[Job McYossie]

So I just played through the game, because a friend gave it to me. Sorry, let me rephrase, I just walked through the thing. First off, I had been wanting to play this for a long time, thinking: "Finally! The wonder of the interactive medium being used for pure story!" so a major part as to why I hate this thing is because expectations.

I tried to enjoy it, I really did. There is just so much wrong with it, as a narrative, as a game, as movie, as anything. The story is almost not there at all. There is no real plot, and it's not even clear who you play as at first. Maybe I'm missing some underlying point or super in depth meaning, but regardless, it seems like it's too convoluted to be enjoyed. Next off, don't even try to enjoy it as a game. All of the interactivity is limited, almost to the point where you might as well not have any control. You don't even get to choose when you turn on your flash-light, it just automaticly turns on in houses. I was trying to read scrawlings on a cave wall, but it was too dark. You don't have a jump button, which to be fair, could have caused problems, and wasn't really needed for the structure of the game. Having no jump button in The Stanly Parable was fine, though I did constantly try to jump out of impluse. One of the major problems I had, was the walking speed. No, sorry, that's insulting walking. The two broken leg limping speed was just intolerable. I tried to get used to it for a while, but it was just way too slow. I get that they need game time, but making the player move at .7 miles per hour is not the way to do it. It feels wrong, as if you can feel yourself pulling a car everywhere you go. After getting too annoyed with the speed, I actually increased the walking speed, because I couldn't handle taking 10 minutes so I can go look at some beached boats. I still stopped at all the sight seeing places and took my time attempting to enjoy the scenery, but then when I moved on to the next area, back to de_playermovement 150. Which brings me to my next gripe. People constantly seem to say "how could you increase the speed? The speed is just the right amount to enjoy the atmosphere and enviroment!" This is a lie. Every scene outside consists most of 3 colours, 2 shades of green and grey. While at first, yeah I took a while to soak it in, and it looked very nice and I enjoyed it. But everywhere on the island seems to be this way, so I don't see what more environment I'm supposed to take in. Yes, in caves there is a lot more different things to look at, and admittedly they are better designed, but they usually also look the same. Grey walls, blue drawings. After the first cave room, it just seems to repeat.

Overall, I am pretty disappointed, and am glad I didn't actually have to end up buying it. It just seemed to promise so much, and then it didn't deliver.

Normally I re-read my posts before posting them. This is too long for me to even want to bother with that though.