Poi's Recipe Book

[The Dark Mudokon]

(I saw in the board's description that we could talk about paramite pies recipes so I'll just let loose my knowledge of cooking )

"Welcome to Poi's Oddworld Recipe guide! I am your devoted mud, Poi and this guide will help you satisfy your people or, in certain case, disgust them with tasty recipes! Let's start with a tasty Paramite Pie!

PARAMITE PIE

You need:

-a bowl

-a plate

-water

-a paramite, a live one if you want the meat to be fresh, a dead one if you want to survive the recipe

-flour

-butter, or you can use the fat from the paramite, if the thing didn't kill you already

-Eggs, maybe your Clakkerz neighbors next door can lend you some or you can steal some from 'em (Don't you ever take mudokon eggs, you heartless worm!)


Now that you have all the ingredients and, probably survived the capture of the paramite, it's time to start baking! First, pour water in your bowl (clean watre, not some glukkon-polluted water). Add the flour and the eggs to th water and make some dough, to make the crust. Then, put the dough on the place, to form the crust of the pie. Once this is done, keep some dough to put overall.

Next, go get a paramite. If it's alive, try to capture it without being reduce to paramite food by hitting it from afar with a stick, or throw rocks at it or just ask your slig neighbor to hunt it down for you. You'll probably get enslaved if you do that, but you'll have a tasty Paramite Pie!

Once you have your paramite, just cut the meat from it and put it in the plate, where the dough is waiting for the touch of some warm, fresh paramite meat. Put the dough you left aside (You did, uh?) and place it over the pie. Make some holes, so the dough won't inflate like a balloon and explode, then leave it in the oven at 200 C 'till the crust is crispy.

There ya go! You have a nice paramite pie and you kept all (most) of your limbs!

There's a little cool stuff about this recipe. If your paramite kills you, they can enjoy a Mud Pie! So, the recipe's not failed, even though the paramite's still alive!"

[Havoc]

Fun... but lame...

[Splat]

This has alraedy been done. Search General Oddworld Discussion.

[Slaveless]

Splat, the last topic on this subject happened 8 months ago. I don't think it is fair to say that he should have used a different topic.

Hey, cool thread The Dark Mudokon. Now my only suggestion is that we need a little much in depth explamation on what kind of meat should we use for the pies, rather than just meat.

I would share my knowledge on the subject being that I own Kole in 'Along the Border' RPG, but rather tired now, and I will get to it later.

[Al the Vykker]

I have an inkling that Paramite Pie recipes will be staying here in Fan Corner from now on. With that in mind Slaveless has made an excellent point for General Discussion forum-flaw. A new thread discussing this subject actually is better than resurrection of an older one from months before, so Dark Mudokon great work on a new recipe if only there was some real paramite meat...yeah that might not taste as savory as it sounds. =P

However, as it seems debate is moot here since now that it's in Fan Corner it is essentially his work of fanfiction. Cheers!

[Slaveless]

Being that this place isn't specifically built to talk about just Paramite Pies, is it possible to share what you could do with other foods? I have a few in mind. I don't know if it is possible to improve on your recipe at the moment, but I do have other recipes in mind.

[The Dark Mudokon]

Well, that recipe was just a funny illustration of how it is done, I didn't try to make real paramite pies! XD

I guess I could invent Oddworld recipes, such as Steef Candies or Vykker Burgers or Glukkon Thighs XD

I'll come up with something later. ^^

[The Dark Mudokon]

"Hello, fellow chump! this is your tasty mudokon chef, Poi! Today, we'll give those industrials a good kick to the butt by serving them their own kind! We'll do some tasty Vykker Burgers! Here's what you need:

-A fresh killed Vykker

-A spear, a tomahawk, a wooden plank or a tank (or anything that can be used to kick the shit outta the thing so you can cook him)

-a frying pan (or a flat rock, if you're cooking on a campfire. Or you can use a grill, if you have one!)

-Buns (You can make some fleech-bread buns! See page 3 for Fleech Bread recipe)

-I suggest using some Searex Butter to make the meat more tasty. Alternate (and safer) solution would be to use the fat from a small animal, but it'll taste less good.

-A life insurance (In case the Vykker captures you before you can kick his butt and kills you overtime by doing weird experiments on you.)

First, go at the closest armorer and buy the most dangerous weapon you can afford (preferably one that won't turn on you, like attack Slogs). Then, find a facility where Vykkers are known to work. Infiltrate the place, avoiding anything that might transform you in to either a Meech Shishkabob, a Mudokon Swiss Cheese, a freshly chopped meat bun or an experiment subject. Once you've managed to infiltrate and avoided all danger (you did, huh? Of course you did! Or you wouldn't be reading this...), look for a young, fresh Vykker. Lure him into a corner where no one can see or hear anything then, beat him up!

Here, there is two possibilities: Either he was stronger than you (I told you to buy the most dangerous weapon you could afford! You're not that poor, aren't you?) and locked you in a cage to test the last Butt-Flo formula, either you wacked him good and are now bringing him to your home! Now, you just have to carry the Vykker outta the place!

Note: An alternative would be to just knock out the Vykker so you can have fresher meat when ready to cook! But take in note that if you don't tie him tightly, when he wakes up, he may get you spotted.

Once you have your fresh and (hopefully) dead Vykker, you just have to carve him and take the meat you need (Don't take any meat from the buns, there's more fat than meat in there, but the brain's big and tasty!). Grind the Vykker meat 'till it can be molded into a flat shape. Once this is done, mold the meat into flat burgers and put some Searex butter (Or use alternative stuff, 'cuz if you tried to get Searex butter, chances are you've been a tasty Searex treat) in your pan or, on your flat rock. Be sure that your oven has been pre-heated (or your fire lit, in a camp case.) and put the meat in it and turn'em over and over 'till it's well done. Once the meat's ready, put it between two buns and voila! You chumps have some nice Vykker Burger! Offer one to your fellow Industrial buds and look at their faces when you tell'em with what their're done! (And prepare for a life-long sentance of slavery....)

If there is any idea for a tasty recipe, tell me and I will do some research for all you mudokon gourmets! This was your tasty mud bud, Poi! "