[MA]

so i just lost at Blackjack. i was making a profit at first, then i had a few bad hands and lost some. then i spent the rest of my time playing catch-up and being a bitch game of chance i lost the rest. and that's it. it's gone. fucking cuntbags.

if i was in the casino i would have flipped the fucking table over. i don't mind losing games but when it's my money i'm losing, especially to chance, i can't deal with that. what made it worse was that i didn't get a single good hand when it started going downhill, like lady luck was just laughing and pissing all over me. it took the piss, i was raped then flipped over and raped again. i've learned never to bet with money you can't afford to lose and i practice that, but it doesn't mean i can't be pissed off about it though. gimme back my money you goddamn fat cats. gimme back my motherfucking money.

anyway, talk about all things gambling-related. i like horses, but i love cards. i prefer to play for fun, or just pennies or whatever. if i spend money on it i intend to make profit. BUT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN THIS FUCKING TIME. blackjack is definitely the devil's game, moreso than any type of poker. ultimately in the end there's only one winner: the dealer/banker/casino. that's because it's all about chance, unless you can count cards. i wish i could.

and there's a certain buzz i get too. knowing that my decisions and actions were right, weighing up the odds and taking a chance, and getting it right. there isn't much better than that feeling. of course losing is the total opposite. makes me want to mug the cunt that took my money.