Ultimate IRC Quotes

[Havoc]

Have some workout for your laughing muscles! Hilarious quotes from IRC channels! Add your own quotes if you have any . Why make a new topic and not just put it in with all the other stupid shit? Because it's to funny to be in there... and because I say so.

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language

<Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid
<V-girl> i belong with the other 13%

<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
<peng> ...
<peng> what?
<VolteFace`> oh shit
<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you DROP shit

<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit

*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'
* Anubis has joined #doghouse
<Anubis> what fraud?
<Kadmium> You haven't heard about it?
<Anubis> no?
<Kadmium> You can read the full story at [url]http://www.tubgirl.com[/url]
<Anubis> omg wtf!
*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'

[Godlesswanderer]

Hahaha I love stuff like this.

I used to have a really great website for stuff like this but I've lost it.

[Xavier]

that was worth the read, thanks Havoc

[Statikk HDM]

Eh, not IRC, but the same thing. Posted in one of the first Stupid Shit threads.
!!!THE LEGEND OF BLOODNINJA!!!
http://www.adamchance.com/funny.htm

[DarkHoodness]

Hehe, those were funny. :P Plenty more where that came from too.
http://www.bash.org/

There's one quote I have from MSN (yeah, I've shown it to pretty much everyone who's known me for a while, I know), when I was talking to some people from these boards (they're not here anymore but I won't identify them) on September 11th just after midnight - Not a really funny thing. It's the sort of thing that makes you think. Be very careful what you wish for. :P

Extract from MSN chat log: Recorded on 11th September 2001, 12:45am GMT:

SW says:
I GO TO SCHOOL WITH PEOPLE FROM NEW YORK
SW says:
IT CAN'T GET ANY WORSE
SW says:
NYC people are the meanest, most ignorant people on Earth
SW says:
If New York exploded, I would not care
Dark Hood says:
Ah. . .
Dark Hood says:
That's worse then my local school, then. . .
SW says:
Nor would any of my fellow locals
R says:
sort of like, meteorites would be an improvement, yeah?
SW says:
Indeed
Dark Hood says:
Thing is, if I metor hit NYC, then the rest of the earth would go with it.
R says:
i'll see what i can do...
SW says:
yeah
R says:
depends on the size of the meteorite
SW says:
unfortunately I'm within an hour radius
Dark Hood says:
Maybe if the Meteor was just the right size. . .
R says:
well, you'd probably hear a bang...
Dark Hood says:
BOOM!
R says:
about the size of a car
Dark Hood says:
Yeah.

We all know what happened after that. :S Heh.

[Havoc]

Thats almost scary :P.

[Mutual Friend]

I only have two MSN conversations recorded and they both involve friends and a little animosity. Heh!

People are fragile things says:
you're so ungrateful
Mutual Friend says:
no no no, the message was very nice
Mutual Friend says:
but you HAVE abandoned me! And on Valentine's Day of all days!!
People are fragile things says:
i havent!
People are fragile things says:
we can still go
People are fragile things says:
you're too fussy

Which was followed by long and tedious argument that reached the point of:

People are fragile things says:
you're a twat liam

And another person, another time:

Your comments are always "amusing" whereas you will get extremely high and mighty, stressy and quite frankly, act like a little bitch, if you so much as think I'm being rude. Pull your head out of your ass, darling

I dunno what that even means.

[Bullet Magnet]

Ever notice how when the other person stops responding without changing their status, in an attempt to draw their attention you say stuff that gets progressively wierder? No? Perhaps it's just me.

Bullet Magnet winks:

Play "Silly Face"
Long distance five point homing throat punch! says:
GAH!
Long distance five point homing throat punch! says:
that terrifying....
Long distance five point homing throat punch! says:
seriously.
Bullet Magnet says:
Not so fearless as you thought, ey?
Bullet Magnet says:
Mwahahahaha!
Bullet Magnet says:
Ahem.
Long distance five point homing throat punch! says:
hey man, that thing was totally messed up.
Long distance five point homing throat punch! says:
like, seriously.
Bullet Magnet says:
It was like, totally white, man! Like a ghost, man!
Bullet Magnet says:
It was so thin, it was a skeleton man!
Bullet Magnet says:
A ghost skeleton, with only one black bone, man!
Long distance five point homing throat punch! says:
it could pass through WALLS!
Bullet Magnet says:
Like TOTALLY, man!
Long distance five point homing throat punch! says:
woah, intense, DOOOOOd!
Bullet Magnet says:
Check, man!
Bullet Magnet says:
Dude, double check!
Bullet Magnet says:
...m-man!
Bullet Magnet says:
Like w00t , man.

It got to the point that:

Bullet Magnet says:
"And he looked unto His children and said, 'Nay! do not fear her waters, for she giveth life to the worthy, and taketh it away from the dark ones. And you may eat from the lurkfish, whose loins contain the essential oil omega-3, vital to the growing mind. ...Eth. And you may eat from the flesh of the mudflub, for it's slimey exterior tastes particuarly good when fried with the kidneywort reed.
Bullet Magnet says:
"But thou art not to consume any part of the grimeleech, for it is an unholy beast, despite it's important role in the river's ecosystem, and should thoust disobey this commandment-eth I shalt smite you with explosive diarrhoea, well I sayeth smite, it is actually a bacterial colony within the grimeleech's gut, but thou needn't know of such things. Look, justeth keep away from the unholy grimleech
Bullet Magnet says:
"For as important as it mayeth be, it will cause digestive problems-eth, and the resultant bowl movements will maketh thou very unpopular with the ladies, and no one wanteth that now, dost they?"
Bullet Magnet says:
-Book of Larry, verse 23-25 of the Grubb Handi-Biblee-Book-Thingie
Long distance five point homing throat punch! says:
nice.
Long distance five point homing throat punch! says:
creative.
Bullet Magnet says:
I just made it up.
Bullet Magnet says:
Nay, read it out from the Grubb Handi-Biblee-Book-Thingie

Come to think of it, all of my MSN chats end up this way...

[ANN NEELY]

* WestBeach pretends hes an earthquake and flies around the room
WestBeach: oops
WestBeach: i meant to type...
WestBeach: uhhh
WestBeach: airplane

That one cracks me up every time for some reason....