Oddworld: Sal's Oddysee

[Sal the Mudokon]

okay, *takes deep breath*, this is the first fan fic i had ever begun to write. I began about a year ago, due to lack of other fan fics about oddworld. i never showed it to ne1 i was hoping that i would one day contiue it. yes, i got my forum name from it too. im gonna post attemptedly once a month in short chapters like the following. once amonth seems a bit too long for a short fic like this, but i dont want to commit to things. *more deep breaths*. tell me watcha think (dont be harsh!, please!) here it goes:


Sal’s Oddysee


Chapter 1: The Murder
Sal sat and thought about Flem. Where was he going? Why was he leaving? What had he done? Sal didn’t know. He just sat and thought. He heard footsteps above his head. “Clang, Clang!” it was the steps of a slig. No, it was two sligs. Sal tried to stay quiet. He looked through the holes in the ceiling.
“Eh, check dis out!” said one.
“What is it?” asked the other.
“It looks like a meat-puppet,” the first answered, “but somethin’s different about it”.
“Let’s see here, eh,” said the other as he sifted through the pictures he had been handed, “well it kinda looks like em”. He pointed to a picture of a mudokon.
“Well if it is him, then what do we do?” asked one.
“I don’t know, yer the one who stayed awake during the briefing!” snapped back the other, “You should know!”
“I think we were supposed to take em back to the station?”
“You sure?”
“Uh, yeah I’m sure, eh, I think?”
“Hey, do you smell that?” said one of them.
“Eh, Dale, don’t try to blame this on me!”
“No, not that you idiot!” replied Dale.
“Yeah, well, now that you mention it, somthin does smell a little funky aroun here.”
“You think it’s him?” said Dale as he pointed to the mudokon.
“I don’t know, go look”.
“No, you look!”
“Fine, we’ll both look!” They walked closer to the small lump of blue matter, slightly resembling a mudokon.
“Man, that is rank!” said Dale, putting his hand over his tentacles.
“Well what happened to em?” “Don’t know, should we wake em up?”
“You mean if he can be woken up?” The dazed mudokon began to get up.
“Rifles ready!” screamed the unknown slig.
The mudokon arched its back and stared straight into their eyes with hatred. Whispers began to come out of his mouth, but Sal couldn’t understand them. The mudokon repeated the words over and over, each time getting louder. After about the eighth time, Sal could make out the words.
“He is coming, he is coming for us all!!!” And with that, the mudokon leapt into the air in an attempt to attack the sligs. The sligs instantly fired their guns, and struck the mudokon in midair. A drop of blood hit Sal’s cheek as the body hit the floor. He wiped it off and looked back up. The sligs stood still, thinking about what just happened.
“What…the hell…was that?” said Dale.
“Ugh, I think it’s time to go?” replied the other.
“Alright, hey ya seen that new helicopter stuff their working on?” said Dale as they walked away, “Man, what will those Vykkers guys think of next?” Sal sat still, looking up at the dead, motionless eyes of the mudokon.
Something was strange about him. Then, all of a sudden, Sal figured it out. He was blue. No, not sad, but literally blue! Then he remembered that Flem was blue too! Why hadn’t he noticed it before? Maybe that’s why Flem had been taken? Sal tried to remember. And then it all came back to him.


well, thats it for may, i guess. stay tuned for the second chapter!

[ May 13, 2001: Message edited by: Sal the Mudokon ]

[Pacen]

That's very good, I liked it. The humor thrown in is a nice touch. You mean I have to wait another month to see the next chapter? Ah well. *sets alarm clock*

[Sal the Mudokon]

Fine, Ill post Chapter 2 of Sal's Oddysee Pacen... but just for u! because u told me how to pronounce yer name I told u that i couldnt keep to commitment well, heres chapter 2:

Sal's Oddysee

Chapter 2: The Memory
Scrubbing walls, just outside the main floor, Sal and Flem thought to themselves about the day. Nothing interesting had happened. Well, almost nothing. Sal thought back.
There was this slave just sitting down on the floor, all-normal like, when all of a sudden, he started to scream. Not a scream of being shot, or scared, but a scream of pain, when all of a sudden, the schmuck passed out on the floor. Flem looked at Sal and reminded him of the strange event. After they were done working, they walked back over to the unconscious figure. His head and part of his neck were a strange blue color. Flem got closer to touch him. Sal grabbed Flem’s arm and pulled him back before he could.
“Who knows,” said Sal cautiously, “he might be infected with some kind of virus or something?”
“Okay”, said Flem. He turned away and started back to their quarters.
About two days later the mudokon had reawakened, his body, completely blue. He refused to work and kept screaming like there was steel spike in his body which wouldn’t remove itself until he sent this message to all of Mudos: “With skin like me, you all shall see, he is that, which shall save thee, but shall you grieve, and don’t believe, this prison, you will never leave!”
Sal and Flem looked on him like he was three legs short a scrab. No one really paid much attention to him. No one but Flem that was. Was he fixated? No. Was he his one solemn believer? Of course not! He just thought the guy was funnier than hell! Flem even traded a slig a pack of cigarettes for a copy of the security footage from, who was now known as the “Blue Burbler’s”, quarters.
Sal had walked into the “Employee Improvement” room, where sat Flem watching the film. After closer inspection, Sal noticed that Flem was asleep. He shook him to wake him up.
“Hey dude, wake up, the sligs are gonna be back any sec!” Flem didn’t move. “Dude, wake up!!!” screamed Sal.
“Clang, clang!” “SLIGS!” thought Sal. He couldn’t just leave Flem lying there. The sligs would report him! Or worse! Sal tried to pick up his life-long buddy.
“Hey, what the hell are you two doin’ in here?!” screamed the slig as he open the door. Sal knew that if he moved that the slig would blow both of their heads off.
“Eh guys, get over here!” he said to the other officers. In moments, Sal was taken down a hallway to where he was to be punished. The other sligs carried Flem down the fifth corridor. Just as they separated them, the sligs accidentally dropped Flem. They dragged him and Sal watched Flem’s arm disappear behind the wall. Flem’s blue arm.
Flem must have gotten a little too close to the freak in his struggle for entertainment. What was to happen to Flem? The slig tugged Sal’s arm. The enforcer soon brought Sal to a pitch-black room.
“Ya like watchin’ that weirdo huh?” said the slig, “Now ya can see em all ya want!” He threw Sal into the room and locked the door. The room was small, and the only lighting was the holes in the ceiling. The holes led directly to Burbler’s room. “Yay” he thought sarcastically.
That was all that Sal could remember. He had been in the cell for about two days now. Sal jumped in pain. His stomach gave a strange contraction. “Ahhh!” he said. A throbbing headache attacked him. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” he screamed. He held his hands on his head in pain. After about five seconds, he became dizzy and passed out. That was the beginning.


