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I'd probably mutter something under my breath if it was a big guy. If it was a smaller guy I'd probably call him a dickhead. I generally don't want to get into fights because I'm quite a passive individual.
In the second instance, if course I wouldn't say anything, but that analogy doesn't work because it's a completely different environment.
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In both scenarios, saying something would significantly increase your chances of getting into a fight. If that’s something you want to avoid, why then would you insult them at all? Your chances would be better by not rising to their action in the first scenario. We can compare this to responding to one’s insult with an insult of your own – it is unlikely to do you any good, and puts you at risk of further negative consequences.
The reason I included the second scenario is to see what you would do in a neutral setting. The first scenario has an antagonist so it’s more likely you might respond, but the second it’s expected you wouldn’t take action – after all, if you don’t want to get into a fight, why would you make an unprovoked insult on someone? We can then take this response and generalize it –
in a social situation where there is no prior antagonization it is better to avoid taking an action that would antagonize the other party.
This is the point that I’m trying to make. By not making any effort to avoid causing offence to others or by actively antagonizing others you put yourself at greater risk of negative consequences. It is therefore generally more beneficial to you to refrain from this behavior.
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When I'm around people I know, we toss insults left right and centre because it's just how we interact - it's banter. There's no animosity.
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And that’s generally fine. You know each other’s boundaries, you have an idea of what is and isn’t appropriate to say to each other. But you have to remember that what you’re saying to each other isn’t always said in a vacuum – if you’re in a public space for example, people unfamiliar with you could very easily overhear and take issue with something one of you said.
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As for your second point, if you're being legitimately harassed irl then you go to the police
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There is a whole spectrum of situations where the police wouldn’t or couldn’t get involved. It’s not just a binary “minor slight” or “legitimate harassment”.
There’s also this other side to consider – if we only ever think of offensive behavior as something to block out, ignore or hide from, then we are not solving the root problem of that behavior. That’s why you get people who will tell you when they perceive something to be offensive – it’s a signal to the offender that this is behavior that may not be positive, and they are being given an opportunity to examine their actions. And that isn’t someone trying to censor you.