[One, Two, Middlesboogie]

Every country has its own slang words, and many are understood throughout the country (all Britons will know what you're talking about if you say quid instead of pounds), whereas some are confined to counties, regions or even towns (you're unlikely to hear 'charabanc' in southern England, and unlikely to hear 'I should coco' outside of Cockney London).

What this topic's title is talking about is slang words that exist in an even smaller catchment area; words or phrases that only exist within a family group or a social circle. All families have their own customs and ways of doing things, and in mine that includes figures of speech that cannot be understood by any outsiders (which is, after all, the definition of slang). I've never before bothered to find out if any other families or circles of friends do this, but I reckon I can't be alone.

Post any words or phrases that you and your family/friends have coined and use regularly in place of normal words. Here are mine:

My school friends and I haven't actually invented any new terms, but we frequently nick slang from the Georgia Nicholson books; i.e. 'I'm away laughing on a fast camel' instead of 'I'm going now' and 'what in the name of pantyhose are you talking about?'. We generally speak in a mix of bling gabber, Jamaican patois and traditional English playground slang, and it is hard for outsiders to understand us.

My little circle of online frinds and I use 'tupo' instead of 'typo', and we say 'thankee' instead of 'thanks' (I think I've seen other people on this board say that, but we generally credit ourselves with having invented it). We've also invented a few abbrevations which we use in instant messaging.

Here's a selection of the slang words my family and I use often (in some cases, we never use the normal words, and only ever use our slang ones). Many of them are contractions or corruptions of existing ones.

Botty Bag - Bag of incontinence pads
Daddy Duddops - Father Christmas
Duddops - Christmas
Fart Food - Baked beans, (f)artichokes, curry, etc.
Mernade - Lemonade
Mernar-mernars - Bananas
Monkey Poo Parlour - Bathroom
Moot - Remote control (it's quite hard to explain the pronounciation of 'moot', as the 'oo' is like nothing in English. It's like a cross between 'oo' as in 'food' and 'er' as in 'Derber'. Sort of like German 'Ü'.)
Nannash - Sausage
Poonoise - Fart
Puter Parlour - IT room
Scratching a caggat - Peeling a carrot
Scwim - Ice cream
Snibbo - Handcream, sunscreen, etc. Any form of cosmetic gunk you put on your skin.
Tannot - Toilet
Telly Comic - TV guide
Throw bread at a duck's head - feed the ducks
Tussin - Chook
Whatanose - Violent sneeze that causes ejection of snot
Wissa - 'Where's the...' as in 'wissa moot?' meaning 'where's the remote control?'
Woke - Coke (Coca Cola)