[STM]

The curtains reopen, the lights dim and the Voice of the People steps forth. Immediately the Zulag Two National Theatre is filled with rapturous applause that has nothing to do with the sudden appearance of heavily armed thugs. Yes, it is safe to say that since the deposition of Alcar, The Oddworld Forums have truly become a proletariat, democratic paradise; where everyone is free to say whatever they want and no one wants to offend their fellow comrade because it is obvious that doing so would not add to the betterment of these hallowed Zulags. Chairman Nate, our benevolent leader exercises incredible restraint, tolerance and pluralism in all his dealings with the forum. Praise be his Gloriously Gay name.

Before I announce the victors in this Social Darwinist farce we call an award ceremony, I would like to take a moment to remind you all that the governing body of The Forums greatly appreciates your patronage, that you are all appreciated and that Founding Year 16 will be one to look back upon with the fondest memories. Please note that members who cannot attend to receive their prize have not been purged, despite rumours; anyone spreading such crass lies will be purged immediately.

Best Thread Creator

1 Varrok
1 Meech Munchie
3 STM
6 Nate

Congratulations, Comrade Nate on winning the first award of the evening!

Total votes: 11
Previous Winners:
2003–6: Wolfpac
2007–9: Havoc
2010: used(:
2011: Xavier
2012: Nate, Meech Munchie
2013: Meech Munchie


Best Blogger
1 Varrok
3 Phylum
8 Mac Sirloin

Well done to Comrade Kastere, for providing us with ample propaganda with which we sate our need for amusement.

Total votes: 14
Previous Winners:
2009: OANST
2010: Mac Sirloin
2011: OANST
2012: Mac Sirloin
2013: Phylum


Greatest Debater

1 Varrok
1 OANST
1 Mac Sirloin
1 Nate
11⁄2 Vlam
2 Manco
4 1⁄2 Bullet Magnet

Despite hereditary titles being illegal, Bullet Magnet manages to retain his age-old title of Greatest Debater for another year. Let us reflect on the fact that he wins this year’s award even though he was inactive throughout the revolution.

Total votes: 12
Previous Winners:
2009–13: Bullet Magnet



Fan Corner Suite


Best Oddworld Artist

1 Oziah
2 Varrok
4 Jordan
5 Squeak117


Congratulations, to Squeak117 for being thoroughly artistic in all your endeavours!

Total votes: 12
Previous Winners:
2003: Alector
2004: paramiteabe
2005–6: Dipstikk
2007–8: Matriar
2009: GlacierDragon & Lacy Hemsmire
2010: Sekto Springs
2011: Michael & Scipionyx
2012: Lauric_GK
2013: Slogbait


Best Non-Oddworld Artist

1 Job
1 Varrok
1 Slogbait


Well done all three of you for winning this award, truly you have embraced the essence of collectivism for sharing this between you with just a single vote each, you must all be proud!

Total votes: 3
Previous Winners:
2009: Matriar
2010: dripik & Dryadri
2011: Matriar
2012: Meech Munchie
2013: Slogbait


Best Writer

PRE-REVOLUTION LITERATURE HAS BEEN BANNED. FOR YOUR INFORMATION, PLEASE SEE A LIST OF BANNED AUTHORS BELOW. READING THE WORKS OF SAID AUTHORS WILL RESULT IN IMMEDIATE EXECUTION VIA TEAR EXTRACTOR

Previous Winners:
2003: Jacob
2004: sligslinger
2005–6: Splat
2007: mitsur
2008: Splat
2009: Munch's Master (Oddworld) & Kastere (Non-Oddworld)
2010: Splat
2011: Oddey
2012: Mac Sirloin
2013: MA


Best Modder/Hacker

1 Paul
1 Kapteeni13
1 Varrok
6 Paul

Well done to Comrade Paul for being the first to clinch this new title, honouring the advances made in the fields of hacking and modding. We thank you for your continued service to this community

Total votes: 9
No previous winners.


Most Insular Member

1 Varrok
1 Hobo
2 Splat
3 Alcar

Praise to OWF for expelling the traitor, Alcar, into exile

Total votes: 7
Previous Winners:
2012: Scipionyx, Splat, Oddey, MurderofInk & Darkhoodness
2013: Splat


Funniest Poster

1 Mac Sirloin
2 MA
2 Varrok
3 STM
4 OANST


Congratulations to OANST who wins this award for his low brow, childish, puerile humour, at the expense of a far more intellectually humorous candidate.

