My childhood home has a metal shovel by the coal bunker used to retrieve fuel. When it scrapes along the paving slabs my organs shiver and my bones try to leave my body.
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That's weird, I like the noise of polystyrene rubbing against shit. Sounds good to me. OR maybe that's an overreaction but I don't mind it.
Daddylonglegs and craneflies though, if someone ever wanted to get me out of a room all they'd have to do is yell 'cranefly' and I'll be out of there quicker than Ussain Bolt. Actually, once I spotted one in the living room just as the postman was in the hall getting my mum to sign for a package. I saw it and picked my brother up to physically use him as a human shield in case it flew towards me. Obviously you can only use a small child as a shield for so long before said child gets pissed off so at that I bowled out of the living room and into the hallway, in my dressing gown. Postman and my mum just stared at me to which all I could do was point and say, 'daddylonglegs in there' real meekly.
Fucking long legged cunts.
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STOP HATING ALL THE THINGS I LIKE