to dodge the barrage of rocks Capri was throwing at them.
"jerks..",Capri muttere under neath her breath.
She sat down at her spot drawing on the sand again.
(It's not my fault I'm short.My egg craked before I hatched. How could I countrol that? I wasn't even born yet. I had to be taken out of that egg when it craked or I would have died.And then I wouldn't had gotten to become the youngest priestess warrior.I WOULDN'T HAVE EVEN GOTTEN TO LIVE!I know that short, but I hate being called that!)
Capri threw a rock and watched it skip across the river.
(I wonder somtimes if..if I'm really geting what I want here. I mean, I want adventure and stuff and I thought becoming a priestess warrior would give me that adventure. But....but I never get to do anything. I can't hold heavy weapons because they cover my eyes and I can't aim right. And I can't get over big walls because there so high.I wish that my egg hadn't craked. Then I would have hatched on time and be as tall as everyone else and no one would call me short fin. Oh well, guess you can't help everything. I better get home before Nami gets mad and yells at me after Viewei "drags" me home)
With that Capri stood up and, pcked up her boomarang and walked on the trail home.
---------------------------------------------
I don't think that was that good but oh well.
I think I'll start charector profiles and the new charectors are introduced. So just tell me what you think. Alright?


[ June 01, 2001: Message edited by: Capri ]

[Danny]

i just noticed thatm in your first post, you said 'her light blue blowing in the wind'. did you mean to say 'her light blue hair blowing in the wind'?

[Capri Ream]

Yeah, I did mean her light blue hair, I was typing fast and must have missed that when I reread it. Thanx for telling me!!

[Lantra]

very nice capri.

[Capri Ream]

Ok I'm sorry I haven't added more in a while. Just a whole bunch of stuff for various stupid school stuff Any way I'll try to get the story moving again!Kay?
---------------------------------------------
As Capri was walking home, she kept hearing a strange little noise. She kept thinking it was Rok and continued to walk home, she'd show him she wasn't as gullible as he thought she was.
But the little noises started to sound more and more like a little whimper as she got closer to the Watyin village. Curious, Capri knelt down to a bush and looked in. There was a tiny little fuzzle sitting there whimpering.
"Have you been following me all this time?" Capri asked the trembling little ball of fur.
"Don't worry I won't hurt you",she told the fuzzle, "Are you all alone?"
The little fuzzle nodded it's little head at Capri.
"Ya wanna come home with me?"
The fuzzle nodded again.
"Alright, Come 'ere" she told the little fuzzle as she oened her arms up.
The fuzzle lept into her arms and she cuaght it almost immediatley.
"Wow, you're preety small for even a newley hatched fuzzle.I'm really small for age and species too", she told the little fuzzle,"That means we're alike. We're both tiny for what we are."
Capri started to walk down the road again to her village, she couldn't wait to show Jani,her friend/wannabe mother. Suddenley Capri stoped, the little fuzzle looked up at her.
"I just remembered, you need a name."
The fuzzle looked at her with it's big eyes.
"Well, since your small like me, you need a name that tells everyone how cool it is to be small. How about Hiki, it means 'The tiny light' and your eyes look alot like lights. So how about it, you like the name Hiki?" she looked at the fuzzle, waiting for it's approval of the name.
The fuzzle gave a happy little squeak and tried to dance in her arms.
"Alright, Hiki it is!"
The duo continued to walk down the path until they reached the village.
***
The Watyin village was a small village set at the end of a lake. The Watyin's had done thier best to hide their village from the rest of Oddworld. The Watyins had no desire to be in contact with any Oddworldian while the Glukkens were doing what they did.
Even though the Watyins were a peaceful species, they still had their own warriors. The Priest warriors were the males and the Priestess warriors, the females. The warriors main jobs were hunting for food and protecting the village, and neither was easy since few animals lived in the forest and modokens seemed to come to close for Watyin comfert. But the village hadn't had any trouble yet.
Capri walked ino the village, she always felt so out of place since evryone towered over her her. Even the 4 year olds were 6 inches taller than her. She only stood at 4 feet 3 inches. Watyin girls her age should have been at least 6 foot 3inches. So, as a result Capri got made fun of alot by fellow Watyins.
As she was walking to the village she saw Jani. She stared in a run that was faster than any cheetahs.
"JANI!!!!" she yelled,"LOOK AT AT I FOUND!!"
Jani turned around to see the tiny Watyin running twords her. Capri stoped right in front of Jani's face.
"Lookey! I found a little fuzzle! I named him Hiki,little light!" Capri showed her new fuzzle to her older friend with pride.
"Oh, he's so cute" Jani said in her soft and very loving voice as she stroked the little fuzzle.
Jani looked like any watyin girl. Long light blue hair, light blue skin, light ble eyes and fins on her ankles, her head , above her pointed ears and webbed feet and toes. She was 15 and very preety by Watyin standerds.
"But I wonder if Nami will approve of such a creature in the village, little Capriella" Jani said to her young friend.
"Who cares what Nami thinks?" Capri said in all the sarcasm she had in her (and there's alot!),"It's the High Priestess who has the final say in what I can do. And don't say my full name in public! "
Nami was a priestess in the Temple of Padme. She was what Capri called the "Official bootlicker of High Priestess Yaseinet". Nami was strict and quick of temper. She was also Jani's sister by 2 years.
Just then a very stern yelled in CCapri's VERY sensitive ears.
"WHAT IS THAT CREATURE DOING IN THE VAILLAGE?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
---------------------------------------------
So how do you like it? I know it's really long, but I couldn't think of a good place to cut it off! So teel me what you think and if you guys want me to I'll out up profiles for each charector as they come into the story.

