[Kesiah]

Well, the public has spoken, or in some cases chased me round and round and then sat on me....

But the latest serving of fine Kesiah Humor has been created, using the freshest punch lines, the sweetest irony. Kesiah Humor '02 has a rich, fruity taste, gently caressing the senses, and a delightful tangy after taste. We let our Humor spend more time ripening, so it is grown to perfection.
Kesiah Humor: Have another glass.

Dedication: Primarily, this dedication goes to Zeus, Oddling's dog, who was taken in unfortunate circumstances. May he guard Oddling forever.
Thanks also go to SFO, who's Shrink stories inspired part of this chapter, tybie_odd, who gave me some really helpful feedback, and inspired the entire Glukkon section. And Khanzumer, who gets a thankyou, mainly because I mention Zero from his fic, "Marching Mudokons" in this chapter, and I don't want anyone to hit me with anything....
Also thanks to everyone who writes comments to this fic, as I would probably have given up on it long since if they did not.
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*I must of been here for hours.....* Abe thought, scratching at the frills of the dress. He felt as though he'd been walking for most of the day, and he must have covered most of the Labs by now. *Who'd have thought there'd be so many Fuzzles in one lab?* Abe looked back and considered the large group of Fuzzles behind him. He understood what they were saying about one time in six, but at least they had stopped biting him for now.
The Fuzzles watched Abe with the air of waiting to see what kind of trick he would do next.
"Funny kind of dress it's wearing." One commented, confident that Abe would have difficulty understanding.
"What's it taste like?" Another asked. The first Fuzzle considered this.
"Uhh...what's the best thing you've ever tasted? Now, he tastes three times as good!" It said happily.
The Fuzzles had been talking about Abe's flavor for a while, and still enjoyed the memory of it. Some of them were drooling, causing Abe to worry a little.
*Damn it Munch! I need you to stop these things from deciding to eat me some more! Where are you?!*
With a sigh, Abe turned into the next Lab, maybe this time he could stop the Fuzzles long enough to get some answers from the Interns.
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".....What's it like to be so short? How come you can zap stuff? Why have you gotta drink that stuff first? Do you think this paint will ever come off? What's Abe really look like? Are you guys friends? What kind of tea does Abe like best?"
Munch was actually amazed. Ben seemed to be able to continually ask questions, without pause for food, water, air, or anything else. The most surprising thing was that the Sligs would hear them coming, turn tail and run! But then, Munch reasoned, news like Ben's mouth would get around.
"I'm surprised you never got sent to the Shrink..." Munch muttered.
Ben blinked. "I got sent to the Shrink once! He started trying to talk to me, so I wanted to ask him some questions, then he got upset and tried to get out of the room. Why do you think that is?"
*Figures. He's gotta be the only Mud that could talk a Shrink into submission.* Munch thought.
"Are we gonna rescue the other Muds here? How are you gonna do that? Will you use your head zappy thingy again? Who gave it to you? Do you like Scrab Burgers? I think they're bad, 'cause the Glukkons don't eat them. Are you gonna fry the Glukkons like Abe does? You think Abe will like me?" Ben continued.
"Don't you ever shut up?" Munch growled.
"My brother always liked me to ask questions, do you know my brother? Do you think I'll get to see him again? I wonder if he likes me still, does he like you? Why do you think Slogs are so mean? Do you think they're hungry all the time? Do you think Scrabs are hungry a lot too? Do you know Zero? He used to work in Rupture Farms, I heard that he got away with Abe. Do you think Abe likes rescuing Muds?"
"After talking to you, I wouldn't bet on it! SHUT UP!!!" Munch screamed. He could feel a head ache coming on, and with a head like his, that was pretty bad. To his surprise, Ben stopped suddenly, tears welling up in his eyes. *Oh Odd, here we go again...* Munch thought.
"You hate me!! Everyone hates me! Even the other Muds hate me!" Ben cried, and sat down to begin bawling his eyes out.
Munch rolled his eyes. "I don't hate you," He muttered. " I said I don't hate you! I just think maybe you should ask less questions."
Ben stopped, and looked up at Munch. "Why didn't you say so?" He said, sounding surprised. "I can be quiet, and we can rescue the other Muds!! Is that ok?"
It was Munch's turn to be surprised. *It was that easy? Why didn't I ask sooner?*
