A deadly mistake.

[outlaw king]

Ello everyone! just felt like writing a short story , so here it is!

A deadly mistake

" Get up! " palooka shouted to the outlaws sleeping around the campsite. " Listen yer meat bags! , roomer iz dat da strangerz comin ta gett us , so we iz gunna ship out berfor sundown " . And so palooka rounded up his cronies and set out into the open praries of west oddworld.

Soon it was time to rest , so palloka and his fellow outlaws set up a temporary campsite , out in the open. " Okay , hers da speshul breefing " palooka said as his men huddled around the campfire to avoid the cold of the desert night. " Weez iz gunna walk froo dead steef canion , and den weez will settel in dis here junkyard " he said pointing a grubby , greasy finger at a tattered map.

Morning came , the boys had the regular meal of scrab cakes and baby chow soup , and then set off towards dead steef canyon . The blistering heat beat on the backs of packrat palookas men as they entered the canyon.
" okayz " palooka said " Keep a close eye out fer scrabs , there commun , i can smellit " . " But boss , were stuck in 'ere , if scrabs cum , were doomed " , a outlaw said.

Good last words for the man , as soon he was trampled by 3 scrabs fighting.
" Run fer da exit of tha canyen boyz! Its a scrab battle " Palooka shouted.
many tried running , or fighting , and were trampled by the ongoing battle for dominance the scrabs were having. " Yer zoggin idiots , RUN ! " palooka cursed as he loaded 3 slugs of buckshot into a scrabs face.

hopes of exiting the canyon were futile , as scrabs are very vicious , and will attack fleeing opponents. All the outlaws could do was wait for the battle to finish.

And soon it did . " How many ladz ave we gott left ? " palooka asked one of his " leutenents " . " Freeundred left boss " he replied and was instantley shot by palooka in a fit of rage . " Fine , noo plan , we exitt thiz canyen , and den we go too the junkyerd , and we wait fer the stranger ta cum , den we kill 'em , and take over buzzarten " palooka issued to the battered remains of his men.

And so they did , palooka was a very dangerous outlaw , but he and his boys would never be so mighty again.

The end.
Told ya it was short!

[Cullen Heath]

That was pretty good, but I would strongly advise you to turn it into a real story and make that chapter one.

That was way to short for a whole story. I really think that you should continue.

[outlaw king]

well , if you insist , lets make that chapter 1 of " The life of packrat palooka " !

Chapta too

" Alrite yer sissy boyz " palooka told his men upon entering the abandoned junkyard . " Were low on fellerz , so all of yer better pull yer wait around or ill tie yer up like jo mammas laundrey " . Life at the junkyard was hard for palooka , he missed the satisfaction of being able to plunder all that he pleased , now he was reduced to hiding from stranger like the rat he was .

" Boss , yer better cum see this ! " one of palookas cronies bellowed in his ear as he was enjoying a quiet gin in his office . ' Alright , dont get yer ballz in a knot " palooka insulted . Palooka approached a large group of outlaws all huddling around in a bunch . " Look boss , someone tied up rusty dan ! " . Palooka stared down at the outlaw all tied up in bolamite webbing " . " Its da stranger , eez ere ! " Palooka panicked . " Everyone of yers are now on 24 hour watch ! "

Oops , my dads here , im going to his house , ill finish this chapter when i can! laters!

[Cullen Heath]

Cool, now you have the beggining of a story, instead of a "Chapter".

Reply when you get back from your Dad's house.

[outlaw king]

Im baaaaack!

for that night palooka couldnt sleep , he didnt want to go to jail , not with boilz and filthy hands floyd , they were " amateurs " compared to him. He put a coffe on the stove , trying to maintain a full alert , but eventually he fell asleep.

Next thing he new one of his groveling grunts was shouting at him to get up. " Boss , hes here! the strangur boss , he was waiting all night near ther back of tha junkyard , and hes tied up evryone else! " . This is all palooka needed , he new he was going back there , but he wouldnt go out without a fight. " send out ther suicide bommers " packrat demanded as he ran to his shielded platform.

A few anxious hours passed , and then he appeared , the stranger . " Bugger off yer ugly son of a bi*ch! " , packrat bellowed , even though he knew it had no effect. " Im gettin that laptop you took of eugene " stranger replied. Palooka took a moment to think about eugene , who the heck was he? Packrat didnt think much longer, simply because stranger had " generously " loaded a thud slug in his face.

