[Mac Sirloin]

Oh, fuck Fallout.



This game looks like a really dumb Fallout 3, which itself was a blundering, hideous misinterpretation of Fallout 1 and 2. I'm so sick of hearing people talk about Star Wars and Fallout.

Fallout has followed this insidious trajectory of dumbing-down that I, as someone who has never completed one of these games, completely understand. It just looks about as complex and deep as Megaman X. Ooh, later in the game you get a robot costume? Hot damn, I can't wait to not be able to carry that!

I like the aesthetic, but the execution just feels like people are missing the real meat of this sardonic world. All the constant relating back to these cryptic, ominous factions takes away from being a stranger in a wasteland and foists so many roles upon you anyway. It's dripping with irony, but my god these games are so ugly. These infernal, monstrous, completely synthetic looking people just teeter on the edge of survival in the wasteland and they complain. These games are about complaining at their core. Your inventory complains when it's full, your jellied spine complains for rad-away and these pointless souls beg for your help.

It's sickening. It gives me a headache. Fallout is Mel Gibson vomiting up syringes on a .22 rifle in a 50's diner that uses a 6th grade chemistry quiz as a placemat. I am so sick of hearing about this lame-ass series and the fact that it's not the neckbeard fodder I thought it was, the fact that a zillion people have purchased this and are shitting their pants about it makes absolutely no sense to me.