thanx for being so caring as to reply(no one else did!) this ones for u

[Pacen]

Good, another cool chapter. Now I better read Dragadon's fic before she realises I've been reading yours and not hers!

[Sl'askia]

grrr *taps claws as she glares at Pacen* hehe j/k. very interesting Sal, keep it up

[Silversnow]

Cool!!

[Sal the Mudokon]

THANK YOU FOR POSTING!
If I can get 5 more replies here...Ill post the next (more exciting) part of the tale of a mudokon known as Sal. thank you n catch ya round the forums!

[Steve the Gabbit]

WOW! That's some awsome writing.
i think that's so cool that you can write in such great detail and describe everything so perfectly.
Keep up the awsome work and i guess i'll see ya around the forum

[Sal the Mudokon]

thank you Pacen, Dragadon, Silversnow and Steve for your replies! I know that I sed 1 month intervals, n the whole five replies n ill post again early, but what the hell! Im writin this for my sheer love of the series n not for replies (though I dont mind em every now-n-then). Now, onto the "much" anticipated third chapter(this one's got a lot of action so try to keep up!)of Sal's oddysee


Sal's Oddysee

Chapter 3: The Beginning
“Where am I?” thought Sal. He lifted his dazed head out of a small compartment confining him.
It was a dark cobwebbed room, about the size of a mine car. He was all alone. He looked out over the edges to see the ground hundreds of feet below him. He looked up. A large cable was holding the surrounding structure. His small area was a part of a large object, high above the ground. He gathered his thoughts. He was on top of a train! He looked across the roof of the train to see hundreds of other compartments, much the same as his, just motionless. The train began to move. He fell back into his room.
Above his head, he could see the sign for “Googles of Goggles”, the factory where he had help make the goggles for the monsters that had held him down. They were the masks for the sligs!
As the train continued, Sal reemerged. In the distance, he could see a small light. It was coming closer. It was almost blinding! Then the huge flash bombarded him, so he fell back into his confinements, rubbing his sore eyes. Sal had never been outside the factory. After several minutes, his eyes adjusted.
He looked out upon the wasteland surrounding the factory. Sal sighed and lowered his eyes. “Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” screamed Sal. His hands. They were… blue! In fact, his whole body was blue! “No!, no!, no!” pleaded Sal. This couldn’t be? It was inevitable.
Carrying Flem and the blood from the Burbler had taken their toll. He was a freak too!
“Hey, quiet down!” yelled a voice from outside his capsule. Sal lifted his head.
“Where are you?” asked Sal.
“Over here, ugly!” Sal turned around. About nineteen capsules away, stood another mudokon. He was also blue!
“Hey,” started Sal, “are all of us blue?”
“No, we’re only here because of our hansom physique!” stated the mudokon sarcastically.
“What’s yer name?” asked Sal, “I’m Sal”
“The names Yolk!”
“Yolk? What kind of name is that?” Yolk left his capsule and started climbing towards Sal; the fierce winds on him at all times. Sal knew exactly why he was coming on over. Out of know where, Sal felt a strong sting in his head. He put his hand over it. Yolk held tightly to the train with one hand, while he put the other over his head too. All around, mudokon voices screamed from their capsules. Sal regained consciousness. The others seemed to be only hurt more.
Yolk lost his strength. He fell towards the end of the train, but hit a post, which caught him momentarily before meeting the edge. Sal saw a mass of mountains as their destination. They were all going to die! The train sped to an unnatural level. Sal was sucked out of his capsule, into the horrific breeze of the sky. He grabbed onto the top of the train, in hopes of safely securing a position. He sustained balance vertically on a post, only about five feet away from the dangling body of Yolk. Yolk was slipping!
Sal leapt over to Yolk. Grabbing him before he was let loose. Fires began to explode all over the train as it came closer to the rocks.
The voices of the mudokons around him turned from separate screams of pain into one massive voice repeating the words, “Chant, you are the one!”
Sal put his hands together and began to focus his thoughts. In front of him, a cluster of fireflies had surrounded themselves around a small fire on the train. They formed the word “jump”. Sal, holding yolk by the waste, jumped from the train. He fell at a phenomenal rate towards the forests below. Out of the lush trees, came a thousand winged creatures. They grabbed Sal and Yolk in mid-flight. They were carried to the ground swiftly. Sal was being held by a mass of fifty or so of these winged creatures, but could still slightly see beyond them. Sal watched as the train and all of its occupants were tossed at the mountains in a huge explosion.
“Noooo!!!” screamed an angry voice from behind Sal. Yolk was now awake. All of a sudden, Sal was dropped from about twenty feet, onto the jungle canopy below. Several little bumps and bruise-causing screams were made by Sal and Yolk followed by one big “Ouch!” as they both hit the hard soil. Sal turned around to find seven mudokons, dressed in strange clothing and holding spears staring angrily at him. Our hero took a deep breath, wondering what they were going to do.