A long battle ensued , but eventually packrat was brought in , he knew it was coming.
" Ill take that! " the bounty store manager chuckled as he took the laptop out of packrats pocket. " I errrrr never noo thert was there " packrat pathetically said. " Welcome to tha gang , meat balls " filthy hands floyd laughed in the adjacent jail cell.

Sh*t , packrat cursed in his head , jail life is going to suck. But little did he know , a turn of events would soon appeal tp his favour.

[outlaw king]

chapta free - on the roll again.

Palooka sat and sobbed in his cell . " Flippin ....stranger , gone take me in ..........im rooend" he mumbled. " Would you shut yer flappers , me and boilz been tryin ta catch fortey winks , buy yoo keep flappin them there jaws of yers! " filthy hands floyd spoke quietly , yet still enraged. " eh shuddup , yer filthy lowlife jo mammas boy " packrat snapped back . suddenly the jail entrance door swung open , and lefty lugnutz was hurled in the cell next to palookas . " That strangur got yers aswell ? " palooka asked . " yup , but I got me a few bombs under this ere hat of mine , and im busting this hell ' ole , before that there rancid piece of clakker dung stranger comes back ".

Lefty pulled a large bomb out from under his hat , and handed it to palooka . " Yer the smart one , bust me out! " he said . " bugger off ! " packrat retorted . " go get xplosive mcgee ur sompthin , 'es the fuller yer lookin fer " . " fine , ill do it yer yella bellied good fer nuthin lump of butt flo " lefty snapped. " Ill cut the fuse down a little " lefty said.

Not a good idea.

packrat jumped to the corner of the cell as lefty and part of the jail wall , blew to smithereenz.

Packrat ran as fast as his stubby little feet took him , an elum would of really helped right now . packrat hardly noticed that there was a jail bar lodged in his leg , he was to excited/ scared , but he soon felt it , and it felt like hell. So he ran of quickly to see the doc.

Packrat stormed into the docs office . " excuse me kind fellow , but do you have an appointment , and wheres my moolah ?" The doc demanded . " Git ova it , and help me out " palooka demanded , sticking a gun to the docs head . " okay , okay , dont kill me , im a vykerr! " , he said as he lay packrat on the table . " Whats the problem? ".

" see this ere bar ? " . " yes ? " . " fixitt " . " how ? " . " I dont know how the hell yer can fixit , just FIXITT!!!! " , " alright , alright , calm down mister! " . A speedy operation later , and packrat was out , in the west again. This time alone.

[outlaw king]

CHAPTA FORE - alliances made.


Soon the early morning suns stung packrats eyes , he had been wandering the desert for 12 hours , and only had 2 scrab cakes , a chill pill , and a jo mamma home made paramite pie for nourishment. He really thought his gig was up.

But in the clearing he could spot a solid line of troops in the distance . He was saved!
" ey yooz guys! , ova ere! help me out! " . Palooka ran closer and closer , and then he found out who the leader of the troops was. " Meagly Mcgraw? " palooka said . " yup , dats mee " . " ya gotta help me! ill die! " " okay , okay , back of the line."

And so palooka was still wondering through the desert , but at least he had some protection.

[outlaw king]

soon one of the soldiers stopped in his tracks . " I can hear sumfin boss " he moaned . " sounds like metal or sumfin " . This worried palooka , he knew the ways of the desert , and was expecting anything. " keep yer iezes peeled , or yer mite end up face down in elum dung , dead " palooka suggested . " Thats bullsh#t , nothing cood possiblt gettus now " meagly insisted . He spoke a little too soon , because 300 of his own men just started opening fire own the remains of his men.

" Crap! , its a zoggin rebeleeon! " meagly screamed as he dived behind a nearby desert rock , thereby avoiding several shots. " I told yer so ! yer flipping bolamite brain! yer as smaght as a elum with a concushun! " palooka bragged . He wasnt very good at insults. A massive array of gunfire erupted as men fought and fell . Then in the clearing came the figure of elboze freely , punching and flinging soldiers left and right , charging straight towards palooka and meagly.

" Forward for the outlaw rebellion ! " Elboze shouted as he plundered into the left flank of meaglys elite unit . " REBELLION?????? , what the feck are outlaws rebelling fer? " meagly exclaimed as a rebel popped up and fired two shots in his shoulder . Palooka drew his blunderbuss and started blowing soldiers away , left , right , and centre as the ever flowing rebels started attacking more fiercly . " Find cover! " meagly shouted. " There is none , were in the middle of the desert! " a outlaw retorted as he was killed .

