[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

Oh wait, there was one really funny moment....

Diana (my mother) cooked bacon for us on our first night there, and she emptied all the fat into a coffee mug, and she forgot to later dispose of it. The next morning, Chris (my dad) came downstairs, half-asleep, to make his and Diana's customary morning mugs of coffee. Without noticing, he poured his coffee into the mug half-full of bacon fat! (he must've been pretty dozy that morning if he didn't notice that the coffee granules were halfway up the mug and that it took much less water than usual to fill it up).

Chris then took both mugs into his and Diana's bedroom. I'm sure you can guess what happened next... he shouted 'F*CKING HELL!', gobbed the coffee back into the mug, and ran into the bathrom to wash his mouth out, making 'bleagh!' noises like a cat gobbing up a hairball. We laughed like loons on loon tablets and mocked him for the rest of the day, and always said 'pig fat' instead of 'coffee'.