well, thats all for now. I hope you all enjoy it!

[Sal the Mudokon]

well, it seems im the only one who gives a fuck about that last chapter(which story will get better as the story continues!! i.e. The Hobbit sucked for a quarter of the story). So, otherwise, its June, or so I've been told, and I'm gonna keep true to my word by posting the next part of my pretty little story!...this ones got some humor Here it goes:


Sal's OddyseeChapter 4: The Natives

“Eh, hi guys,” said Sal.
“You will greet us in our native tongue!!!” screamed the most decorated one.
“Oh, ummm,” Sal thought for a moment, “WWWAAAAAASSSSSUUUUUUPPPP!!!!!”
“No, you fool!” the leader hit Sal over the head with the staff that he was carrying, “You have to whistle!” Sal attempted to whistle, but sadly could only spit all over himself.
“You are a disgrace, Glukk-Shmuck!” shouted the leader, “You shall be punished!”
“Are you gonna kill me?”
“No, worse.” Sal felt a lump in his throat. “We’re going to send you to the queen!”
“The queen? What’s that?”
“That’s it!” screamed the leader. POW! He smacked Sal over the head with his stick. “And you call yerself a mudokon!?” Sal felt a little woozy and passed out.
Twenty minutes later, he found himself in a strange, large, dome-like enclosure. It was made of rock and had a large bulbous chunk of earth in the middle. Yolk was sitting next to him. Yolk would have surely knocked the crap out of Sal, had it not been for their chains. Then, out of nowhere, the monstrous boulder moved.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!” screamed Sal. It moved slowly, but with a constant echo in the enclosure. It was spinning every so slowly. Then, Sal saw that the boulder had the arms and head of a mudokon sticking out of the front of it. “Don’t worry lil’ guy! Here I come!” Sal screamed as he charged the length of his chains, which was just enough for him to grab the head and arms of the poor mudokon who’s lower half lie deep within the rock. Sal grunted as he pulled.
“Unhand me, you fool!” screamed the mud.
“Well,” started Sal, “I thought you were stuck in this boulder!”
“This is no boulder!!! This is my body!”
“Oh sorry!” started Sal, “But you must admit that if this is yer body than you are immensely obese.”
“Why you little bastard! If I were what I used to be in my old day-” the mysterious figure let out a loud series of coughs. “If I-“ the coughs persisted. “Well,” cough, “You’d be sorry!”
“Look, I’m sorry for Callin’ ya fat n’ all, but I don’t really know you,” said Sal innocently. The giant lightened up. “N’ you’ve got one heck of a temper problem too, ya old geezer!” A face of pure anger swarmed over that of the behemoth.
“My name is Kel,” she said with certain strictness, “and I am the mudokon queen of the lands of Modelado.”
“Well, queen,” started Sal, “I’ve never really been outside of the factory that I used to work in and I really don’t know where I am, let alone where ‘Modelado’ is.”
“Well,” said Kel, “Then let me educate you.” She took a second to clear her throat, and then began. “You and I, like much of the mudokon nation live in a massive continent known as ‘Mudos’, which is a tiny sect of Oddworld. Mudos is separated into many mudokon royal sections, the one of which we are presently in is the second-most eastern section towards the Great Big Water, which is called Modelado.” Sal was fast asleep.
“Can I hit him?” begged Yolk.
“Very well,” said Kel.
POW!

[Silversnow]

HAHAHA!!!! That was a good one Sal. Keep up the grrrrrreat worrrk.

[Sal the Mudokon]

well, this is the next exciting cahpter in the tale of mudokon known as Sal. It WILL get more interesting. By the way, my story (unlike most) has a few definite goals and parts that are intended to be put into the story, while still being fun to write because i have the freedom to put whatever i want in between! and im not so good at writing dialogue, so im rather proud of this chapter! so, as promised, heres Sal!


