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  #1  
05-03-2004, 06:46 PM
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Finn's Story...

Yeah, so this is my first fanfic in a while...well, since Lily's Oddysee anyways. But I have to warn you...this story is a bit darker/depressing than most, and contains numerous curse words. If this bothers you at all, then...yeah.

FINN'S STORY
Chapter One: Deeper


I faced the glowing orange sunset and sighed. My meep were grunting their noises loudly as usual, the crisp, crystal blue river gently flowing beneath my calloused toes. Everything is the same, was the same, will be the same. There is no denying it. My life shall not change for the better, for I had already vigorously drove it into the ground. I had made too many mistakes in the past, and I am doomed to make them yet again in the future.

I sat down, gazing at the village below. The mudokon children were running around giggling and smiling, playing their games. The elders sat down near the crackling fire and began to meditate. It was a nice village, a beautiful village. Nothing was wrong with it, yet I still felt dissatisfied.

I sighed yet again and headed towards my hut. I heard giggling and snickering coming from the bushes.

I considered asking who’s there, but I knew it would be no use.

*THUD*

I felt a large rock hit my skull. I staggered as the world began to spin and blur. Moments later, I woke up on the ground. My loincloth had been stripped of me, and I was tied to the ground with several leather ropes on each of my limbs.

I heard pattering footsteps and suppressed laughter traveling into the depths of the forest.

I struggled for hours and eventually freed myself from the straps. As I walked towards my hut, I noticed a large, lovely spraypainted message for me.

“GET THE FUCK OUT, SLIG LOVER!”

I proceeded to get out the sponge and headed towards the river to fill the bucket. The torture and harassment didn’t bother me much any more, as it had become a routine thing. Just part of my day.

I felt the side of my head. I pulled my hand away, washing the blood off into the river.

I never should have helped that slig. That single moment has changed my life forever.

------------------------

As it reached night, I had finished scrubbing off the spraypaint. I walked into my hut and sat down in the dusty, wooden chair.

I reached for the small razorblade sitting on the shelf and dug it into my wrist.

Deeper, deeper.

Yes…

I shivered and shuddered as the mixture of pain, redemption and pleasure flushed throughout my body, my eyelids flickering with content.

Yes. Things are better now.

In a matter of minutes I fell asleep in the chair, blood trickling down onto my leg.

-----------------------------------

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  #2  
05-03-2004, 08:50 PM
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Wow, that is depressing. I am curious to read more though. It is interesting to wonder how a mudokon tribe would treat one that helped an Industrial fellow.

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  #3  
05-04-2004, 12:45 AM
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Quite depressing indeed. Can't wait to see the following chapters.

Alcar...
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  #4  
05-04-2004, 08:35 AM
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What can I say? Ben's Oddysee was great, Lily's Oddysee was great and... So is this! You're great at writing Mac, keep it up (but please finish this one! I was really annoyed at Lily's lack of... ending!!!)
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  #5  
05-04-2004, 08:35 AM
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It is depressing, but I like the story. Maybe because I'm a bit 'depressing' too, a bit moody. Wonder what will happen next...

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  #6  
05-04-2004, 02:32 PM
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Ho-lee crap.
That's a bit disturbing.
Kinda like watching someone pull a very mean prank. You don't want to watch, yet you cannot look away.
Me likey. Keep it up.

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  #7  
05-05-2004, 02:20 AM
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I'm intrigued. Carry on.
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  #8  
05-05-2004, 06:53 PM
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Thanks for all the great comments my homies...it really makes writing this story worthwhile.

-----------------------------------

Chapter Two: Yurich

That night I had a dream about…the night.

The night that changed it all.

The night of the invasion.

It was late at night; or early in the morning, whichever you prefer. About 2 or 3:00, I’d say. We were all fast asleep in our huts, with stomachs stuffed from the feast earlier that night celebrating the anniversary of the savior Abe’s escape.

The sky was dimly lit orange, the sun barely peeking from the snowcapped mountains.

It had barely started raining.

I heard the faint sound of propellers.

Then came the grunting and yelling of obscenities.

Closer and closer.

Louder and louder.

About 50-something flying sligs burst from the hills, coming every which way, dropping grenades on every hut in sight. The village erupt in terror instantly.

Several sligs started chasing down a mudokon child. Its face was purple from screaming, crying and hyperventilating all at the same time. It tripped on a rock wedged into the mud and fell.

One slig flew down, picked him up and flew back to his friends.

He threw the child up in the air and made sure it fell into his razor-sharp propellers, ripping and decimating the child's flesh to shreds.

There was screaming and crying coming from every direction, I panicked as what to do.

Almost all of the humble huts and looming trees had caught fire.

The thick mud in the ground was turning dark maroon, mixing with the masses of blood.

