Dear Matthew,
You've been a productive yet "Excrement"y part of our humble community, sometimes we look at you in disgust as we exclaim "That's our OANST"...but who would ever question the fact that you're impressively excrementy? infact, I remember when we used to call you by the full "Old and Not So Tasty", a testament of your excrementingly beautiful achievements.
You, sir, deserve a crown of "sheisse", and thou shalt be recognized as the king of all excrement.
Your fellow hate/love person,
That-Egyptian-Vorarephile-with-an-excrementload-of-insecurities.
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They took mah Jarrb!
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