Total votes: 12
Previous Winners:
2003: Jacob
2004–5: Hobo
2006: Havoc
2007: OANST
2008: Hobo
2009–13: OANST


Most Unintentionally Funny Poster

1 Frustrated_Assassin
1 Varrok
2 Kapteeni
3 Vlam
4 Shade667


Truly a prestigious award that only real heroes can win. Well done to Shade for your speedy witticisms.

Total votes: 15
Previous Winners:
2009–10: abe is now!
2011: Scrabtrapman
2012: Nepsotic
2013: Alexfili


Most Meaningful Poster

1 Varrok
1 OANST
1 Crashpunk
1 STM
1 Nate
3 Phylum
4 MA

Congratulations to our Stakhanovite farmer, MA, for being a man of great depth and prestige. Your meaningful words swell our breasts.

Total votes: 12
Previous Winners:
2003–4: Al the Vykker
2004–6: Max the Mug
2007: Nate
2008–10: Bullet Magnet
2011: Xavier
2012: Phylum & Nate
2013: Darkhoodness


Most Underrated Poster

1 Varrok
1 Havoc
1 Manco
1 Jordan
1 Mr. Bungle
1 Bullet Maget
2 Enchilado
3 JobMcYossie


Congrats to our resident allocated token female for clinching the award for being most underrated. Well done, comrade.

Total votes: 11
Previous Winners:
2003: Jacob & Oddsville
2004: Oddsville
2005: Rich
2006: Dark Elite_H2
2007: OANST
2008: Strike Witch
2009: mitsur
2010: enchilado & Molluck's Assistant
2011: Scrabtrapman
2012: Phylum
2013: Oddjobabe


Best Advice Giver

1 Varrok
1 STM
1 OddjobAbe
1 Mac Sirloin
2 MA
2 OANST

Congratulations once again to MA, who takes his second award of the evening, closely followed up the stairs by OANST, but not too closely as this could be considered fraternisation between political classes!

Total votes: 8
Previous Winners:
2003: Xavier
2004: Max the Mug
2005: Alcar
2006: Max the Mug
2007: Nate
2008: Bullet Magnet
2009–10: Nate
2011–12: OANST
2013: MAAAA



Member with the Greatest Oddworld Knowledge

1 Varrok
1 Xavier
10 Wil

Consolidating his power after toppling the tyrannical Max the Mug, Wil claims the award for the Greatest Oddworld Knowledge for the third year running, well done to him!

Total votes: 12
Previous Winners:
2003–11: Max the Mug
2012–13: Wil


Best Newcomer

1 Shade667
1 Vexen
4 Frustrated_Assassin

The barriers for entry this year were extended due to the popular vote of the people, could we all now stand and praise Frustrated_Assassin for becoming our best-integrated new member. The Party welcomes you with open arms and daggers sheathed for now!

Total votes: 6
Previous Winners:
2003: The Red Muse
2004: RavenMM & Death
2005: AquaticAmbi
2006: Cullen Heath
2007: OddjobAbe
2008: Wings of Fire
2009: Anonyman!
2010: Josh
2011: ODDWORLDisTHEbest!
2012: Vyrien
2013: JobMcYossie


Most Welcopme Return

1 Mudokon_Master
1 Enchilado
2 MA
2 Vexen
3 Hobo

Appearing only to disappear once again, the factionist Hobo raises his head only to flee back to the safety of his hiding.

Total votes: 9
Previous Winners:
2010: Disgruntled Intern, Pilot & Rex Tirano
2011: Josh
2012: Disgruntled Intern
2013: Hobo


Best Veteran

1 Havoc
1 Varrok
1 OddjobAbe
2 Wil
2 MA
7Nate

The obvious victor, who could deny Chairman Nate his obvious victory for being the forefather and progenitor of this wonderful forum, praise be our Dear Leader!

Total votes: 14
Previous Winners:
2003: Xavier
2004: Max the Mug
2005: Alcar
2006: OANST
2007: Nate
2008–9: OANST
2010: Disgruntled Intern
2011: OANST
2012: Wil
2013: MA


Dearly Missed Member

1 Vyrien
1 Ridg3
1 Dr. Saskatchewan
1 Gishygleb
2 Pilot
3 Disgruntled Intern
3 1⁄2 Nexy

Comrade T-Nex will always be in our hearts, and whenever we engage in the consumption of frosties or buttsex, we will remember her.

Total votes: 11 1⁄2
Previous Winners:
2004: OANST, TheKhanzumer & Sydney
2005: Ferril
2006: Kimon & Cloverfield
2007: AquaticAmbi
2008: Cloverfield
2009: Leto
2010: MeechShrykull1029
2011: DI
2012: Pilot
2013: T-Nex


Most Liked

1 Varrok
1 MA
1 Phylum
1 OANST
1 Meech Munchies
2 Nate
2 STM
6 Crashpunk

Congratulations to Crashpunk, who defies all rumours to prove himself OWF’s most popular resident. I for one fully support Crash and refute the accusation that I personally spread the rumour that he beds an Abe cardboard cutout in an effort to besmirch his name. Well done, comrade Crashpunk!