"No one ever tried to ask me to be quiet! You're my best friend Munch!! It's so nice to have someone that doesn't yell at me all the time, and who doesn't get mad when I ask questions! Did you know that the Muds are through this door? I bet they'll be happy to see you! Gee, why do you look so mad Munch? Is something wrong? I said I'd be quiet! Aren't I doing a good job?!"
*I knew it was too good to be true...* Munch thought, then opened the door to where the Muds were kept.
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"Are you sure this will work?" Dropik said nervously.
Krenak looked down at the smaller Glukkon with contempt, "Of course it will! The Muds will think that we have the real Abe, and when we publicly execute him, then they will think that he's dead, so this stupid 'rebellion' will no longer be a problem." It was a brilliant plan, he had to admit, one of his best. Pure Genius, like him. Pure. Genius.
"So, like, what's gonna happen if the real Abe turns up?" The third member of the group said.
The other two Glukkons looked around nervously, checking the large room for anything that could be a spying device. They didn't want to show it, but the other Glukkon scared them. To begin with, it could have been the clothes. Perfectly good cut in the suit, no problem there; nice, wide shoulder pads, showing his reasonably high status, but then.....The suit was black. Not respectable black. Not professional black. This was... Krenak didn't think you could have shades of black, but this was black black. There were silver chains in interesting places, often linked together, and they chinked when the owner moved. Then the shoes...five inches high, black again, except with flames around them. But the suit was actually less scary then the owner.
He was, hopefully, once a normal Glukkon, though he deigned it. Rumor had his name being Rikno, now he called himself Antichrist666, or something like it. It changed more often then anyone could remember. Most Gluks just referred to him as "That one". Some Gluks even believed that looking at his face caused blindness. Krenak didn't think that could possibly be true, but then, it was a scary sight. He had piercings. Not the little things some of the younger Gluks were doing nowadays, but bars, threaded through his ears. Or chains, looping in and out of the skin and with things hanging off them. The dark glasses he wore hide his eyes all the time, it was said it was because his gaze could kill, Krenak thought it was because he liked the looks people gave him. Some said he had tattoos, like a Mudokon, except in strange places.... Altogether, he was truly frightening.
Krenak cleared his throat, hoping his slight touch of fear did not show as badly as it did in Dropik. If it wasn't for That One's gift, he would have been dead of 'accidental' reasons long since. But his gift....ask him any question involving numbers, no matter how difficult, how distracted he was at the time, and he would give you the answer. Within seconds. Krenak needed someone like that. Especially now, with that Abe character around.
"If Abe dares to show his face in this factory, then we will have him captured, and quietly disposed of." Krenak said around his fat cigar. He had tried thin cigars, but the fat ones were much better.
"But I thought you said we already had Abe!!" Dropik whined. Krenak signed. Odd knew how Dropik had survived this long. He was as thick as a retarded Meep. Krenak decided to put disposing of him on his 'To do' list.
"Dropik, we've gone over this already. We got the worst employee the factory has ever seen, and we've set him up to look like Abe. Then we kill him and say it's Abe. Got it?" Krenak said. *Dropik really does need to be disposed of. I'm glad I thought of it.*
That One deftly flicked some ash from his small, sickly sweet smelling cigarette. "So, what's this guy like? The one you got set up to take the fall. He really that bad?" He croaked hoarsely.
Krenak smiled. "His file says he is called Ben. The one involved with the incident with the Shrink."
Krenak allowed himself a moment of pleasure when he thought he saw That One's eyes widen slightly behind the glasses.
"Wasn't that when the Shrink broke down? It was, like, laughing maniacally to itself, and nearly broke itself to bits trying to get out of the room from the Mud. We had to, like, melt the thing down. It kept trying to get away, and it was, like, scared of Muds. Crying all the time. Trippy stuff."
"You are absolutely right, Antichrist666." Krenak said, favoring him with a smile.
"It's DaRk_EvIl_BeTrAyEr." The other replied, gloomily. No one ever seemed to listen to what he called himself.
"Exactly." Krenak said, giving him another smile. He thought he was quite good at them, he been practicing in front of a mirror and the book had some very good diagrams. With a laugh, Krenak got back to laying out what plans he had that he thought the others should know.
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I mean, do I look scary? Really? *big innocent smile*
........
Why did everyone run away?