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As many dysfunctions as America has, at least we don't have a monarchy. And yes, we do laugh at you because of it. Even the really backwards, obese, Walmart shoppers. And what should horrify you is that they're right. They're right to laugh, and they do.
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You do realize that, as far as government is concerned, the two are about identical? It's not like the president of the US has any real power. Everything he wants to do ultimately has to be approved by the senate.
And I would rather have a monarchy than a country where I only have two realistic voting options:
1. Screw the people this way.
2. Screw the people that way.
At least with a monarchy you get to chose from all kinds of different flavors and ways to be screwed over by the government.