Sal's Oddysee

Chapter 5: The Culture

Sal didn’t take to the native mudokons as well as he might have wanted to. Okay, okay, he spent most of his days in shackles. But every now and then, a mudokon would grab Sal by the chain he was on and take him around the village to introduce him to their way of life.
Over the course of about two weeks, Sal could whistle many phrases, and became familiar with most everything in the tribe.
“Well,” started Kel, “What do you want to learn today?” She, of course, expected Sal to say what he always said: “Whatever you want to waste my time talking about”, but this time he said,
“Exactly how old are you?”
“Well that’s a new one! Let’s see.” She let out a whistle and two mudokons came to her. “Can I have the book of records?” she beckoned.
“Yes, my queen!” the two replied.
“This will only take a moment,” she assured Sal.
After about five minutes, the mudokons came back with an old, wrinkly mudokon. Kel made a strange little smile to him, and even seamed to blow him a kiss. Writh noticed this and made a similar smile back.
“Where are the records?” asked Sal.
“He is the records,” replied Kel with certain maturity, “Tell me Writh, how old am I?”
“You are exactly… well let’s see…carry the five… divide by three…umm… one second, I’ll get it… okay, here we go! You are exactly, WAIT! THIS CAN’T BE RIGHT!” Writh sat down and counted out numbers on his fingers for the next ten minutes.
“Well, how old am I?” urged Kel.
“My queen, I have counted over and over and have come up with the same number, but it can’t be!”
“Well! Tell me!”
Writh took a deep breath, “eehhhh… 32.” He jumped back as if to be hit by Kel.
“WHAT?!” screamed Kel, “It can’t be!”
“What’s wrong?” asked Sal, “Most of us don’t live past 15!”
“You fool,” said Writh, “everyone knows that a queen can only be queen until she is 30! Then she must be replaced!”
“Oooh, so old Kelly here is late for a replacement eh?”
“I guess you could say that,” said Kel angrily.
“Well, why don’t you just pop out a little queeny-weeny and we’ll just let her take it from there?”
“It’s not that simple!” roared Kel in frustration, “I have to eat the Maridarri plant!”
“The whatty-what plant?”
“The Maridarri plant,” proclaimed Writh, “It’s a sacred plant found closest near the great beach on the coast of Reama.”
“And where is that?”
“Oh, only a MONTHS WALK FROM HERE!”
“Wait, wait, wait! Then you’re not exactly the queen, are you?”
“Well,” whispered Kel, “No.”
“But if theirs no queen, then who rules the tribe?”
“No one does, if I’m not the queen.”
“You know,” said Sal confidently, “The tribe could reach a point of mass hysteria without it’s beloved queen.”
“Oh no!” shouted Writh, “you’re right!”
“Well, then maybe we could secretly send a little party over to that little coast of yours and get you that little plant, get back, and then we’ll tell the tribe about your little lie after we have ourselves a new queen.”
“You know,” started Writh, “for a glukk-schmuck, he’s pretty smart.”
“You mean it might work?” asked Kel.
“Of course it will work!” stated Sal, “All of my plans work! Why back where I used to come from they called me Sal the-umm, Sal the-well, they said it so loudly that it was indefinable, but it was something good!”
“Speaking of that, Sal, where are you from?” asked the queen.
“Well, like I was saying, gotta go plan, ya know!”

[Sal the Mudokon]

well, here's the next part of our touching, sultry, highly sexual, family-oriented tale of Sal.(ok, so its none of those things... big deal!)now we find Sal pulled between the forces of good and evil!(ok so it doesnt have that either)well its cool! READ IT!(o, and i think this one's the longest chapter yet!)


Sal's Oddysee

Chapter 6: The Plan

“So Yolkemiester, what’s been up?” asked Sal, as he lay on his back in the small room, high above the ground.
“Nothing!” screamed Yolk, “Now can I please have some sleep?!” It was very late and Yolk was getting even angrier at Sal than he did during the daytime.
“That’s cool and all, but I seem to be having a much better time here.”
“Terrific! Now shut up!”
“I mean, the Queen has already needed me to find out that we need to send a search party to a monstrosity of unknown terrors in the hopes of preventing complete horror, that could indefinitely ruin the entire community.”
Yolk lifted his head. “What?”
“Oh nothing, good night.” Yolk lay his head back down, confused. “Good night, Sal.”
The next day, Sal waited for Tom (the mudokon in charge taking Sal around the tribal grounds), but he never came. He would have asked Yolk what was going on, but he was gone.
“Hey,” thought Sal, “Maybe they’re never coming up here for me?” He looked at his shackles. They were undone! This whole time he wasn’t even tied to the wall and he was sitting there like a vegetable.
Sal walked out of the room, and down the ladder. He could have escaped into the forest, but he had heard of horrific stories of the things that inhabit them. Monstrous beasts that roar and screech unmudly noises into the night sky! Who could resist?!
Sal walked ten feet into the forest, when he noticed a small cave. Should he go in it? No! There was already a resident coming out of it. Sal ran a good 50 yards to get a closer look at the little sweetie.
“Heya lil guy!” said Sal to the small green animal, “What’s your cute little name?”
“SCREECH!” it roared to Sal.
“Well that’s a rather ODD name,” said Sal under his breath. But the little guy wasn’t saying his name, no siree! He was calling for back up! Fifty or so of the little guy’s relatives came charging out of the small cave.
“What the - ahhhh!!!” screamed Sal as he ran for his life. Sal had never run so fast in all of his life! Ahead, he saw Kel’s cave-like dwelling. As he ran in, he tripped a latch with his foot and a large stone door fell between and the cuddly demons.
“Well,” said Writh, “We thought that you’d never get here.”
“Hummidi hummidi hummidi!” screamed Sal in fear as he laid his back against the door, “M-m-m-ma-a-Monster!”
“What?” said Writh. He walked over to the wall and cranked the door up.
“What the hell are you doing?” urged Sal, “those are killers!”
“Here little guys!” yelled Writh. He pulled a piece of meat from his tunic and waved it in the air. The paramites’ heads followed it in the air. “Fetch!” He threw the meat and all of the paramites ran away.
“You know,” said Sal sarcastically, “you really are one sick mudokon.”
“Well, things are always easier to control, when controlled by things with intelligence.” Sal frowned.
In the room he could see five strong mudokons, their spears lain against the wall by the door, and behind them he saw the massive body of Kel.
“Can we stop whining and get down to business now Sal?” asked Kel.
“Yeah, just keep the finger-faces away from me and I’ll be fine!” shot back Sal. Under his breath he said, “All the little bastards belong as pies…”
“What Sal?” asked Kel.
“Oh nothing…continue.”
“Right, well, as I was saying when Mr. Sal here ran in like a scared little child…” Sal frowned again. “…The only choice that we have is to send you six out to Reama to get me that flower, understand?”
“He he, I doubt ‘oldy’ here is still strong enough to go on a big mission with yer warriors,” said Sal humorously. Writh gave an ugly glance at Sal.
“I wasn’t talking about Writh you complete idiot,” shouted Kel, “I was talking about you!”
“WHAT!?” screamed Sal.
“Yes Sal, yer the only one of us who knows anything about the more worldly things and we may encounter some sort of glukkon factory on the way.”
“What about Yolk?!”
“We spoke with him this morning and he says that fighting goes against his religious beliefs. And he told all how brave you were in the great ‘Truscade Battle’”
“What?! Yolk has no religious beliefs! I wasn’t even alive during the Truscade Battle!”
“That is not for you to decide for Yolk! Now go and pack for tomorrow.” Writh laughed… as if Sal had anything to pack. “You’ll be getting up early in the morning, so get yer rest.”
“What? How?”
“Don’t talk. Prepare.”
“Don’t I need a map or something?” Kel rolled her eyes and handed Sal a map.
“FINE! But this is one of two of our best maps so don’t lose it!”
“Okay, I won’t.” Sal walked over to the door and cranked the large boulder back to the ceiling. More than seventy-five paramites were waiting there.
“SCREECH!” Sal kicked the latch before they could attack him.
“I think I’ll take the other door, he he.”

