Jokes based on some of our characters.
Add your own!
Q) What do you get if you cross Malice with a Jehovah's Witness?
A) Lots of converts!
Q) What do you get if you cross Twisted Firestarter with a Jehovah's Witness?
A) Someone who knocks on your door at seven o'clock on a Sunday morning and tells you to go to hell.
Q) What do you call Dragadon on a bicyle?
A) Optimistic!
Q) Whow do you get Dark Hood out of the bath?
A) Throw a bar of soap at him.
Q) How can you tell if Dragadon is in the pub?
A) Her bike is outside.
Q) How can you tell if Dragadon and Spider are in the pub?
A) The bike's crossbar is dented.
Q) How can you tell if Dragadon, Spider and Shriek are in the pub?
A) Stand on Dragadon's bike and look through the window.
Q) How can you tell if Mnemalik has been using your computer to send e-mails?
A) There are stamps stuck to the screen.
Q) How do you get Hak, Trey, Snek, Rettick, Shred and Zander into a Mini?
A) Hak in the front, others in the back.
Q) How do you get Fuzzy Fuzzle into the same Mini?
A) You can't; it's full of Sligs.
Q) Why couldn't Hak, Trey, Snek, Rettick, Shred and Zander attend the Annual Conference of Oddworld Fanfiction Characters?
A) They were stuck in the Mini.
Foggy the medic walks into a bar and orders a hazelnut daiquiri. The bartender is out of hazelnuts, so he makes a daiquiri out of hickory nuts, thinking Foggy won't notice. He does, though, and says, "Oi! This isn't hazelnut!". The bartender admits defeat and says, "I know; it's a hickory daiquiri, doc".
Q) Why did Twisted Firestarter snort NutraSweet?
A) She thought it was diet coke.
Q) Which side of Alector's head has the most feathers?
A) The outside.
Q) How do you know if Unopa is under your bed?
A) Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Q) How do you know if Unopa is on top of your bed?
A) By the embroidered 'U' on her pyjama pocket.
Q) What's the difference between a rabid Rottweiler and Twisted with PMS?
A) Hair gel.
One summer, Dragadon found a family of birds nesting in her mohawk. They'd been weaving the hairs together and making them all matted. She tried everything she could think of to get rid of the birds, but no matter what she did they just came back again. She tried lotions and potions. She kept her cave warmer and she kept her cave colder. She went to doctors, she went to bird specialists. She trimmed her mane down as much as she could. She tried loud bangs, cats, and tiny scarecrows. Nothing would make the birds leave her mane alone.
Eventually, she decided to consult a Mudokon Shaman, thinking that if anyone can get rid of the birds, it'd probably be a Mud. The Shaman told her to rub yeast into her mohawk. Drag was sceptical, but she did it and the birds flew away, and never came back! Dragadon went back to the Shaman to ask how it works. He replied, "Oh, it's simple, really. Yeast is yeast and nest is nest, and never the mane shall tweet."
Q) How can you tell if the ground is level?
A) Goliath is drooling from both sides of his mouth.
Twisted Firestarter is an excellent laxative. If the sight of her doesn't scare the crap out of you, she'll irritate the shit out of you in a couple of hours!
Twisted Firestarter, Mnemalik and Pheldsparr go into a pub, and each order a beer. When they get them, they find that there is a fly floating in each one. "Bloody hell!" says Mnem, "that's a bit much!" and gets the bartender to pour him another. "Stop makin' such a fuss, mate," says Twisted, "'s only a fly," and she takes the fly out of her drink, flicks it away and takes a big draught from her glass. Pheldsparr, however, is aghast. He picks up the fly from his glass and shakes it really hard, saying, "spit that out, you little bastard! Go on, spit it out, or you'll be sorry!"
Q) What do you give Dragadon when she's feeling seasick?
A) Lots of room!
Fuzzy Fuzzle goes into a bar and asks for a beer. The barkeep says, "sorry, but I can't serve you." "What? Why not?" is Fuzzy's reply. "Because," the barkeep says, "you can't hold your booze."
Q) What's the difference between Marlik and a herd of angry Scrabs?
A) Marlik charges more.
Hickory Dickory Dock, the Merf ran up the clock. The clock is now being repaired.
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Hand me my flamethrower... it's the one that says 'Bad Motherfucker'.
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I'd think of some, but they'd be crap, so I won't bother.