Total votes: 15
Previous Winners:
2003: Xavier & atusiya@
2004: autisya@
2005: oddguy
2006: Rex Tirano
2007: Nate
2008: Alcar & Bullet Magnet
2009: Max the Mug, OANST & Rex Tirano
2010: Wings of Fire
2011: Alcar & Oddjobabe
2012: Wings of Fire
2013: Crashpunk


Most Eccentric

1 OddjobAbe
1 Bullet Magnet
1 Dr. Sasquatch
2 OANST
2 Mac Sirloin
3 Shade667
3 Varrok

Well done to our two mentally crippled members, Shade and Varrok. Let us laugh wholeheartedly at their eccentricity!

Total votes: 13
2003: Jacob (Most Eccentric & Most Insane)
2004: Jacob (Most Eccentric) & Joshy (Most Insane)
2005: Hobo (Most Eccentric) & Mawk (Most Insane)
2006: Havoc (Most Eccentric) & Cullen Heath (Most Insane)
2007: Hobo (Most Eccentric & Most Insane)
2008: Hobo (Most Eccentric) & Mac Sirloin(Most Insane)
2009: Pilot
2010: Mac Sirloin & Strike Witch
2011: Pilot
2012–13: Bullet Magnet


Most Annoying

1 Hobo
1 Nepsotic
2 Varrok
11 Vlam

Toppling Nepsotic’s run, Vlam is now holder of the award for most annoying! Well done to you for being positively infuriating.

Total votes: 15
2003: lindsey
2004: Death
2005: Alpha
2006: Icarus
2007: Hobo
2008: abe is now! & AlienMagi
2009: AlienMagi
2010: MarsMudoken & ~Oprilthevykker~
2011: ODDWORLDisTHEbest!
2012–13: Nepsotic


Most Accomplished Troll

1 Hobo
2 Varrok
3 Vlam
7 OANST

Who else could be considered for this award but OANST? Well done to our resident old codger for scaring, upsetting and otherwise damaging the morale of everyone here!

Total votes: 13
Previous Winners:
2010: Disgruntled Intern & OANST
2011–2013: OANST


Best Couple

2 OANST x Vlam
2 Baby Brock x Vlam
2 Varrok x Vexen
2 JobMcYossie x Frustrated_Assassin
1 Shade x Vlam
1 Vexen x Vlam
1 JoxMcYossie x Tank
1 Shade667 x Speedrunning
1 germichlgboulg x ravkarorgeforg
1 Phylum x His Purity
1 MA x MM


We truly are a forum of lovers, let us gush at OANST and Vlam, Baby Brock and Vlam, Varrok and Vexen and JobMcYossie and Frustrated_Ass, who all are deeply in love. Vlam, who is in a polyamorous relationship, is to be detained for crimes of morality.

Total votes: 15
Previous Winners:
2003: Disgruntled Intern & lindsey
2004: ferill & Hobo
2005: SeaRex & AquaticAmbi
2006: Rich & Rex Tirano
2007: SeaRex & AquaticAmbi
2008: Alector & Dark Hood; and AlienMagi & Hobo
2009: Alcar & Hobo
2010: T-nex & Sekto Springs
2011: Molluck's Assisstant and Meech Munchie
2012: Meech Munchie and Wil
2013: STM and Amy, Varrok x Varrok, Slogbait and Nepsotic, Nate x Poopy Guy and MA x MA’s cock


Most Dedicated Member (not winner)

1 Kapteeni13
1 Varrok
2 STM
11 Nate

Well done to Comrade Nate for once again being our most dedicated leader! Without you, OWF would cease to exist, please do not leave.

Total votes: 15
Previous Winners:
2003–4: Alcar
2005–6: Xavier
2007: Alcar & Max the Mug
2008: Xavier
2009: Nate & Xavier
2010: Nate
2011: Max the Mug
2012: Wil
2013: Nate


Member in Dire Need of a Life

1 MA MA IS IN BREACH OF THE RULES BY SELF-VOTING AND WILL BE PURGED IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE OF THIS AND NOT BECAUSE HE HAS ALREADY WON MANY AWARDS AND IS A THREAT TO THE LEADERSHIP
1 Kapteeni13
1 Nepsotic
3 Vlam
4 Shade667
5 Varrok


Congratulations and commiserations to Varrok for having absolutely no life! Let us laugh at his lonely misery and parade him through the streets tied to an ass. GET A LIFE YA’ SHMUCK.

