Totally new controller features

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

In my topic about the stupid sad bastard who's named himself after his PS2, we went off on a tangent about console plagiarism, and Tom jokingly took this to an extreme, pointing out that every single console has used the same ideas as every other, and that for true originality a controller would have to only use features that no other controller has.

Well, I doubt one could make a controller that only used new ideas, but I though it was too cool an idea to stay in that silly topic, so I made it its own one.

Here are my ideas, post yours!

• Controllers that bounce so they don't get damaged when you drop them (I've lost two Dual Shocks and a Dual Shock 2 this way!).
• A gel-filled instead of rigid plastic shell that moulds itself to your hand contours.
• A warning light when you've been playing for over 3 hours.
• An automatic cable-retract so that you don't have to waste 40 seconds winding the cable round the controller so that it doesn't dangle over the table and trip Doris up, causing the controller to come crashing to the floor...
• A voice that says 'you're crap!' when you keep coming in 7th in WipEout Fusion.
• Vanilla-scented thumbsticks that taste nice when you chew them in frustration.

[Gluk Schmuck]

I'd like it if they reduced sweating!

[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

I sent this email to Sony:

Dear Sirs and Madams,

I have enjoyed playing on Sony consoles since 1998, and I have some suggestions which I think may improve the current design of the Dual Shock 2.

1. The Dual Shock 2 is a fragile device and is easily permanently damaged when subjected to high stresses; specifically, being dropped.
I think one possible solution may be to replace, or cover, the rigid plastic shell with a more flexible and rubber-based, and thus more resistant and shock-absorbing, one.

2. Ergonomics and comfortability must always be considered when designing a controller, and I find that your company has done this very well.
However, it is impossible to create a controller that will be comfortable for all users. If the rigid plastic shell was covered with a flexible extra membrane, and the space between the two filled with gel, this would allow it to mould itself to the hand contours of the user, thus allowing a more comfortable experience. The gel could also be dyed easily, allowing an easy possibility of colour variations.

3. The cable of the controller gets in the way when not in use.
I think a cable-retracting device (similar to; but miniaturised; the one used in mains cord extensions) ought to be attached to the cable of the Dual Shock 2. It could be unwound to the required length during use, and retracted quickly when not in use and the controller unplugged.

I thank you for your time, and leave you, faithfully,

Ms. Anna G. Williams

And got this reply:

Dear Ms Williams,

Thank you for your recent email.

We appreciate and value all customers comments and suggestions. While we do try to take all comments & suggestions on-board, you must appreciate that we receive thousands of emails regarding our products and accessories.

I cannot confirm for you that PlayStation will be designing a new controller after appreciating your ideas, but I can thank you on SCE UK's behalf for your valuable input. Your ideas will be passed on to our head office, along with other suggestions we receive.

Thank you once again for your email.

Kindest regards,

Zeeshan

Customer Services Agent
SCE UK

How nice of them.

[Gluk Schmuck]

Another nice name!

I can't wait for the DualShock 3...