Hot damn you guys, never expected anyone here to pick up on it, haha. Just to clarify, this isn't meant to be mean spirited towards any of you, it's just an homage to
this, which is one of my favourite parody articles, and some of the discussion here made for good inspiration.
I expected this to gather the interest of Dtoiders more so than Oddworld fans (which is why I didn't post it here), but I guess using the Oddworld name guarantees the opposite. In any case, I'm glad some people here enjoyed it!