[Jacob]

Nate - I daren't look. I'm going to, but already I can feel the claw of 'cringe' clutching at the fabric of my very being.

Regarding social anxiety, I used to get that a by the bucketload. I used to hate wandering around town on my own or shopping or what not. What I found helped was just pretending to be on my phone...and talking to myself.

Like, FULL BLOWN conversations with myself.

Then I began wearing sunglasses, which I heard form a 'psychological barrier' and that helped a lot.

Sunshine - sunglasses.
Snow - sunglasses.
Pouring rain - umbrella and sunglasses.

Recently I've noticed I don't even wear them anymore. So, yeah, that's my advice for anyone with recluse-issues or social anxiety.

I've matured a lot in my opinions and views. I've got more arrogant, but I'm also more incredibly self-aware now, so I can realise how stupid my arrogance is and laugh at it.

Another thing that helped is a friend telling me that the most embarrassing moments in my life, will always make the best stories. And that cut away any socially awkward feelings I had left.

'cos it's true.

If you can look back, laugh at yourself and the situations you've got in, awkward moments become new stories to tell people.

I think I'm going to snoop about and try and find those college threads now.

Ugh.

EDIT - yeah, I tried to read it. Take it all in. I could barely manage skimming it. I feel violated.

The irony (is it irony?) is I cannot abide people like that now. Anybody who reminds me of my old self I instantly take a disdain to. The heights of self-loathing.