[ June 01, 2001: Message edited by: Capri ]

[Capri Ream]

"Nami!!", Capri exclamed.
" I asked what that creature is doing in the village", Nami said sternley in Capri's face.
"He's mine you boot licking blue witch"
"No outside creatures are permitted inside the village you brat"
"Try and take him from me, ya blue bit..."
"CAPRI!!!!" Jani shouted to the young priestess warrior.
" What? She has to fess up to what she is someday", Capri was eye to eye with Nami giving her one of the dirtest looks in history.
"Just like you will have to someday amit that your too short to be a warrior and Yaseinet only let you become one because she felt sorry for you!!", Nami knew she had just hit Capri where it hurts (emotionally). She just looked at the little Watyin and smugley said, "Now get that thing[I]out of the village, NOW!!!"
"The fuzzle stays Nami", a gentle voice said calmley from behind.
"But your Holyness, what about the saftey of the village", Nami said in her most concerned voice.She had gotten up to give her most innocent face to the priestess.
"One fuzzle will not do any harm to the village. And it is a fact that Capri is one of the most agile young women ever and deserves to be a warrior. I did not grant her holy powers out of pity", the High Preistess said mostley to Capri.
"Thank you High Priestess, I shall go watch the village for intrudors",Capri smiled at the High Priestess. She liked her alot.
" Your welcome Capri. But please, next time you must ive Nami the respect she deserves. She is after all, a priestess"
"Yes, of course, your Holyness" With that Capri went off running to the edge of the village.
"Nami, I need to discuss somthing with you and the other priestess, and also the High Priest and priests" Yaseinet said calmley.
"the warriors too?" Nami asked.
"Yes, all except Capri, tell all the warriors to go to the temple without letting Capri see them", Yaseinet replied,"The meeting concerns letting Capri go somewhere"
"Where?"
"The Magog Cartel"

[ June 01, 2001: Message edited by: Capri ]

[Capri Ream]

