Myths and Legends...of the Homosexual kind (In short, Homosexual folklore!!)

Jacob · #1 07-19-2002, 10:16 PM

Now that the insomnia has kicked in and i, truly am, going insane i thought "Hey, what the Hell...we've got one gay topic. Lets have one more for goodluck!!" Obviously, i am predicting a young death for this little one and soon she shall be dragged to the depths of Abyss for eternity *Sigh* Sooooo, Homosexual Myths and Legends, what have you heard about my people? Is it true? Ask me...and others and im sure they will give you a bent answer (See what i did there...instead of 'Straight' i put...bent...*Sniggers* I am soooo kool!!). Ask such things as;

"Do all gays answer a stupid question with sarcasm?"
"Do all gays secretly 'want' straight guys?"
"Is it true that Shakespere was gay?"
"Gays are really good dancers, and so are black guys. So would it be the end of the straight-white dancing era if we had a gay-black guy?"
"Gays are the modern day versions of Mary Poopins...ahem, Poppins, right?"

And i (As will others, apart from Danny cos he's some sort of fiend. I mean, come on, what gay guy in their right mind finds clowns scary!?) will try and answer them as bently as i can (See...i did it again *Sniggers to self some more*)

In answer to the above questions;
(1) Yes
(2) Some do, some dont. Such as some like clowns (Normal Homosexuals) and some dont (Danny).
(3) - Who am i to judge?
(4) - No, it would be the end of the WORLD as we know it!!
(5) - Unfortunatly no. The Bisexual guys are the Modernised versions of Mary Poppins. The Gay guys are the Chimney Sweeps.

Any other Questions?
(Please!! Dont make this topics life dull and short!!)

Edit; Just so you know, if you dont reply i shall sing. Here is a taster.

Ahem,
*Guitar plays in background*
# I never meant to be so bad to you
One thing I said that I would never do
One look from you and I would fall from grace
And that would wipe this smile right from my face

Do you remember when we used to dance
And incidence arose from circumstance
One thing lead to another we were young
And we would scream together songs unsung

{chorus}
It was the heat of the moment
Telling me what your heart meant
Heat of the moment, shone in your eyes #

Yeh, be afraid. (By the by, that song is by 'Asia')

Armed Slig · #2 07-19-2002, 10:23 PM

"Do homosexuals be room-mates with women on purpose?" I heard one time that homosexuals are room-mates with women because they like the same kinds of clothing.

Danny · #3 07-20-2002, 01:33 PM

:

Originally posted by Jacob
Such as some like clowns (Normal Homosexuals)

I'll assume this is a random comment that isn't actually meant to make any sense...

Gluk Schmuck · #4 07-20-2002, 06:29 PM

I've got a good one:
"Do all homosexuals have and 'agenda'?"

Jacob · #5 07-20-2002, 10:09 PM

:

"Do all homosexuals have an 'agenda'?"

No, not all. The Evil one's, such as i, do however. And they usually succeed. BWAHAHAAA etc etc

:

"Do homosexuals be room-mates with women on purpose?"

Yes. They are more comfortable with women, however, they dont wear womens clothes. They just like shopping with them, as men are such bastards to shop with.

Gluk Schmuck · #6 07-20-2002, 10:39 PM

:

Originally posted by Jacob
1. They are more comfortable with women, however, they dont wear womens clothes.

2. They just like shopping with them, as men are such bastards to shop with.

1. I can relate to that. In real life the company of girls is great. I used to just sit at the back of the class and gossip with Faitma during child dvelopment. And at the front of the class in chemistry. Oh, how I loved GCSEs... Oh, and at the front of the class with Amy in graphics.
And online I like the company of women and open-minded guys the best.

2. I can relate to that too, my mum lent me enough money so that I could get a GC on Thursday.

Danny · #7 07-20-2002, 10:56 PM

Girls are just so much easier to talk to. Boys just try and cheer you up so that you can stop talking about things that they don't feel comfortable talking about, whereas girls actually want to listen to your problems, and then tell you theirs. They are so much more open, generally speaking. I mean, there are a few who are just shallow and bitchy and don't really want to talk about anything except clothes and big brother and how so-and-so is a bitch, but they are very much in the minority...

Armed Slig · #8 07-20-2002, 11:48 PM

Do homosexuals do drugs too?

Gluk Schmuck · #9 07-21-2002, 09:23 AM

:

Originally posted by Armed Slig
Do homosexuals do drugs too?

Some do, some don't. Some, like Dan, need to use drugs to make their friends laugh when they come on MSN and forums and they're absolutely stoned. They post/say absolutely nothing comprehensible but their friends just laugh their heads off.

