If Bush really was a monkey, though, then that would mean he would have thumbs. However, if you look closely, you will notice that our president has a hansome pair of lobster claws in the place of normal human hands. Take a look at the next state of the union address- if a member of the senate happens to enrage him, he will waste no time in mauling the pitiful whelp with his razor-sharp poison tipped pinchers. It's kind of cool.
And leave the pretzel alone! That damned pretzel did nothing wrong, it was all in self defense! See what you do if you're suddenly dried, roasted, coated in mustard powder and jammed uncerimoniously down a US president's gullet! You would struggle, that's what you'd do, little pretzel doubting elves! Struggle! STRUGGLE! ELVES!
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