The Temple of Padme was filled completly with 99 Holy Warriors and the Priest and Priestess. Traditionaly there were always 100 Holy Warriors; 50 Priest, 50 priestess. But one of the priestess warriors knew nothing of the meeting, the youngest. Capriella Ream, Capri.
"Yaseinet", the booming voice of High Priest Dantan demanded, "Why have you called together the entire council?"
"Correction Dantan",Yaseinet said sweetly,"one of my own warriors is not here"
"The young one I presume?"
"Yes"
"I told you she was trouble. Girls that age that are as wild as she are not responsible!"
"She is not here because I did not tell her"
"Afraid she might do somthing?"
"No, Capriella is very trustworthy AND responsible. The meeting concerns her going to help the modokens in the fight against the Magog Cartel."
"WHAT?!!!!!"
" The modokens are fighting this fight practically alone. I've spoken to the Big Face in private and he told us he cannot garentee it completly, but if we help them the modokens will do their best to help us find food when we have none. And as you know our tribe is terrible low on food and supplies. If we don't get some crops to grow, the tribe will die out withen a few short months", Yaseinet then looked Dantan strait in the eyes,"And as you know, we are the last Watyin tribe on Mudos, the place where Padme first touched the blue rocks by the river and made the first Watyins"
Dantan thought for a moment.
"But why the little girl?" he asked.
"Capri is the most agile and has the advantage of sneaking past the sligs because of her small size and most of all, she is EXTREAMLY rightoues and would do this in a second", Yasienet answeared.
"You can't send her alone"
"Then pick one of your warriors"
Dantan turned to his 50 warriors.
"Do any of you wish to accompany the Priestess Warrior Capriella!"
"I will go with Capri", Roc steped foward.
"Roc, you are still young, I cannot risk you going now."
"I've known Capri since we were young and I feel that I am responsible for her safty."
"Very well"
Dantan turned to Yaseinet.
"Roc shall acommpany Capriella"
Yaseinet went to Roc.
"Thank you young Roc", she said in her calm,soothing voice,"May Padme and Odd look after you and Capriella"

[ June 04, 2001: Message edited by: Capri ]

[Sl'askia]

ok here's your one reply

This is going good. Don't lose heart and please continue. Just remember that just because no one is replying doesn't mean no one is reading it

[Silversnow]

I think its good, its the first fic with priests and priestessess ive read. Atleast i think so, but thats not a reason, hm. Anyway, its good.

[Capri Ream]

Sorry for being such a smartarse about replys! I was just getting depressed because these are really the only words of encorgement(SPELL CHECK!!)I get(my family doesn't get Oddworld or my storys). So I just edited the part of me complaing about replys because I CAN! Oh and Thnx to Dragadon and Silversnow for replying!
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Capri stumbled clumsly into the temple.The steps had always been too tall for her short little legs.
"Ah, Capriella",Yaseinet said soothingly,"Thank you for coming so quickley."
"I would have been here faster if I didn't have to climb every step like it was a wall", Capri said playfully. Yaseinet was the only one Capri could joke about her height with.Everyone else made fun of her small hieght.
"Yes I know",Yaseinet's gentle voice suddenly became very serious,"Capriella, you have been chosen to go and help the mudokens in their fight against the Magog Cartel."
"REALLY?!"
"Yes"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Well, I see your very enthusiastic!"
"This is the adventure of a lifetime for me!"
"Yes, I know"
Capri knelt down on one knee and bowed her head down,"Helping the mudokens fight the power hungry glukkons at the will of Padme and your Holiness is a great honor"
"Capriella, you know you will not be going to the mudoken village alone don't you?"
"What?"
"You know Dantan would never let you go alone"
"But,but,but,but......."
"I did not want to let anyone go with you, but High Priest Dantan insisted upon the matter"
"Who's going with me?" Capri then muttered so Yaseinet wouldn't hear,("I bet it's one of those old geezers")
"Roc Gati"
"ROC?!"
"Yes"
"THANK ODD AND PADME!"
"Why?"
"I thought it be someone old and boring"
"Oh I see"
"Well I better get Roc and we'll leave right away!" Capri jumped up and started to run for the exit.
"No"
"Huh? Why?"
"I want you both to have time to prepare"
"Oh Ok!"
"The two of you can leave tommarrow if you feel the need"
"Yes your Holiness!"
With that Capri sprinted twords the exit.
"May Odd and Padme help you young one"

[Capri Ream]

Capri ran out of the temple as fast as her legs would alow. She was so excited! She was finnally going on the adventure she had been waiting for! Life was good!
Capri ran twords ths Gati familey hut, wher Roc lived with his mother,father and sister Fitin.Capri stopped at the straw door and walked in quietley.
"Bini Gati?"Capri asked an elderley Watyin who was weaving a long cloth.
"hm?"the woman Watyin turned around,"Oh Capri! Saku saku Rkunu ! Sit down, sit down little one! Have you come to learn the art of cloth?"
"Um, no Bini, not today"
"Oh, but Rikunu, your cloths are so beutiful! You should not let such talent slip away!
"Next time I come I shall make a cloth. But today I am looking for Roc.Have you seen him?"
Ki, he and Raku Gati went to the lake to fish."
"Thank you very much Bini!!!!"
Capri ran out the hut and started twords the lake.
---------------------------------------------I know this is shor, but my mom is tired of seeong me and this site so I'll finish this part larter!!!

