Get Packing

enchilado · #1 05-20-2011, 05:21 PM

With the Lord Jesus Christ set to pop in tomorrow and take some mates back to his place for a sleepover, I hope we've all packed up our PJs and toothbrushes and are ready to have a good time.

And to you non-Christians I have but this to say: go to Hell, heathens.

Sekto Springs · #2 05-20-2011, 05:24 PM

I heard that the actual rapture isn't until October, and that we simply have to repent by tomorrow.

Not that it effects me either way.

enchilado · #3 05-20-2011, 05:30 PM

No, He'll be rapturing us at 6 PM on the 21st of May and blowing up the Earth in October.

T-nex · #4 05-20-2011, 05:32 PM

Yea. We will suffer for 5 months

and stuff...

I'll repent to the voodoo god. Will that piss off jesus? o.o

Sekto Springs · #5 05-20-2011, 05:33 PM

I'll be looting. Anyone else?

***Alcar*** · #6 05-20-2011, 05:35 PM

Yep, looting is definitely up there on my list

Alcar...

Goresplatter · #7 05-20-2011, 06:19 PM

I will be making a sacrifice to our one true master, Mehrunes Dagon.

You cannot escape the master's vigilance!

***Nate*** · #8 05-20-2011, 06:31 PM

enchilado · #9 05-20-2011, 06:35 PM

I would totally do that, except I think the church carpark would be funnier.

metroixer · #10 05-20-2011, 06:37 PM

:

holy shit HOLY SHIT waking up early tomorrow

e: on a more serious note as I think someone has already said in the religion thread jesus has outright said we will have no idea when rapture comes so I doubt it will happen when a ton of old people expect it.

I'll be at a funeral!

Strike Witch · #11 05-20-2011, 08:23 PM

Let's listen to some appropriate music.

Wings of Fire · #12 05-20-2011, 08:48 PM

As a heads up, Fiji should start feeling the rapture in eighty or so minutes.

T-nex · #13 05-20-2011, 09:25 PM

:

Genius XD

What would be epic is if a whole bunch of people did it... make it legit.

enchilado · #14 05-21-2011, 12:12 AM

He said He would come and He hasn't. This was my last chance. I waited for Him. And He hasn't come.

***Nate*** · #15 05-21-2011, 12:38 AM

:

As a heads up, Fiji should start feeling the rapture in eighty or so minutes.

God doesn't follow our man-made constructs of timezones. He's gonna Rapture us* at the anniversary of Noah's Flood, whatever time of day that happened in whichever location it happened and bugger the local time in the rest of the world.

*Actually, that should probably be 'them'.

LDG519 · #16 05-21-2011, 12:48 AM

happy rapture everyone...hang on a sec..

STM · #17 05-21-2011, 01:05 AM

I'll be turning into Ned Flanders for a while guys. Diddly.

No but on a serious note you only believe that the Rapture is going to happen today if you believe Bible canon in that the world was created 13,000BC~ So not to worry?

Dynamithix · #18 05-21-2011, 01:59 AM

OH SIHT SO WE GUNA DIEE TODAY??=

Crashpunk · #19 05-21-2011, 02:13 AM

This whole thing is hilarious.

SEE YOU ALL IN HELL! YOU BASTARDS

Havoc · #20 05-21-2011, 02:52 AM

That old guy made 18 MILLION dollars in donations. Why the hell would you need donations when the world is going to end and who is that much of a moron to actually donate to someone saying that.

The guy deserves the money and the people who donated never deserved it to begin with.

STM · #21 05-21-2011, 02:57 AM

Though he'll get his comeuppance for misleading people of faith in the end.

JennyGenesis · #22 05-21-2011, 03:09 AM

Where the hell has all this come from?

Why this date?

I've woken up today to find it all over Facebook.

STM · #23 05-21-2011, 03:56 AM

It's one of those happy clapper dates, they come up every nine years or so, some crack pot thinks he can calculate it by multiplying the number of occupants in heaven then divides it by his nasal hairs...it's all very complicated.

Ridg3 · #24 05-21-2011, 04:17 AM

Apparently, Sir Isaac Newton disagrees with today and claims that this shit's going down 39 years ahead of schedule.

STM · #25 05-21-2011, 04:49 AM

The whole thing about Revelation is we don't know when its going to happen. Silly false prophets.

Dynamithix · #26 05-21-2011, 05:23 AM

*49 years.

Dixanadu · #27 05-21-2011, 07:41 AM

Load of shite.

Ridg3 · #28 05-21-2011, 07:53 AM

Well, I'll be waving at you when the Lord comes down on his chariot to whisk me away to the promised land.

At Dynamitesticks:

Dixanadu · #29 05-21-2011, 07:58 AM

Go to heaven, then. You'll be bored to tears praying all the time.

At least in hell you can have a good time. Good ol' sesh going with Saddam and Osama, dodging Hitler's calls. Should be a blast.

STM · #30 05-21-2011, 07:58 AM

Ridg, will you also ask Jesus if he wouldn't mind postponing the Rapture till after Doctor Who?

I'm actually contemplating getting out of my dressing gown and into some jeans, just in case.