Oddworld Forums > Zulag Three > Fan Corner > Non-Oddworld Art & Literature


 
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  #1  
09-11-2006, 04:00 PM
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metroixer
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I can write poetry too >_> (A little darker though)

A lot of people I know say I have a knack for poetry. I wanna see if this place thinks the same . It's a little....Dark though, which is surprising especially since it's coming from me . Anyway let's get this started shall we ? I only have 1 poem for you tonight.

The orphinage on sheridan street:

The orphanage of sheridan street is a poor and famined house,
It's surprising how the children can survive there, hell even a mouse!
The ages go from 8-13, although there are some unlucky few who are 16.
The bathroom is a bucket, and thats a crying shame.
The only food the children eat are crumpets. That don't even give much to the children since most of them lose it from the untamed.
It's always hot, it's always bleack, it seems like they're lives are just smelly "sheets".
But there is hope for them for them.that is no lie for the children have a loving caretaker, who is like a sweet meaty surprise (O.o).

So do not worry readers, for they will live up. And when they get to they're future, They're past will fog up.



So waddya think? I was trying to make a good picture for the reader to understand . It's not my best i'll tell you that but it's the best one I could think of for now. So I hope you enjoyed this one.
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  #2  
09-12-2006, 03:08 PM
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Daxter King
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Its good for the most part, just gotta work on the amount of syllables per line. Though then again who am I to criticize?I cant write worth crap.......
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