from Sex thread: Are you gay if...

[Strike Witch]

Just figured it would be better as a discussion on its' own.

So, what makes a fag a fag? is it the act? the intent? The fantasy of getting raped by a starfish?

Discuss.

[Alcar]

The attraction.

Alcar...

[Nate]

What he said.

[Havoc]

To me there's a difference between being gay and being a fag. Being gay is just being a regular homosexual. Being a fag is dressing up in tight leather, the common 'gay' voice and wearing lipstick or whatever, you get the idea.

[Nate]

I think that depends on the person who's using the term 'fag', the context and the tone of voice. But the rare times that I say 'fag' are generally to imply much of what Havoc said.

[Pilot]

In my experience, the word 'fag' can be used in gay circles without a second thought of having given offense; so if you're gay it seems like calling another gay man a fag is not offensive. If you're straight calling a gay man a fag then it's generally taken on the offense.

Very much like black people calling each other 'niggers'. It's okay brother to brother but for a white guy to call a black guy the same will cause some problems and is "racist."

Also like Nate says a lot of it is connected with 'tone of voice' used. It can be said in a way that's 'dirty and exciting' or 'sarcastic and hurtful'. Depends on the one saying it.

Just my .02

[Mac Sirloin]

Gay: A homosexual whose behaviors in terms of attraction are exactly like "straight people" only towards the same sex. This is a little vague, but pretty much what I think.

Fag: Someone who flaunts being homosexual in an attention grabbing way. No, not in the way they dress, or if they have a lisp or something, but if you call them a moron, and they say "WELL IT'S BECAUSE I'M GAY ISN'T IT" I'd consider them a fag and an attention whore. See: Taylor Twigg.

Faggot: Someone who kills you a lot in an online Video game.

[Hobo]

Faggot = you guys.
LOLOLOLOLOL

*Bans self*

[Anonyman!]

I'd go with physical/mental/emotional attraction.

The actual causes of teh gay are debatable, but I don't think real homosexuality is a choice for anyone.

[Pilot]

I'd go with physical/mental/emotional attraction.

The actual causes of teh gay are debatable, but I don't think real homosexuality is a choice for anyone.

Good point Anonymaster!. I'm going to be objective here for a moment to look at this because it's a topic that comes up again and again; especially here.

All three of those points are valid- physical, mental, and emotional... but I think that before we look at each of these points we have to forget everything we think we know about the subject; mainly the preconceived notions we have about homosexuality that have been 'conditioned' into us by society, in order to evaluate the whole subject clearly.

The overriding reason I say that is because I feel that some part of all of us sees homosexuality as being 'backwards' or 'wrong'... even if we ourselves are homosexual. Why? Why is it considered 'backward,' and even more so why do we feel that by being (some of us) openly gay that we are breaking some kind of 'social norm'?

The human body and psyche together are very versatile, and being so can adapt to many situations. The given situation and the way our bodies 'react' are respective to the given situation, and thus, as you said, homosexuality is not a choice for everyone. Are people 'born' gay? No... in fact I'd say that people are born 'asexual.'

When we understand that homosexuality is an 'adaptation' in order to deal with circumstances in our upbringing we understand how being gay is not so much a choice and how it is more a natural occurrence.

Those who would cringe at comparing humans to animals will not like to follow me through this point.... the point that in nature, it is actually quite common and natural for animals to display homosexual activity... either, in certain isolated cases where an animal displays a sexual preference for the same sex... or displays homosexual behavior during times of sexual frustration where a member of the opposite sex is not available. Is anyone seeing any parallels yet?

As for us, when we feel that we 'had no choice' in the matter, and that we've 'always been gay' there's little more to it than that. An overwhelming number of people I've talked to about this subject who are gay; in this example men, say that they has a dominant mother and either a non-existant or submissive father. Our bodies and psyche early on adapt and cause many chemical changes (many of our senses and the way our bodies work is by its own chemicals and variations of such) which make us identify with a certain sex. In many cases, it may be argued that gay men were brought up with dominant mother figures and thus identified with the opposite (again, either submissive or lacking father). This is why often gay men find the 'scent' of another man appealing, as such, just to spell out one example.

This is only one factor and does not hold true for everybody. It could also be argued by many that there are 'spiritual' lessons at hand by the experience of living a life as a homosexual, but this is a subject all on its own.

Going back to what Anonymaster said, I believe this presents some substance as to how and why there are said physical/mental/emotional attractions going on, and how we seek out another individual to help us meet these very real 'needs.'

The same goes for heterosexuals. They are 'straight' by the same measures and seek out that their 'needs' are also met by the same token. Homosexuality has been around since dirt and it will continue to remain, regardless of how we choose to look at and accept (or ostracize) it.

This comes down to the needs of the individual and sadly in many ways our 'advanced' modern society is not set up to cater to the individuals needs, as these needs get in the way of 'social good' Whuh?

Be yourself = Be happy. Do the first half and the equation finishes itself. There's nothing degenerate or immoral or about the way we are (speaking as a homosexual) ..... and so eventually, by hook or by crook, society's thinking is going to need to change drastically in order to heal ALL our 'social ills' (which are just flaws in thinking) and the only way to do this is for each person to be themselves.