thats all for now! stay tuned for Sal's travels! n if ya wouldn't mind... a few replies wouldn't hurt. see ya around the forums!

[Sal the Mudokon]

Well i can tell that everyone is in anticipation for the next chapter, due to my wide arey of replies! that's what we call a "joke" in English. the next chapter's a bit shorty, but only because i wanted to get it over so i could start writin the first day! Here goes!

Sal's Oddysee

Chapter 7: The Preparation

“Knock, Knock!”
“I just got to sleep and now you have company!” screamed a frustrated and very tired Yolk.
“Hey,” said Sal, “You got out of it you cheep bastard, so quit bitching!”
“Oh yeah, well I’m not planning on dying out in the middle of no where!”
“Thanks for your sympathy.” Sal opened the door to see the five warriors standing there, awaiting his arrival. “Well Yolk, we ‘blues’ are splitting up.”
“Hey Sal,” asked Yolk, “did you ever wonder why we never changed anyone else blue?”
“Yeah, but I’m sure why. Maybe we’ll find out when I get back, okay?”
“Okay, Sal...If you get back.”
“Ha! That was almost as funny as when I saved yer life on the train, ya ungrateful bastard!” Sal turned back towards the door to find Writh panting in the threshold.
“My legs aren’t what they used to be.”
“Writh, what are you doing?”
“The tribe has named you!”
“Okay Writh, no oxygen’s getting to yer brain! We already have names.”
“No, the tribe has its own special names for you!”
“Okay, be quick”
“You Sal, shall from this day fourth be known by the tribe as: ‘Cephalephalungallusdagingotyringotdo - impishmunkygoamerpileli - ksdoogpooooimpimptricularnininium - ickyickyickyfamanggamamgzumamgrooo - uusaarchybunkersmommawuzzamananilike - efrydeshikin Zerr’.”
“What?”
“Cephalephal-”
“Never mind. What’s Yolkinator’s new name?”
“Well, the tribe likes the name Yolk, so we’ll just keep it as Yolk.” Yolk fell down laughing. “Whatever… See ya!” said Sal angrily. He ran out the door as fast as possible to get away from Yolk’s criticism. “Crash!”
“You know C. Zerr,” said Writh as he looked over the balcony at the groaning face of Sal on the dented ground, “You might want to look before you leap on yer trip!” Sal lay in pain from the drop out of the room.
“Come on, let’s go.” said one of the warriors as he dragged him to where the others were departing.
“So how the hell are we gonna walk all the way to the ocean?” pleaded Sal pitifully.
“Well, we aren’t going to be doing much walking.”
“Then who is? We don’t exactly have a train!”
“They are.” The mudokon pointed to a group of huge, muscular, insect-like creatures.
“Aaahhhh! Monsters!”
“Sal, these are Meetles, not monsters.”
“Sure, their always cute and kind until you find yerself running for yer life!”
“You went into the forest, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, Sal, these aren’t like that. They won’t turn on ya!”
“So, what do we do? Ride ‘em?”
“Yes! How else would propose we do it?”
“Never mind. Where’s mine?”
“Yer ‘gem’ is right over there.” Sal turned around to find a small, weak, sad excuse for a multi-celled organism huddled on six tiny legs.
“Yer kidding right?”
“What’s wrong with ‘Old Geezer’ here?”
“Its name is ‘Old Geezer’? Fantastic!”
“What’s wrong with its name?”
“Oh nothing, as long as I can call you ‘Pansy-Buff-Guy Who Can’t Decently Pick Out A Meetle’.”
“Fine, you can change the name!”
“Thanks! By the way, what is yer name?”
“I’m Don, that over there is Ralf, the one to yer left is Todd, and the guy flying is George.”
“Weren’t there five of you guys…And who’s the guy flying?” Sal looked up to see an obese meetle hovering above him.
“Oh, that flying guy. Alrighty.”
“Steve had a little too much to drink last night so he won’t be with us. Did you know they could fly?”
“Oh of course! Doesn’t every giant insectoid fly?”
“Okay, well I think ya got the whole meetle thing.” Sal said nothing and just continued looking at the meetle in the air. After a few seconds he diverted his eyes to his meetle.
“How the hell is that gonna get off of the ground?” thought Sal, “This is going to be a very long trip.”


