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I've spent more hours on RTS games than all other genres combined, but I won't add any to my list. I don't think it's the games themselves which are so brilliant but the community and the competition which aren't things a casual player can just immerse themselves into.
So, in chronological order:
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Half Life 2 (including the episodes, if that's not cheating)
Those four games I have very fond memories of playing through.
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SWKotOR is fantastic, I wouldn't be opposed to it replacing Persona 3 on my list, they both were enjoyable for the same fundamental reason to me.