As I ran to the Sanctum, I heard a moaning coming from behind a bush. I rushed over to see if there was a mudokon injured, as I had been trained in medicine by Shantu.

It was a slig.

It appeared as if his helicopter had crashed, malfunctioned in a way. Pieces of shrapnel were embedded into his skin. His left arm had been torn from his body somehow, and it was nowhere to be seen. He had one of his propellers stuck into his chest, and his tentacles were dripping with blood.

“Please…please help…”

I staggered back, feeling nauseous.

“I…I’m not one of them…”

In a rush of adrenaline and fear, I picked up the dying slig and stumbled into my hut. My hut had not been bombed, since it was not in junction with the village. It stood on the higher cliff.

I lay him on the table and brought out some herbal medicines.

I grasped my hands around the propeller that had impaled him and tugged it out. With it came the sound of thick, ripping flesh and a scream from his bloody tentacles.

“It’s ok…it’s out now…”

I bandaged up where his arm used to be and picked the shrapnel out of his slimy flesh.

By the time I was done he was barely conscious…the pain had done a lot to him. Feeling quite sympathetic, I began the healing chant.

“Euo…Euo Euo…Euo Euo Euo…”

He jolted and quivered several times, but then in an instant sighed and relaxed.

“What is your name?” I asked him.

“Y…Yur…” he struggled to speak. He grabbed my primitive knife and dug into the wooden table.

He carved into the table the word Yurich.

Yurich the slig.

He then collapsed and, as far as I could tell, fell asleep.

When it came morning I took him out to the river and bathed the dried, crusty blood off his shivering, slimy body.

“I…just have to say…thank you, mud.”

My eyes darted around nervously. “Aw…nah, it was nothing…”

“I have now seen mudokons in a new light…gone are the days of beating you guys to a pulp on my break.”

“Uh…thanks?”

“Yeah.”

“But looks like my career as a grenadier is over…it’d be near impossible to operate the damn copter with one fucking arm. Looks like back to ground patrol for me.”

“Uh…yeah…”

“Well, see ya…uh…”

“Finn.”

“See ya, Finn. By the way, nice ponytail you got there.” He pointed to my abnormal purple and green striped ponytail.

“Uh…yeah. Thanks. See ya…um…”

“Yurich, remember? Just think of it as 'You’re Rich'.” He giggled at his play on words.

“Uh...'You’re Rich'. Got it. See ya, Yurich.”

“See ya, kid.”

He crawled off in the direction of the mountains as best he could, lacking an arm.

------------------------------

I woke up in an instant, with Garik’s pale green face smiling back at me.

“C’mon, buddy! It’s the anniversary of Abe’s escape! Let’s head down to the feast, we’re already late!”

Good odd.

It had already been a year since my encounter with Yurich.

I groaned, feeling nauseous and threw up at Garik’s feet.

“It’s already been a fucking year.”

“I know, buddy…it must hurt. But everyone’s probably forgotten about it.”

I chuckled. “Thanks, Garik.”

“C’mon, let’s get going. Just don’t think about it much.”

I chuckled once again.

“Thanks, Garik.”

As I got up and walked towards the door, I saw the carving still in the table.

Yurich.

I growled and kicked the leg of the table.

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  #9  
05-05-2004, 07:12 PM
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Very good. Although if I were Finn, I would've made Yurich promise to not go back to the industrial life.

“But looks like my career as a grenadier is over…it’d be near impossible to operate the damn copter with one ****ing arm. Looks like back to ground patrol for me.”

I'd be like, "Whatever dude. I just saved your life. You owe me a life debt. I'm not letting you go back to work for the industrials."

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  #10  
05-06-2004, 07:23 AM
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Its Yurich's choice, i think Finn was in a kind of trance, he wasn't sure what was happening, what with the attack. Anyway, it could mess up the whole story that way (though I don't know but i got a feeling...)

Anyway, another great chapter, can't wait to see what happens next! Keep it up!
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  #11  
05-06-2004, 10:47 AM
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Yeah, that makes sense. Finn probably was in shock.

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  #12  
05-06-2004, 02:53 PM
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I betcha either:
Yurich was tortured for information about Finn's village, and they're going back for another raid, or
Yurich went willingly with information, got a promotion, and is going to lead another attack on the village.

But that's just what I would do if I were writing it. Probably.

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  #13  
05-06-2004, 06:32 PM
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Chapter 3: A Fresh Start




We clambored down the long, winding dirt path through the lush rainforest of tropical trees. As we got closer, I could hear the faint sound of tribal drums getting louder and louder. Finally, we reached the break in the trees and I gazed at the beautiful, prosperous village, only dimly lit by the faint orange light of the sunrise. Everyone had their ceremonial paint on and were dancing around the enormous, radiant fire licking the orange sky. There was laughter and cheerful greetings echoing all around me.