For the LOVE of ODD, REPLY!

[ June 15, 2001: Message edited by: Sal the Mudokon ]

[Pacen]

Sal can you please edit that post to avoid horizontal page scrolling? It's a pain to read it like that. To fix it you have to change that big long name to have a space in it. Thanks.

[Joe the Intern]

i think old geezer should die!! MWWWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! maybe he could be electrocuted hehe. or be blown up by a grenade!! or maybe... (walks mumbling to himself quotes from the book "1000+ ways to kill meetles")

[Sal the Mudokon]

is that better pacen? thanx Morg...err...Joe (YER NOT BLOCKED N QUIT CALLIN ME NAMES!)Next Chapter Coming SOON! (need to fuel my insperational...stuff) C ya soon!

[Pacen]

Thanks Sal. Now I can read it.

Okay, all read. Not a bad little fic you've got here Sal, keep it up.

[ June 15, 2001: Message edited by: Pacen ]

[glokking bram]

it ferie

[Sal the Mudokon]

After years(slight exaggeration) of pain and agony, my computer's internet connection has been fixed and i can now update my fan fiction. More to follow soon. And now, the first day.


Sal's Oddysee

Chapter 8: The First Day

“Okay damn it! You’ve had enough!” roared George as he took Sal’s cantina away.
“Just one more sip or I’ll die!” screamed Sal.
“No, you can at least wait until we leave the village!” The mudokons in the village watched as Sal and the others moved out.
“We’re doomed,” said Writh.
“Ahhh, have some faith ya old wad of wrinkles!” snapped Sal.
“I hope ya like the meetle I picked out for ya, Sal!” Sal looked down at his weak old bug-thing as it huffed and puffed along.
“Well, I hope ya don’t die while I’m gone, Writh,” said Sal as he rode off. Writh snickered at Sal and walked away.
About four hours later, Sal had been bored by the constant view of trees. He decided to try to make his meetle fly. Slowly, the runt began to rise off of the ground. Sal was delighted at accomplishing his goal and slowly rose towards the canopy.
“Hey Ralf,” said Todd, “is Sal still alive?”
“Don’t know, I’ll check.” Ralf turned his meetle around and was surprised to find that Sal had disappeared. “Uh guys,” said Ralf fearfully, “Sal’s gone.”
“What?!” said Don, “look for him!”
“There he is,” said George, pointing up. George’s meetle quickly rose off of the ground and jettisoned towards Sal and ‘Killer-Demon-Monster-Destroyer-Beast-of-Oblivion-Who-Will-Destroy-Stuff’ (as Sal had now renamed his meetle). “Sal, what are you doing?”
“Nothing, just looking at the view.”
“Hey do you see that up ahead?” yelled George with glee. Up ahead, there was a clearing. “It’s the plains!”
“What’s that,” asked Sal.
“It’s a huge clearing with fresh air and plenty of food, with its downsides.”
“What kind of downsides?”
“Ya know, the local wildlife and such.”
“Exactly what kind of ‘local wildlife’ are we talking about here?”
“Well, at night, there is a creature that can defeat anything that walks.” Sal began to turn his meetle around. “Don’t worry, we don’t walk.”
“Oh yeah,” said Sal.
As they hovered, they came upon a large pack of scrabs.
“Are those the monsters that you were afraid of?” asked Sal.
“No, but these are definitely in second place!” replied George.
The scrabs ran across the plain in a beautiful formation, as if they were one animal. Sal had never seen anything like it in his entire life. They were terrifying, yet wondrous at the same time.
“Ya know,” started Sal, “these are creepy, but at the same time kind of cute.” Just then, his meetle decided that he had had enough. “Ahhh!” screamed Sal as his meetle swung violently. ‘Killer-Demon-Monster-Destroyer-Beast-of-Oblivion-Who-Will-Destroy-Stuff’ had lived much too long to sustain flight as long as he had. He was ready to kiss the dirt. “Help!” begged Sal, as he and the bug plummeted towards the ground. Todd was the first to get to Sal. He grabbed Sal’s hand and pulled him atop his meetle just before the old insect hit the ground. The meetle landed safely, but from Ralf’s view high in the sky, he could see the scrabs changing their formation to devour the meetle.
“We’re going back down!” yelled Todd as he pulled a 360 on his meetle.
“Why?” begged Sal, “We’ll be torn apart!”
“Because the map is with the meetle! Hold on and steer while I lean out for the map!” Sal grabbed tightly to the meetle. They neared the ground and Todd leaned out grab the map before the scrabs reached it.
The meetle was flying quickly and less than a foot’s length off of the ground. Closer… closer… then all of a sudden Todd reached to get the pouch holding the map and missed, but snagged his arm on one of the meetle’s restraining ropes.
Sal could not stop the meetle and Todd was thrown from safety. He desperately tried to turn the meetle around.
The three other mudokons swarmed from the skies to Todd’s help. Todd struggled to get up and grab the pouch, but found it a hard operation due to his broken arm. He put the pouch around his arm and ran towards Sal who was struggling to control his meetle. Just before Todd grabbed onto the meetle, the head scrab attacked it, knocking both from the meetle. They held tightly to the wild bug-thing. The meetle plowed through two scrabs before raising altitude.
A scrab swung its jaw at Todd’s leg, but only left a huge gash. Todd, now holding on by only one arm and in great pain began to slip as the meetle tossed and turned just out of the scrabs’ reach. Sal swung one leg over the meetle and grabbed Todd. Todd was too heavy to hold onto through this hysteria.
Ralf flew just above the battered mudokons. Ralf was much stronger than Sal and was able to pull Todd to his meetle. Don and George flew down and tried to plow through the scrabs with little success. Sal was still unable to calm the crazy meetle and needed assistance immediately! Don flew to the right of Sal and attempted to push his meetle into the air.
George flew to help and handed a rope down to Sal. Sal grabbed it and tied it around one of the meetle’s legs. Don handed him another rope and Sal tied it around a leg on the opposite side of the meetle. Don and George began to steer their meetle’s higher into the air, thus bringing up Sal. After about and hour, Sal was safe again and the team was flying high in the air. They were one meetle short so Todd, who was now in bandages, rode with Ralf. The moons were now visible and Sal looked up at them. One had his handprint on it, which he had noticed long before. He raised his palm to it. “This is going to be a long trip,” he said.

