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  #1  
06-12-2006, 06:12 PM
Slig outlaw's Avatar
Slig outlaw
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Oddworld: Kore's Oddysee

Oddworld: Kore's Oddysee: Chapter 1: Kore's Life

Created by: Slig outlaw

One day a little Steef named Kore was grazing with a whole tribe of Steef's Kore always looked up to his mother his brothers and sisters always played with the other baby Steef in the tribe but Kore was shy and always stayed close to his mom.

Kore you really need to meet some friends you have been on me every since you came out of the whom which was five weeks ago Kore's mom said.

But when if they don't like me they might call me names and poke fun of me Kore said.

Well you won't know until you go out thee and try Kore's mom said.

Okay mom I'll try Kore said as he moved away from his mom and walked to the other little Steef's.

Hello my name is Kore he said. But the other Steefs were a little older and had there horns which Kore didn't so the other cub steef begins to laugh.

Ha ha ha ha ha look at his horns oh wait he doesn't have horns one of the little Steef's said as the continued to poke fun at Kore and walked away leaving Kore all there by himself even Kore's brother and sister laughed and left.

Kore feels his head knowing that there are know horns and looks down but something wasn't right Kore smelled something that didn't smell like a Steef or anything he ever saw before so he runs back to his mom.

Damn we almost got him I better go and tell the boss that all these Steef's are here then we will make a fortune the outlaw said in the trees.

Mom mom mom there is something in the trees something that I never saw or smelled before and we travel every night or day and we....

It probably was just some other creature no need to panic son Kore's mom said.

Meanwhile on the other side opf the Steef's tribe there was a boss named Heroic.

Boss me and one of the female steef's were out in the woods and we saw outlaws a male steef said.

What elert the others we need to protecrt our selves and were not moving on damn step Heroic said.

Then the male steef roars to alert eeveryone.

Mom what is going on Kore said as his heart rate picks up and he gets really scared.

I don't know but whatever it is we should ask Kore's mom said.

Then all of a sudden outlaws come out of the trees hundreds of them with guns and nets in there hand.

Males attack protect the females and there young Heroic said as he and the other male Steef attacks the outlaws.

Were is your brothers and sisters Kore's mom yelled.

I don't know they went with the other young steef's Kore shouted.

Run!!!! Kore I'll look for them one of the other Steefs said.

Then Kore hears six shots and see's six Steef's lay dead and he begins to run with his mom behind him as she also looked for her other young.

Kore begins to run and run and run for a mile and when he stops he looks behind him to see was him mom okay but his mom wasn't there.

Mom!!!! mom!!! were are you Kore yelled as he looked around trying to see his family so then he runs back hopeing praying that is mom and brothers and sisters are okay.

To Be Continued.
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  #2  
06-12-2006, 10:12 PM
E'l Scrabino's Avatar
E'l Scrabino
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: May 2006
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That's good, nice plot and everything. But try to use more punctuation, like quotation marks at the start and end of where someone speaks, and commas'. I'd like to see how this devolops, so keep on posting!
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  #3  
06-12-2006, 10:13 PM
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Slig outlaw
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: Nov 2005
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Okay thank you.
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