I don't think you're stupid. I think you're like the vast majority of the human race, and you want to believe that your life has a greater purpose, and that there is a loving god waiting to embrace you at the moment of your death. If that's all it was, I probably wouldn't say anything, but your religion is extremely harmful to society. All of the Abrahamic religions are harmful, but Islam and Christianity are definitely the two that top the bill. It isn't real, and no one should do the absurd things that these religions tell them to do.
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My bowels hurt.
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