[Jacob]

I have just watched this programme called 'Living with the Enemy' and this week it was about two Homophobes living with two Homosexuals. It was quite amusing and very enlightening, one of the main things that made me smile was the fact that the two gay guys went to a straight, strip joint and watched the strippers do their stuff. Anyway, the four guys were sat drinking and the two straights were enjoying the 'Scenery' and the two gay guys started talking to the stripper, who stated that she found Homophobia very un-attractive and pathetic. Much to the surprise to the straight guys who were expecting them to dislike gays.

However, one of the shocking things that one of the straights said was that if you could tell a baby was gay before it was born...he would make sure his wife had a termination.

Anyways, by the end of it i realised that a Gay/Bi guy is worth a million Homophobic wankers and i would rather be as i am now than be them.

The main reason why i have not felt proud in the past is mainly due to my family. They have made me feel down and question my friends and beliefs. Although i usually shrug the comments off at the time, usually when i get depressed i think about them and become increasingly suicidal. Some of their comments are:

"Are you sure they are your friends?"

"Are you the clown of the group?"

These have been the two main comments since i came out, they wouldn't dare go near any discussion that could result in me reminding them of my sexuality. They basically think that i make them laff and that my friends are laffing at me, which is true. As most of the things i state are basically meant to be laffed at. But my Nan/Mum think that when they laff they slag me off also. I have only just realised (Oh the shame) that they are so f*cking wrong its unbelievable. And i personally cant wait until i am 18 cos i am getting the Hell out of there.

Just mindless babble really...apologies, i just had to tell someone and since its late i dont want to wake my friends up and/or wait til tomoro to tell them.