[Sal the Mudokon]

When I sed soon... i meant really soon! like five minutes later. here's the next chapter...aptly titled!

Chapter 9: Day Two


The next morning Sal awoke to find himself high above the ground, this time in safe hands though. The only other one who was awake of the team was Ralf. Sal didn’t know much about Ralf because he had been kind of quiet this whole time. All he knew of Ralf was that he was easily the strongest of the warrior muds. George was the leader type because when he said something, which was rare, the others listened. Todd was the nicest one. It was a shame that he had been injured. Don was very quiet, but always seemed to have something on his mind. And Ralf was the strong one. Sal was considered to be the dumb, loud, obnoxious one… rightly so.
“We’re gonna have to camp, Sal,” said Ralf, “They meetles have been riding all night and they can’t take this flight any longer.”
“WHAT!?” screamed Sal, “Are you crazy? Those things will be back and they’ll rip us to little itty-bitty bits!”
“If we don’t let the meetles rest than we’ll have to walk on foot the rest of the way.”
“I suppose yer right,” said Sal, “but what about the giant, long blue thingy on the map? It looks huge. We’ll be eaten alive!”
“Let me see that map!” said Ralf as his meetle neared Sal’s. “That’s a river you idiot! It will be a great place to take a rest for a while.”
“Is that the thing with water?”
“Yes you imbecile, and it’s not too far from here.” The conversation woke up Todd.
“Did you guys say ‘water’?” said Todd weakly, “cuz I could use some right about now.”
“Yeah, and we’ll be there in a little while,” said Sal.
The team trekked on for many more hours. By this time, the other two mudokons had awakened.
“I spy, with my little eye, something green,” said Sal.
“The grass, damn it, you’re looking at the grass!” shouted Ralf.
“Right again,” said Sal, “Wow, yer gettin’ good!”
“Look the river is supposed to be somewhere around here, I know it.”
Just then, there was a sparkle in the distance. It was the river!
“Sweet!” cried Sal as he started kicking his meetle for it to speed up.
“Look,” said Ralf, “if you keep kicking it like that, yer gonna kill it just like the last one!”
“Hey,” snapped Sal, “I didn’t kill ‘Killer-Demon-Monster-Destroyer-Beast-of-Oblivion-Who-Will-Destroy-Stuff’… It was just his time…just his time”
“Yeah, just his time to crash and be ripped apart by scrabs all because you wanted to over exhaust the poor old fella.”
“Shut up!” yelled Sal
“And that’s a great name!”
“Yer just jealous that yer meet-thing doesn’t have such a grand and, um, exquisite name as mine.”
“Ooh, exquisite? Where did you learn such big words?”
“Hey guys, quiet down!” said George, “Do you hear that?” George was pointing to the horizon where the sun was setting and the river looked to be getting a little bit closer. “There it was again!”
“There was what?” interrupted Sal, “I don’t hear a thing? You guys are just going insane from not getting any water.”
“QUIET… elum-boy,” said George.
“Elum-boy?! Hey, I resent that! I don’t drink have as four-times as much as an elum!”
“Sal, just be quiet.”
Just then, there was a shriek in the distance. Blood-curdling, horrific scream that almost made Sal jump out of his skin and wet his loincloth.
“I heard that!”
As the sun fell behind the horizon, the shadows on the land seemed like a marching army, ready for an attack… coming ever closer to them. By this time though, they were already too close to the river to not prepare to stop; despite the curtain of darkness that was shrouding the land.
“Okay, down here we go!” said George. The meetles dropped altitude and headed for the ground.
“Hey!” yelped Sal, “What about those night-things?!”
“Don’t worry, I’ve already planned this out,” said Don, “We’ll find a deep part of the river where we can make a small raft, since it’s not safe on land, and we’ll tie ropes from the raft to posts in the ground, which will keep us from moving away, got it?”
“Uh… yeah,” lied Sal.
Somehow by a strange way of doing so, the plan became reality and the group was out on the raft before the moons came up. The warriors all held their palms before them to the greater moon, contemplating as to why it had the print on its face. Sal was unable to do have such thoughts between vomiting from his extreme case of seasickness.
“Awe!” said all of the angry sky-watchers as they saw the clouds cover their view.
“Better set up tents,” said George, “It looks like rain.”
Before Sal could ask one of the muds to share a tent with him (for his had been with his meetle) the rain was drenching his blue skin. He walked to each tent and was objected by all. His trip wasn’t going to be the way that he had wished. Sal just sat there in the rain, watching the current get stronger, wondering what had to be lurking out in the darkness, and, oh yeah, vomiting.

