Know any funny jokes?

Tori · #1 03-05-2003, 09:12 PM

I have funny jokes you might hate them but I love them

O.K there are 2 boys trouble and shut up one day they were joy riding trouble looked so far out the window he fell out a few minutes later a cop pulls over shatup he say whats your name shutup WHATS YOUR NAME shutup are you looking for trouble na he just fell out of the window back there

Did you like it oh yay give jokes of your own too

Joshy · #2 03-06-2003, 01:49 AM

Your one didn't make sense...

A young boy had been taken for his first visit to a nudist camp by his parents. He was surprised at the different sizes of the male organs and mentioned it to his father. The father, being rather well endowed, explained that it was a measure of intelligence, the big ones being smart and the small ones being dumb.
That afternoon the father was looking for his wife and asked his son if he had seen his mother. "I saw her about ten minutes ago, She was with a real dumb man, but he seemed to be getting smarter every minute."

paramiteabe · #3 03-06-2003, 01:57 AM

Well I know some good jokes but I won't say them its not worth it.

Maybe later I am tired right now.

Silversnow · #4 03-06-2003, 04:56 PM

There was a man who was worried that his wife was cheating on him. So one day he went home earlier from work and found her, as he expected, naked in bed. He looked for her lover and saw a man running across the street. He picked up the frigde, threw it out of the window and watched in delight as it landed straight on the running man. But, ufortunately, he got a heart attack and died.
A little later, three men are standing outside the gate to heaven. A angel went up to the first of them.
"And why are you here?" he asked. The man told him the story (he's the husband, by the way) and was let in. The angel asked the second man the same thing.
"Well, I was visiting my grandmother who has been sick for a long time. And when I sat there and had some coffee, I noticed I had a very short time to get back to my train. So I had to run. But when I was halfway across the street, I got a fridge in my head and died!"
The angel let him in and asked the third man the same thing.
"Well, imagine this." he says. "I'm sitting in a fridge..."

Splat · #5 03-06-2003, 06:34 PM

That was a really good one silversnow.
But how are these:

A man walked in to a bar
Ouch!
Two men walked in to a bar.
Ouch! Ouch!
Three men walked in to a bar.
You'd think at least one of them would have seen it!

And on a totally different note:
A man walked in to a pub and ordered a beer. He drank it and was about to leave when a man sitting at a table by the window shouted to him, "Oy, Donkey, get me a pint of beer."
So the man got him a pint of beer and was about to leave when the other man shouted again, "Oy, Donkey, get me a bag of crisps."
So the man got him a packet of crisps and was about to leave when the other man shouted to him, again, "Oy, Donkey, get me another pint."
So the man went to the bar to get him his pint when the barman asked him, "why does he keep calling you Donkey?"
The man replied "Oh, it's all right, eeyorr ways does that!"

Tori · #6 03-07-2003, 07:43 PM

One day there was a little boy in the shower with his mom she says do not look up or down he looks up and says mommy mommy what are those they are my head lights he looks down and says mommy what is that my my bush the next night in the shower with his dad do not look down he looked down daddy daddy whats that my snake 12:00 that night the boy goes to his parents room and says mommy turn on your head lights there is a snake in your bush

I heard that one when I was 5

Joshy · #7 03-07-2003, 10:58 PM

You should add speech things so we know who is talking in that joke.

Tori · #8 03-08-2003, 12:54 AM

Sorry but had to leave in a few minutes barly had time to type

Facsimile · #9 03-08-2003, 05:11 AM

:

Originally posted by BIG BRO SLIG#1
what are jokes if we all don't like them thus making them unfunny.

They are alright. I admit, I have heard them all told a lot better. But I suppose they wouldn't be funny if you didn't understand them...

Fez · #10 03-08-2003, 02:34 PM

what the hell did u just say??????????????/

Big_Bro_Slig222 · #11 03-08-2003, 08:42 PM

A guy meets a woman in a bar. Things go well, and voila, they end up back at his place in bed. During their "romp", lo and behold, she has a seizure. Twiching, frothing at the mouth, you know the deal. Unluckyily for her, her male friend is a moron and exclaims, "This is the best sex I ever had!" So he finishes up, and she is still having a siezure. Out of fear, the man rushes his lady friend to the hospital ER. He runs inside supporting her, goes to the secreary and says:
"I think her orgasm's stuck."

Facsimile · #12 03-09-2003, 01:28 AM

Hahaha that's a good one.

:

what the hell did u just say??????????????/

Sorry, who were you talking to?

oko · #13 03-09-2003, 08:10 AM

happyguy,silversnow you're sooo funny

i don't have any jokes sorry