[Capri Ream]

Capri ran to Kaki(Blue Crystal) Lake as fast as she could. She was only a few feet away when she spotted Roc and Raku(Respected Warrior) Gati at the lake catching fish. She decided to wach them for a minute.
"Good catch Lisad(Son)!!!", exclaimed Raku Gati.
"Thank you Raku-Soo(Respected warrior father)"Roc said to his father.
The father and son began a conversation on the life of a warrior and other guy stuff Capri didn't(and didn't want to)get.
Capri was somewhat jealos of seeing Roc with his father. She had never had a father or mother to talk, laugh, and just be with. Her parents had died in the storm that cracked her egg open, forcing her to be born 3 months premature.
Capri snapped out of her deep thinking and knew that she had to get Roc. She had to tell him to start packing if they wanted to leave early tomarrow mourning.
"Roc..........."
Roc turned around to see Capri standing by a shrub as tall as her.
"Yes, Capri" Roc never called Capri Short Fin in front of his parents.
Capri looked down at the ground.
"Um, you should start getting your supplies together if you want to leave tommarow"
"Alright", Roc saw the sad look on Capri's face,"Is everything algright?"
Capri looked up at him and faked a big grin.
"Yeah everythings ok!!! Never been better!!!"
"Alright"
"Well bye Roc!! Bye Raku Gati!!!"
"Bye Capri"
Roc turned back to the lake.
"Somthings not right with Capri,son"Raku Gati said to his son.
"I know", Roc turned to face his father,"You don't think she suspects anything?"
"No, Capristill thinks that she was born during a storm and her parents are dead"
"I was thinking."
"MY son thinks?"
"Funny. I was thinking, what if her parents were relocated somewhere else, suppose the factory we're going too?"
"Mabey. But you know that the truth will shine it's light. No matter how much Dantan and Yaseinet try to hide it."
"Yeah, I just hope Capri will be able to handle it when it does shine........."
(OCC: Ooooooh the suspense!!!! I have such a writer's block!!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! What do I write next!!!!!!!!!FFFFFUUUUUUDDDDDDDGGGGGGGEEEEEEEE!!!!! Oh, well I come up with some sucky crud.
)

[Sl'askia]

don't just hate writers block? I know I do. hmmm want to borrow one of my bombs to get rid of it?

[Capri Ream]

SURE!! I'D LOVE ONE!!!

[Capri Ream]

Capri woke up early the next morning full of energy. She dressed as fast as she could and made sure all of her arrows were sharp and very pointy.She then made sure her boomarang was smooth.
"Now all I have to do is get Rok and we can go!!!!"
Capri walked over to Rok's hut and knoked on the straw door. Bini Raku answered.
"Hello, Rikunu!! Rok is in his room getting his supplies"
"Thank you Bini!!!"
(Note: Watyin huts are round and have several rooms for different members of the familey)
Capri skipped to Rok's room, pused the bead curtain that served as his door to see him hunched over a small pack. She decided to make herself known.
"HI ROK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"WHAA!!!!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
"
"Evil little ..."
"What did you say?!"
"Nothin'"
"Good"
"Well I'm done looking over my supplies"
"Then let's go!"
"Fine"
Capri ran out of the Raku familey hut while Rok walked.
"Jeez, you hyper enough?"
"Nope"
"Figures"
"Arn't you just the least bit excited?"
"I don't really care"
"Rok, whatever shall I do with you? "
"Yeah yeah"
Just then Hiki ran(?) as fast as he could tworads Capri.
"Hiki?"
"What is that?"
"Thatis my fuzzle Hiki"
Capri picked up the tinny fuzzle in her arms.
"Hiki I have to go somewhere imporant ok?"
" "
"You wanna come with me jini(sweetie)?"
" "
Rok looked at Capri.
"That stuffed animal is not coming with us."
"He is not a stuffed animal and yes he is!!"
"No he is not"
Yes he is and that's final! Hop into my arrow pack Hiki!"
The little fuzzele hopped into Capri's arrow pack and made itself comfurtable.
"Dear Odd what did I do wrong?" Rok asked himself.
"Shut up and let's go" Capri walked past Rok.
"OWWW!"
Capri turned around and saw Rok holding his finger in pain.
"What happned?"
"That thing bit me!"
"Who?"
"That fuzzle!"
"Hiki would never!"
"He just did!"
"Your just mad that he's coming!"
"Whatever!"
"HMPF!!!" Capri walked off tworads the destination.
"Stupid little stuffed animal!"
[OCC: I decided that I would start working on this again!It sux I know! But hey whatever keeps the story going!]