[Sal the Mudokon]

if i can get some replies, i may pull this blade from my wrist, rip up my suicide note, and maybe even consider writing another chapter! Make that WILL WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER...when i have five good replies...i have a sad life.

[Alcar]

Ha, yeah keep up the excellent work.

I've seen how long ago this topic started as well, and its is a long time ago.

We want more!

[Joe the Intern]

Great work Matt...err... Sal. Give us more! We want more story! And a cookie! Yes! Cookies...

[Sal the Mudokon]

Yes, more story, and cookies, to come!!

It will be here in the event that my previously stated demands are met!(3 more good replies)...or i get bored enough to write another chapter.

Ive added a box of animal crackers and exactly 2,222 red gummi life savers.

I will provide my own cookies.

...cookies...yes...cookies...

[Joe the Intern]

Yeah! Cookies! Does another reply from the same person count? If it does, it has to come with 900 Gummi Bears and 10 cookies! Yessss.....

[kleeng]

I like your story so much it just makes me wana go out side and scream.

We want more! We want more! We want more!

[Sal the Mudokon]

GO AHEAD KLEENG, but first read the next exciting chapter of my tale!

ODDWORLD: SAL'S ODDYSEE

Chapter 10: The Waters

Sal still could not get to sleep and the flashes in the sky became even more horrific. The thunder brought back memories of the shot. They reminded him of the shot that had taken the Blue Burbler and turned him into fleech fodder. It was most obviously the same fait that befell Flem.
Just then there was another crack of thunder, this one much louder than any he had previously heard. The lighting was gaining strength by the second and Sal felt helpless. He had been locked out of his “friends’” shelters, and now he might as well go off and drown in the murky waters. Sal shuttered at the roar of the water as it swept pass him. He had never thought that water could be this strong.
“Hey, Don, look at this!” shouted Sal unto Don’s tent. There was no reply. Sal shook the tent violently.
“What the Hell do you want!” pleaded Don.
“Look,” replied Sal as he pointed at the ropes that held the raft in place. The stakes were now invisible and all that could be seen was the rushing water pulling at the taut ropes. Don, wide-eyed, looked at Sal. Sal had the same horrified look on his face. Ralf crawled out from under his tent and spoke to the scared muds.
“What are you guys doing out- AHHH!” A huge scrab leapt out of the water and landed on the warrior. Ralf got up and lifted the scrab carcass off of his body (he was the only one of the travelers that had this kind of strength). “What the Hell?!” he asked. Then, more and more scrab carcasses washed passed the raft, many getting caught in the ropes and smashing into the back of the raft.
“I guess we know where that herd went,” said Sal. George crawled out from under his tent. He was already aware of the present disaster.
“Where are the meetles?”
“Maybe they tried to escape?” said Sal.
“Not in this wind!” stated Don. At that moment a meetle plummeted towards the water and sent a huge shock of water that shook the whole raft.
“What are we gonna do?!” begged Sal.
“Todd, wake up!” screamed George.
“I’m up!” shouted Todd, as he crawled (making attention not to harm his broken bones) from his tent.
“GEORGE!” screamed Sal.
“WHAT?” replied George.
“WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNA DO?!”
“Just be calm, Sal, and everything will be…OH MY ODD!!!” Lightning crashed high in the sky and a huge mountain of a wave appeared in the all-to-close horizon. The muds were helpless. They just stood there (except for Todd, who could not stand, and began to put the map and some supplies in his pocket) and watched the obvious fate rush them head-on. “Hold on to something, guys,” said George calmly, “It’s been an honor to know you all.” Sal grabbed onto a board and clenched on for life. He looked up at the Leviathan heading towards him.
“All this way to be killed by a wave…” he thought. He closed his eyes and held tightly to the board… the future, if there was to be one, was uncertain…more uncertain than ever.

[Joe the Intern]

Sal, yer story is great! Keep writin', mofo!

[Joe the Intern]

To all of whom it may concern: the next chapter of the story will be released soon. most probably this week. Until then, I insist that you look at a much more often updated humorous little fic that me and the the writer of "Worst Case Scenario", Joe the Intern, have up known as Hans and Sven Do Stuff. Its the touching story of a lowly vykker trying to bridge the gap between him and his Danish... and there's another vykker, but he doesnt really matter check it out!