Total votes: 13
Previous Winners:
2010: MarsMudoken & MeechShrykull1029
2011: Abe619
2012–13: Nepsotic


Best Staff Member

2 Wings of Fire
12 Nate

The abandoner, Wings of Fire, stands no chance against the righteous fury of Nate, who is our greatest staff member of all time! Well done to him for winning many, many awards

Total votes: 14
Previous Winners:
2003: Alcar
2004: Cloverfield
2005: Alcar
2006: SeaRex
2007: Nate
2008: Hobo
2009–10: Nate
2011: Max the Mug
2012–13: Nate


Member who’d make a Good Moderator

1 Connel
1 Varrok
1 WoF (ha!)
1 Crashpunk
1 Phylum
1 Manco
1 Vlam
3 STM
3 OddjobAbe

Like Stalin and Trotsky, there are two progenies of this revolution; both Comrade Oddjobabe Stalin—whom I consider a close friend and in no way a threat to my future as Admin of OWF—and myself Stalin, have won this glorious award. Without doubt, we would both make excellent moderators. Let me stand before you now and say that Oddjobabe is not in league with Alcar, I’m almost sure of it! Trust him of your own volitions!

Total votes: 13
Previous Winners:
2003: Jacob, paramiteabe, & SeaRex
2004: oddguy
2005: Nate, T-nex, Oddude, AquaticAmbi, & Oddish
2006: AquaticAmbi
2007: Matriar & snuzi
2008: Bullet Magnet
2009: Wings of Fire
2010: Disgruntled Intern
2011: MA, Manco, Paul and WoF
2012–13: Meech Munchie


The Oddworld Forums Unofficial Mascot

1 Vlam
1 MS1029
1 Varrok
1 Wil
1 Abbey
2 Brock
2 Bill Murray
7 A Fan Art (Anguished Abe)



Total votes: 16
Previous Winners:
2003: atusiya@
2004–07: Alcar
2008: Hobo
2009: Max the Mug
2010–11: Abbey
2012: Abbey & Bill Murray
2013: Abbey


Most Changed Member


1 STM
1 Crashpunk
1 MS1029
1 Shade667
1 Frustrated_Assassin
1 OANST
2 Varrok
4 Nepsotic

A man of metamorphosis, Nepsotic proves to be continuing his role as the most changed member for the third year running. What this means no one knows but perhaps he is soon to become the living avatar of OWF itself!

Total votes: 12
Previous Winners:
2012–13: Nepsotic


Most Stoic

1⁄2 Nepsotic
1 Vlam
11⁄2 STM
2 Phylum
2 Shade667
2 Frustrated_ASSSSS
3 Nate

A new award this year, well done to Nate for being the most stoic of us all, you have tolerated the most shit, been treated like nothing and have become the butt of all jokes and yet you are still here, with us, forever. Well done to you, Chairman Nate! An award that conveys our absolute gratitude has been bestowed upon you.

Total votes: 12
No previous winners.


Most Valuable Poster

1 Xavier
1 Jordan
1 Bullet Magnet
1 Phylum
1 Crashpunk
2 Varrok
3 STM
4 MA

Our ultimate award tonight, PURGED NON-PERSON HERE has won a successive number of accolades, only to clinch the title of forum MVP as well! Congratulations to PURGED NON-PERSON HERE for being an excellent member and a credit to both the forum and the revolution. Three cheers for PURGED NON-PERSON HERE!

Total votes: 14
Previous Winners:
2003: Alf
2004: oddguy
2005–6: Xavier
2007: Nate, Max the Mug, & Havoc
2008–9: Bullet Magnet
2010: Max the Mug & Nate
2011: Nate
2012: Wil & Mac Sirloin
2013: Wings of Fire & Varrok


And that wraps up another award ceremony. This year I actually won an award which I am happy for, even if I have to share it. Let it be known that when I usurp control of ownership I will make sure you all pay a heavy price…err, I mean, well done to everyone and thanks to those who voted: Manco, Varrok, Vexen, Job, Phylum, STM, OANST, Jordan, MAAA THE COWS HAVE ESCAPED, Crashpunk, AlfShallRise, MM, Holysock, Nepsotic, OjA, Havoc, That’s 16 people, even less than last time. Fuck me you guys are shit I do this thing every year and for what gratitude what a farce, never again, very bad.

Honourable mention goes to Holy Sock who apparently really is the most forgettable, as I forgot to bestow upon him this award!

See you next year suckers!