[Joe the Intern]

Woo! New chapter! It's taken me awhile, but it's here.



Hans stumbled his way to the shade of a large cactus. He turned and looked at the smoldering wreckage. It was a smoking crater. How he’d survived, he had no idea. The brown sand was scorched to black.
“Wow... Looks like the time Sven left a fuzzle on the radiator,” Hans mumbled. His head ached like he’d been kicked in the groin... except, in the head. Hans looked around. It was all sand and cactus. The cactuses pointed and laughed at him. “Haha, you loser,” they’d say. Then they’d all explode like mushrooms in a refrigerator. Hans passed out.


* * *



“THEN DON’T CALL ME JANET!!” Hans screamed. His eyes widened, and he awoke... again. He looked around. He was in a tent. He must’ve passed out. But why was he in a tent? And why did he have a craving for toast with salmon? These were just two questions out of two that needed to be answered. And that was three questions too many. He looked at the crack in the cover of the tent, and determined it was daytime. How long had he been out? He walked outside. There were many red skinned people standing around. As soon as he left the tent, they all bowed down to him. Finally, his own cult! He’d wanted one since he was a kid! But his damn Mom and Dad never got him one, so he killed them. Killed them DEAD! A man with a large feathered hat came out of one of the huts.
“You will lead us to victory!” he said, and handed Hans a large, red, foam hand that said “Number 1!” on it.