After all, society is only the sum of its individuals.

[skillyaslig]

Well, my Great-Aunty is a lesbian, yet that was a Life Style choice for her.
The men she had been with were abusive, and harmed her, both physically, and emotionally, thus she chose to become intimate with other women, as women are not as violent (though there are some crazy bitches out there) as men in domestic situations.
By all accounts, she is happy with her partner, though is rather narked that she can't marry her...
But thats not the thing we are discussing.
So you can CHOOSE to be gay, in some sense.
Yet the majority of the time, it is kinda wired in there when you reach the sexual age, because, as Pilot said, when we are little, we are Asexual.

[Nemo]

You're gay if you're sexually attracted towards the same sex.

[Anonyman!]

Yes. That 'absent father, dominant mother' fits me perfectly.

[Alcar]

My mother has always been very dominant, but my father wasn't absent per se - as a child my family was a typical nuclear family with Dad at work all week, and Mum as a homemaker.

Alcar...

[Wings of Fire]

Your sexuality is a genetic predisposition, it takes environmental and social factors to trigger a long term preference.

[Nemo]

Your sexuality is a genetic predisposition, it takes environmental and social factors to trigger a long term preference.

Exactly my position on sexuality.

[mitsur]

First off, what Kastere said.

Second off, my personal policy with gay people is, I'm cool with it as long as they're not flaunting it, or actively trying to get into my pants.

Inb4 people claiming that's what they've been trying to do. It's fine here because it's the internet, not some bar.

[Wil]

Oh thank god you added that last paragraph. You nearly made me feel guilty!

[OANST]

I think the determining factor is a certain lilt of the pinky whilst drinking tea.


p.s. In response to the comments about people not having a problem with it as long as they don't hit on you. I have always been flattered when I get hit on by a gay man. I'm flattered when anyone hits on me. Plus, how do they know that you aren't into it if they don't put it out there? Gay people need love, too. Right? Right?

Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's like we always suspected and they aren't real people at all. They are just deviant machines looking to spoil the youth. Put 'em all on an island, right? With aids monkeys, right? I went too far with this whole devil's advocate thing, right?

[Wil]

I would be flattered but terrified if a girl was coming on to me. There’s a difference between being hit on by a gay man who will back down (or resort to teasing) when you politely decline, and being hounded by one.

This is all theoretical; no one ever comes on to me.

[Nate]

Except certain beardy-wierdies, of course.

I'm afraid I'm turning in to a homophobe. I went in to a store yesterday to look at shirts and the shop assistant was a man in his mid-late 30's who checked every single box of stereotype fagness. When I asked his opinion of whether the shirts worked well with the pants I had previously bought, his response was "I think they're hot, but they'd be hotter on you..." I chose not to respond, thinking that he'd get the hint that I wasn't interested. One any level. Whatsoever. But he must have taken that as a signal to move on, even to the point of attempting a conversation with me whilst I was in the change room and standing on his tiptoes to peer over the door at me. (Thank goodness I was still fully dressed at that stage).

In the end, I ignored all his suggestions, bought the shirt I liked and ended up getting out of there as fast as I could with the nagging feeling like I needed a shower to wash the sleaze off. The strange thing is, I can't work out whether he's naturally like that or if he thinks it will actually help make a sale if he's sleazily complementary to the guys that come in.

[OANST]

Except certain beardy-wierdies, of course.

I'm afraid I'm turning in to a homophobe. I went in to a store yesterday to look at shirts and the shop assistant was a man in his mid-late 30's who checked every single box of stereotype fagness. When I asked his opinion of whether the shirts worked well with the pants I had previously bought, his response was "I think they're hot, but they'd be hotter on you..." I chose not to respond, thinking that he'd get the hint that I wasn't interested. One any level. Whatsoever. But he must have taken that as a signal to move on, even to the point of attempting a conversation with me whilst I was in the change room and standing on his tiptoes to peer over the door at me. (Thank goodness I was still fully dressed at that stage).

In the end, I ignored all his suggestions, bought the shirt I liked and ended up getting out of there as fast as I could with the nagging feeling like I needed a shower to wash the sleaze off. The strange thing is, I can't work out whether he's naturally like that or if he thinks it will actually help make a sale if he's sleazily complementary to the guys that come in.

I think that just has more to do with the some guys are creepy thing. I hear that women run into this problem from time to time. Like, when I'm around.

[Pilot]

But he must have taken that as a signal to move on, even to the point of attempting a conversation with me whilst I was in the change room and standing on his tiptoes to peer over the door at me. (Thank goodness I was still fully dressed at that stage).

Hah!

[moxco]

What percentage of this forums mods are homosexaul?

[Leto]

only 1/3, 33.3.%. :O!

I'm shocked and disappointed.

[Nate]

Admins count for more and 100% of them are male-attracted.
One of them is female, but that's a different issue.

[OANST]

You aren't seriously counting Abe Babe, are you? 'Cause that would be silly.

[Leto]

no but we're counting YOU.

[OANST]

Hooray, I'm worth something! Except I know I'm really not.

[Leto]

Hooray, I'm worth something! Except I know I'm really hot.

fix'd

u homosexual goddess