Things were about to get much worse.

[Cullen Heath]

That was very good!

You wrote all those chapters pretty fast.

[outlaw king]

chapta fife - da deth of meagly

Elboze tore the rock right out the ground , exposing packrat and meagly . Meagly was still wounded , put refusesed to give in , and his wound was openining up and turning black. Packrat pulled the paramite pie out of his backpack , and placed it on meaglys wound to cover it.

The odds now were about 180 rebels to 90 normal outlaws . Elboze was really making things hard . Soon the normal outlaws were decimated , and Elboze stared long and hard at meagly and palooka . " Yer pissed off thur rebelz , now yu will die! " He bellowed in a rusty metallical voice.

This enraged meagly beyond the point of his restraint , he pulled out his rifle and blew 7 soldiers away , he then ran out of ammo and pulled out a weak looking pistol . " Yer want sum of meagly mcgraw , com fecking take it! COME AND FECKING TAKE ME!! " he yelled firing shots everywhere.

Elboze picked up meagly and squeezed , hard . "Alright stoppit! " meagly pleaded as every bone in his body was crushed and blood came out his nose . " AAAAAAAGGGHHH "! elboze tossed the bloodied , broken , squeezed dry meagly over his shoulder . " He he , methinks it makes a good cloak! " he tried joking . " Take that palooka feller hostedge ! "

And so packrat was taken to an old looking place , it had been deserted for years , and it had taken ages to get there. " Welome tur rupture farms = the western division ! " elboze said as the entered the deserted factory. Palooka knew of this place , it had been eveacuated when abe shut down the northen division . People were too scared to go in , as the place was infested with wildlife escaping the hot desert sun .

Paloka was tied to a old rusty meat grinder right next to the skeleton of what looked like a slig . " Enjoy your stay! It wont last long! " Elboze chuckled.

[outlaw king]

Packrat sat and reflected . Soon elboze came back with some stail bread and curdled fleech milk. " Enjoy yer last meal" he chortled. " WAIT! " palooka shouted . Lefty paused . " Tell me about this rebellion of yurs " packrat demanded . " Alright , but yer bettur open them eerflaps of yurs cos i wont repeat meeself.


We once got tha wurd that strangur had captured most of der othur outlawws in buzzurtun , and taht the ones remaining wur beecomin good and wur gonna snitch on me and my boyz , so we ad' to rubbim out beefur strangur gottus . Wur stuk in a civil war paloookka , and yur in the middle offit. outlaws versus outlaws , breaks me art.

elboze was about to leave , but palooka caleed him back . " Wait elboze! whattif i join this ere rebeleeon of yers? " . Elboze thought . " Okay , i cood yuse yer brains " .

Mornin came

And off the troops marched , towards elbozes new yolk city hideout , where they would soon lay seige.

[outlaw king]

chapta sixx - Attahk on new yolk citay.

After 7 strait hours of climbing , the rebels soon arrived at elbozes mountain hideout , where palooka saw several artillery canons parked up on the mountains edge . Palooka looked down on the target of this bombardment - new yolk city.

" Wur gonna blow the 'ell out offit , so wecann move in and plundur itt. " elboze said.
palookas orders were to measure the trajectory of the shots , miss , and he would be executed . He did a little braining , and then got the trajectory distance estimates.
" Okey dokey , elboze , wur reddy , WUN.....TOO....FREE!. Before the canons shot stranger appeared , killing several outlaws . Elboze ran as hard as his motor boots took him , so packrat followed.

Unfortunatly for elboze , packrat tripped up , and grabbed elbozes back armour , ripping it off . Elboze was to panicked to notice . soon they both reached a room full of platforms , palooka hid behind a few old crates of soul storm brew and watched a fierce battle between elboze and stranger . Stranger fired 13 boom bats into elbozes bear back , killing him .

Stranger bountied his catch then ran off . Palooka tried to get up , but he tripped over again , stumbled backwards , and crashed out of the 300th story window . Packrat fell , he could feel the air hitting his face very hardly . He activated his anti pressure system so the impact couldnt kill him , and hit the mongo river.

He was finally washed on shore , after a few minutes of being gushed around in the mongo rapids . He looked up at the sign on the shore.

'last legs" it said.

[Cullen Heath]

This is getting very exiting. Keep it up!