Danny · #10 07-21-2002, 03:29 PM

:

Originally posted by Gluk Schmuck
Some do, some don't. Some, like Dan, need to use drugs to make their friends laugh when they come on MSN and forums and they're absolutely stoned. They post/say absolutely nothing comprehensible but their friends just laugh their heads off.

Oh, come on, that's happened just three times! Six, at most! Possibly seven, but no more... Besides, most of those times I was just drunk, so no illegal substances were involved...

In answer to the question, there is a good probability that they will. It's not that homosexuality causes drug use, or that drug use causes homosexuality, but homosexuals will tend to be more broadminded that heterosexuals, and so more likely to experiment. I think I started smoking weed before I realised I was bisexual, but they both happened at roughly the same time, now that I think about it...

Jacob · #11 07-21-2002, 04:21 PM

:

I mean, there are a few who are just shallow and bitchy and don't really want to talk about anything except clothes and big brother and how so-and-so is a bitch, but they are very much in the minority...

True. They're my fave peeps though. If you have many boy enemies (Enema's...lol) such as me then they are good to be friends with. They make up malicious rumours. Not all of the bitches are like that though...some are nice until you get them riled up. *Sighs happily*

:

and don't really want to talk about anything except clothes

Ahem. I shall now quote from the gay rule book:
Rule number 3: Gays must enjoy talking about clothes, they are not to be blasphemous against clothes or any other gay/girl who talks about clothes for over 30 minutes. IF, however, a gay/girl talks about clothes for over one and a half hours then you may be blasphemous. Cos, well, doesn't that peep have a life!?

Danny · #12 07-21-2002, 05:22 PM

Oh, Chris, and I thought you were open-minded. You're as bad as a homophobe sometimes, with your stereotypes. Just because I'm not ridiculously camp doesn't mean I have any less right to be attracted to men as you, it just means that I'm not defined by my sexuality like you are.

Jacob · #13 07-21-2002, 05:28 PM

:

Oh, Chris, and I thought you were open-minded. You're as bad as a homophobe sometimes, with your stereotypes. Just because I'm not ridiculously camp doesn't mean I have any less right to be attracted to men as you, it just means that I'm not defined by my sexuality like you are.

I believe i speak for everyone why i say "Ride this Miss Daisy!!"

Jacob · #14 07-22-2002, 01:04 AM

Anyways, just before these questions are asked i would like to answer them;

Questions
(1) - Can Gay guys sense other gay guys?
(2) - Gay guys have the power to manipulate objects with their mind...rite?
(3) - The Gay people eat dogs, true?
(4) - All Gays are into bondage...rite?
(5) - Lets boooooogie...

(1) - Yes, its called 'Gaydar' all homosexual men have it. Some Bi's guys have it too, although its not as strong as Homosexuals.
(2) - They wish.
(3) - Korean homosexuals do, yes.
(4) - No, this is a misconception throughout the uneducated
(5) - No.

If you want to tell if a guy is gay or not the best way is to look at his back for a vast amount of time. Usually gays/bi's will turn around when this happens.
Or
You could try walking past them, looking at their eyes as you do so. If they are gay they will quickly glance you up and down, momentarily stopping at your groin area. Its a very subtle stop, so be observant.

Armed Slig · #15 07-23-2002, 01:19 AM

:

Originally posted by Jacob: I had lots of stuffed animals too. I had a Panda, Elephant, Dog and Cat all at 4-5 ft. They seemed massive when i was lil'. I used to have Tea-Parties with them and everything...it was sooo much fun!!

Do young homosexuals play girly games too? No offense, bratch.

Danny · #16 07-23-2002, 07:19 PM

:

Originally posted by Jacob
Yes, its called 'Gaydar' all homosexual men have it. Some Bi's guys have it too, although its not as strong as Homosexuals.

If you want to tell if a guy is gay or not the best way is to look at his back for a vast amount of time. Usually gays/bi's will turn around when this happens.

You could try walking past them, looking at their eyes as you do so. If they are gay they will quickly glance you up and down, momentarily stopping at your groin area. Its a very subtle stop, so be observant.

For those of you who don't know yet, Chris has very fixed stereotypes of Homosexuals. In that way, he's as bad as a Homophobe, really. I'd better clarify here that this is all utter bullshit. Sexuality is one facet of a person's personality (except for Chris, who lets it dominate his whole being, even though he's really a closet Hetersexual), and you cannot generalise about them in any way.

Chris, have you ever actually met a gay person?

