Questions, dear readers.
Question 1:
You hear an urban legend about a videotape. However, rather than being some dejected pre-DVD copy of Minority Report, as 90% of the VHS tapes I seem to see nowadays are, this is a magical videotape that kills people when they watch it. Do you:
A: Say "That's interesting" and continue to do something more worthwhile, such as individually labelling the flakes of your breakfast cereal,
B: Say "Ooh, that's creepy. I'm glad I'm not a dumbass who watches killer videotapes for shits and giggles" and leave it the HELL alone,
OR
C: Consciously and independently track down said videotape and watch it like some sort of moron.
Question 2:
You ask your seven-year-old daughter to choose a spot for your inexplicably mid-semester vacation. She chooses a town called 'Silent Hill' in the middle of nowhere with absolutely no features that could possibly attract tourists other than a second-rate amusement park and a 'city hall' that actually runs somewhat more like a mall.
Do you:
A: Say "Why the hell would we want to go to a place with all the tourist appeal of Belgium? Let's go and rent a log cabin instead",
B: Think "It's a town called Silent Hill in a backwater hick community where everyone stokes their sister which has been converted into a tourist trap for no readily avaolable reason. Sounds slightly iffy, I think we'd do better to stay away" and suggest a vacation on a lovely salty island instead,
OR
C: Drive halfway across the continent, keep on driving when you see reasonable evidence for the unreported, recent and INEXPLICABLE death or serious injury of a police officer, and then get SURPRISED when the town with the creepy name turns out to be some sort of GATEWAY TO HELL.
Question 3:
Your brother is some kind of freak who follows novelists into creepy old mansions reputed to have housed scary Shinto cultist families that tear apart sexy women with ropes. Rather predictably, he has, in fact, got himself into a bit of a jam, and has been missing for over a week.
Do you:
A: Call the police and report him as a missing person, and launch a few campaigns to track down your dearly loved sibling,
B: Gather a search party, stick together, and enter the mansion with pleanty of safety equipment in broad daylight to track him down,
OR
C: Sneak away and enter the mansion in the middle of the night, on your own, armed with nothing but a tiny, battery-operated flashlight and some herbal supplements which you have in case your CHRONIC COD LIVER OIL IMBALANCE condition gets out of hand, and neglect to turn back when you see transluscent, floating people making creepy faces at you.
YOU DECIDE FOLKS!!!
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When if doubt, stop and think... "What would Warney do?"
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