I stepped forward into the sunlight and walked into the village.

It suddenly became silent. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me. The elders shook their heads in shame; several children started crying.

Someone somewhere in the crowd cried “YOU BASTARD!”.

I looked at Garik, attempting to coax away the lump in my throat. He patted me on the shoulder and sighed.

I turned around and headed towards the Temple. Garik soon followed.


--------------------------

Once we were inside the temple. I stopped and turned to Garik.


“Hey Garik…can we talk?”

“Yeah, sure buddy…what’s wrong?”

I stared at my feet, holding back the tears.

“It’s just…I don’t know…lately I’ve been…questioning myself.”

“What? How’s that?”

“I’ve realized I…I hate very little aspect of myself…my personality, my thought process, what I think, how I think, what I do, what I say…I hate it…I hate it all!”

I pounded my fists on the temple, screaming and cursing. I suddenly felt weak and collapsed to the ground. I grabbed my knees, shivering on the cold stone floor.

“I hate me…I fucking hate me…”

I could see in Garik’s eyes he was scared to the bone. His hands trembling, he knelt down beside me and grabbed me by the shoulders.

“Listen to me, Finn…you are my best friend, my only friend. You are a great guy, you hear me? You have nothing at all wrong with you…don’t let anyone else tell you different! You hear me? Do you?”

I shook my head.

“I’m a fucking moron, everybody knows it. I hate every single fucking thing I do, say, feel, act, think…I just want to throw away this life…get a new start. I’ve fucked this one up too damn far.”

Garik stopped and stared at me.

“Wh…what do you mean?”

I had stopped shivering. I propped myself up against the stone tablet behind me, staring at Garik.

“You…you’re perfect, Garik. You’re handsome, intelligent, level-headed…you’ve got the whole package. Your healing service has brought blessing to this village…everyone loves you, Garik. Everyone wishes they could be just like you, Garik.”

His lip trembled and he slowly backed away. I started walking towards him.

“You’re scaring me, Finn, stop it…”

“I know I sure wish I could be just like you, Garik.”

“Stop it…”

“I need a fresh start, Garik, a new beginning…”

“Stop it, Finn! Finn!”

I smiled and bent down. I slowly and carefully crossed my legs and raised my hands to his face. I clenched it with a crushing grip and pulled him towards me. He tried to scream.

I started to chant.

“Euo Eeyuo…Euo Eeyuo…Euo Eeyuo…Euo Eeyuo…”

He howled in pain and covered his pounding, pulsating temples. His body began to shake and quiver. His eyes rolled back into his head and he started foaming at the mouth.

I felt a massive surge of energy.

It was complete.

A fresh start.





-------------

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  #14  
05-07-2004, 02:43 AM
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Realy interesting. I liked the ending of this chapter. Very good.

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  #15  
05-07-2004, 06:36 AM
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Oooooh, very chilling. It left me wanting more!

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  #16  
05-07-2004, 11:38 AM
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C'mon go on with that story...

.:VaniLLaKiLLah:.
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  #17  
05-08-2004, 03:48 AM
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Dude this is one great, yet depressing story Mac. I can't belive what Finn did to Garik. That scene in the Temple really sorta disturbed me, as I can just picture what happened in my mind. I can't wait to read the next chapter.

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  #18  
05-08-2004, 12:44 PM
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Holy crap!
That can't be grood.

But keep going, Dave likes.

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  #19  
05-10-2004, 09:41 AM
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Ooh, neat! Keep 'em coming.

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  #20  
05-10-2004, 10:20 PM
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What all of the above said... only... louder!
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  #21  
05-28-2004, 10:15 AM
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What happened? It was just getting good and suddenly the chapters stopped! Anyway, I love you're story. It is a little depressing and I cant wait to read more. I can see that you are obviously a good writer so I am off to read Ben's oddysee.
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  #22  
05-28-2004, 01:10 PM
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Thanks!

But I did not write Ben's Oddysee...I forgot who wrote that, but it wasn't me. But I did write two other stories: Rico's Oddysee and Lily's Oddysee.

About the lack of updatedness lately...I'm insanely busy. Although I will try to sit down and write a new chapter or two in the next couple of days. Don't worry, I'm not abandoning this story like I did the others.

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  #23  
05-30-2004, 01:09 AM
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That's weird, I'm sure Splat said that you did write Ben's oddysee. Well if you didn't then I'll go and read Rico's oddysee!
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  #24  
06-01-2004, 10:08 AM
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Uh, but didn't Ben's oddysee have your name on it? I'll have to look that one up. And I've never even heard of Rico's oddysee. Are you sure Mac? Or have you changed the name recently and are trying to be discreet? Or am I just delusioned? *walks off, trying to count his fingers*
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