Jacob · #17 07-23-2002, 08:12 PM

Yeh, all 5 said Gaydar was real. And they gave me that infomation. Also, the 11 i spoke to on Yahoo told me things similar to that. They were common stereo-types and i personally dont believe in labelling cos sexuality is faar to complex...but people want to label things so they feel "Safer" and so thats the label...and most is correct.

Danny · #18 07-23-2002, 08:50 PM

:

Originally posted by Jacob
Yeh, all 5 said Gaydar was real. And they gave me that infomation. Also, the 11 i spoke to on Yahoo told me things similar to that. They were common stereo-types and i personally dont believe in labelling cos sexuality is faar to complex...but people want to label things so they feel "Safer" and so thats the label...and most is correct.

I think we can probably put this down to one of two things:
1. Differences between Hull and York - I think I got the better deal there...
2. "Hey, let's have a laugh with that straight kid who wants to be gay! What shall we tell him? Yeah, good idea, let's pretend that all Gays are like the stereotypes! Then he'll go around acting stupid and thinking it's how all gays act... *snigger* "

Stanley · #19 07-24-2002, 01:49 PM

You no your vary comfertabal about your self, Good job on the articall but I must say Are you gay You cant expeckt a nice responce If you wont give nice responces to other people ok.

STANLEY

Inploier : Morphious

salty pretzils · #20 07-24-2002, 03:42 PM

Is it true that sailors in the wars years ago used to turn gay often because there were a lack of women on board? I heard it somewhere...

Gluk Schmuck · #21 07-24-2002, 05:11 PM

:

Originally posted by salty pretzils
Is it true that sailors in the wars years ago used to turn gay often because there were a lack of women on board? I heard it somewhere...

Nobody can change their sexuality. They can change who they have sex with because that is an option but they can't change their sexuality.

The sailors in question may have already been gay or bisexual but some may have just been horny so they chose to have sex with other males.

Danny · #22 07-24-2002, 09:38 PM

I think that the sailors were either bisexual to begin with (which I believe everybody is, really) or they were just closing their eyes and thinking of women...

salty pretzils · #23 07-25-2002, 07:01 AM

Thanx guys.

molluck2 · #24 07-25-2002, 07:26 AM

and another thing Jacob, if your homosexual that doesn't mean that you should only post threads about that(2,3 thread are o.k. but as many as you post...) your like a fanatic. and what's the deal posting them, you wanna make other people fanatics too?

Jacob · #25 07-25-2002, 10:26 AM

(1) - Danny is just jealous cos he doesn't have Gaydar.
(2) - Danny lives in York...York is renowned for its 'Trendies' who are really Townies (York...ener people just get IMMENSLY confused really)

:

and another thing Jacob,(1) if your homosexual that doesn't mean that you should only post threads about that(2,3 thread are o.k. (2)but as many as you post...)(3) your like a fanatic.(4) and what's the deal posting them,(5) you wanna make other people fanatics too?

(1) - Im not, im sposedly a Closet-Heterosexual...which is interesting. Now i have another person telling me what sexuality i am...

(2) - Idiot boy, i have only posted two, maybe three!!

(3) - Yes, i have posters of Gay Guys on my wall and i constantly talk about them...24/7.

(4) - I have posted three, and each are IMMENSLY interesting.

(5) - Why would i bother making low-life cretins who i can barely stand fanatics about Homosexualism? Please, i have common sense.

Sydney · #26 07-25-2002, 11:07 AM

:

Originally posted by Danny
I think that the sailors were either bisexual to begin with (which I believe everybody is, really)

I disagree.

Other popular misconceptions about homosexuals is that they're all effeminate and have a predisposition towards paedophilia.

Jacob · #27 07-25-2002, 03:09 PM

Its like in Prison, the guys are straight but they just turn to the other inmates for sexual release. It doesn't mean anything and the chances are high that when they get out they will go back to women.

Danny · #28 07-25-2002, 06:27 PM

:

Originally posted by Jacob
(2) - Danny lives in York...York is renowned for its 'Trendies' who are really Townies (York...ener people just get IMMENSLY confused really)

Whereas Chris lives in Hull. Nuff said...

:

(4) - I have posted three, and each are IMMENSLY interesting.

lol

Jacob · #29 07-25-2002, 06:39 PM

:

Whereas Chris lives in Hull. Nuff said...

Yes...i do...and i am not proud. But know this fellow forumers. As soon as i am rich and powerful you shall know my fury. Especially you...Pinky...HAHA...HA...HAAAAA...and so on and so forth.

Danny · #30 07-25-2002, 06:50 PM

:

Originally posted by Jacob
Yes...i do...and i am not proud.

*pats Chris on the head* Don't worry, I sympathise. I've been there...