[BigBroSig]

I think it's great so far! Just one question, what is a watyin?

[Capri Ream]

Watyin (pronouced Wa-Ti-in) are aquatic creatures that live in a seculeded forest near their sacred lakes:Kaki(Blue Crystal), Si(Glittering Life), and Resai(Heart Light).
In all there were 3 main tribes with 6 sub-tribes each. But the glukkens decided to use the watyins as slaves when they found a few sub-tribes. After the glukkons had tottally deystryed their homes and lakes there were only 25 watyins left. So The formed into on tribe that lives near Kaki Lake, the only lake not deystroyed compleatley.
Watyins are both male and female that mate in pairs. They have eggs rather than live young. They are all Light to Deep blue and have a fin on thier heads, above thier pointed ears, and on thier ankles. They have webbed toes and fingers that are also pointy and VERY sharp. They can breath under water and have a second eyelid for under water.

Whew that's alot! Can ya tell I spent alot of time comming up with this?

[BigBroSig]

cool... THANX!

[Capri Ream]

"Capri, where are we going?",asked Rok
"You mean the High Priest didn't tell you?", Capri answered.
"I didn't ask him "
"Your a dork sometimes!"
"At least I'm not short!! "
"Well, If you have to know you Gashi(moron), we're going to Slog Kennels"
"Wheres that?"
"Just North of here"
"How are we going to get in?"
"We're supposed to meet some Mudoken named Abe or somthin'"
"And this is going to help us how?"
"Well, he and some other mudokens found a way in"
"And let me guess, we're gonna follow them huh?"
"Wow you do have a brain!!"
"Brat"
"Moron"
Capri and Rok continued to walk through the forest twords Slog Kennels. Although, unbeknowest to Capri, the key to her true past was in that place.
[OCC:Sorry it took me so much time to put this up! But I have had EXTREME writer's block for the longest time!! There will be more, I just have to figure out how I'm gonna make this work!!! AAAHHH I HATE WRITERS BLOCK AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! ]

[ July 20, 2001: Message edited by: Capri ]

[Capri Ream]

I have a question, I have some pictures on my paint program that go with this story and I don't know how to put them on so can anyone help me?

[Sl'askia]

*ahem* first you need a website to upload them to. then you take the pics url and put it inbetween [ img ] [ /img ](no spaces). Warning! the webhosts Angelfire, Tripod, and Geocites dont allow direct image linking to other sites/forums. I hope that helps...

[Capri Ream]

THANX!!!!!

[Capri Ream]

Abe waited outside the Slog Kennels with Alf.
"So when are they coming?"Alf asked.
"I don't really know, their tribe is all the way on the other side of Mudos."
"oh"
Just then Capri and Rok came oyut from the woods. They looked around a little before seeing the two mudokens standing near the kennels.
"Ayashto!Fi Capri tik soko ge Rok" Capri yelled to the two.
"What?"
"They don't speak Watyini, you idiot!"Rok said the small female.
"Sorry! I'm Capri and this is Rok!"
"I'm Abe and this is Alf"
"Oh, your the two mudokens!"
"Yeah"
"Very kool! Let's go! Where's the entrance?"
"We'll have to sneak in"
"OK!! Where?"
"That's what we're trying to figure out"
"Well let's try and find out as quick as we can"
[Sorry Ihavn't been working on this latle! I've just been work on this part and more and with summer school and band camp, that isn't easy. I'll try to get the next part as soon as I can! ]

[Lantra]

keep up the good work capri.