Chapter3:Escape
I didn't believe what my ears were hearing. They were listening to some trashy Intern rap music that sounded like a slurg chopped in half and the other end of it was turning into a peice of toast. If you ever stepped on a Slurg it sounds pretty high-pitched for a moment before you get eaten alive dosn't it? Well Slurg screams are very high-pitched so hearing one like that screaming for hours is ear-shattering. I know because thats why I'm deaf in my left ear. Anyway Jackie had told me that at some place called the Salty Slog they were giving away free Pina Coladas all night! It sounded crazy but if you were a Pina colada lover/Sci-Fi liker/Cheesy internet forums about some stupid game about some blue thing named Abe that saved some race of things that are going to be turned into some tasty snack hater/slave laborer you would think it was pretty f****ing awsome!!!! I was going to escape tonight and go to the Salty Slog. The only problem was how to get there. But there was a Mudokon who knows where everything is. His Grandpa was a map maker and he gave all his maps to his gay grandson named Nick. All I had to do was go into the big gay wads room, ask him for directions to the Salty Slog, then I was out of here. Simple as Paramite pie. I like Paramite pies, especialy when you... opps I'm going off subject. Anyway, that night I snuck out of bed and went to Nick's room. "Psst. Hey Nick?" I whisperd. "Oh hello Sean such a pleasent thing to see you!!!" Said Nick in a soft high-pitched voice that was supposed to sound like a girls. "Shhh!! Shut up you dumb ass!!!! Listen, I need a map to the Salty Slog. Do you have one?" I asked." Oh yes, of course I do! It's just some wheeere ooover the raaaainbooooow, waaaaaaay uuuup hiiiiiigh........" "Don't sing that stupid song! Just tell me were the hell is the Salty Slog?!" "Oh yes silly me! Just folow me, and you"ll be, in a woorld oooof pure imagination!" "SHUT THE F**K UP!!!!!! I'll follow you okay?! Just stop singing that horrible song!!!" I shouted. "Well if you stop me now we'll never get to the Oompa-Loompas and the lollypop guild!! Very well then, follow me." He said. I followed him through a hallway until we got to a room with a strange black and white glass door,when we went in it there was no way out exept for the way we came in, and when we came out it was a different place, then we came to a yellow brick road with a whole bunch of ugly ass things called Munchkins, then we came to a chocolate river with a yellow submarine in it, and we saaaiiled into the suuuuuuuun, till we fooooound the sea of greeeeeeeeen, and we liiiiived beaneath the waaaaaaaves, in our yellow submariiiiiiiiiiiine. We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine. We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine. Oh great now that gay f***k got me singing those damned songs!!!! Anyway we were in a yellow submarine, swimming through a chocolate river going to Odd only knows. After about half an hour we surfaced and came to a floor that said PLATFORM 9 3/4. "Well this is where I leave you Sean. Good luck!" He said. "Nick I'm just going to a bar, what could go wrong?" I said "Good bye Sean!!! I'll miss you every day! And when you get back I'll have a big BIG surprize for!!" He said. And by the way he said big, we all know what he ment by a surprize. "Ew!! Great just what I need!" I said. A homo chasing me around singing somewhere over the rainbow and whants to do ummmm... stuff whith me is not exactly what I needed at the moment. Come to think about what I could use was a Pina Colada!
PS:Sorry if you'r gay but nick is based on a gay kid in my class and that is what he is really like. I am extremly sorry if i have offended you in any way but these characters are based on kids i know.
Oddling l:c l
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