And now, back to the regularly scheduled programme.
This year’s celebrations are sponsored by Frosties! Mmmmmmm, they taste great!
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Hello, ladies and gentlemen and welcome to this year’s celebrations of the Oddworld Forums Awards X. Tonight we come together to pay tribute to the best and worst members on this most prestigious of forums. We must also reflect on the fact that this is the tenth ceremony to be held and marks a milestone in forum history. Once the awards are announced, we will also look back at the good times and the bad times in the forum archives, giving you a chuckle and maybe even bringing a tear to your eye.
Cue music as STM walks on stage...
Allow me to briefly introduce myself. I’m sure many of you are familiar with who I am but for those who aren’t, I am STM and tonight I will be your most humbled host. I am afraid that Wired, our usual presenter, cannot be with us tonight. Although he has not officially declared a reason for his absence, we can only assume that a severe bout of short term memory loss has caused him some confusion as to who he is and what the awards are.
Now, before we begin, I would like to momentarily ask you to consider those people who are less fortunate than ourselves, those people who cannot call such a forum as this home. I ask therefore that you donate to our chosen charity for tonight: the Sonic Forum Trust Fund. Donating just £2 tonight could keep a deluded fan boy in stock of new material for a month. Every penny is greatly appreciated.
Now, without further ado, I bring you, the awards!
The Categories
Best Thread Creator
Best Blogger
Greatest Debator
Fan Corner Suite
Best Oddworld Artist
Best Non-Oddworld Artist
Best Writer
And a new award: Most Insular Member. I.e, the member who leaves the confines of the Fan Corner the least, bless their corrupted souls.
Funniest Poster
Most Unintentionally Funny Poster
Most Meaningful Poster
Most Underrated Poster
Best Advice Giver
Member with the Greatest Oddworld Knowledge
Best New Comer
Most Welcome Return
Best Veteran
Dearly Missed Member
Most Liked
Most Eccentric
Most Annoying
Most Accomplished Troll
Best Couple
Most Dedicated Member
Member in Dire Need of a Life
Best Staff Member
Member Who’d Make a Good Moderator
The Oddworld Forums Unofficial Mascot
Most Valuable Poster (MVP)
And tonight, a new category has been drawn up:
Most Changed Member. For better or for worse, which member has changed their self the most over this year?
By way of nominal explanation, all votes should be cast based on the activity of 2012 alone! Best New Comer and Most Welcome Return should have started posting/returned last year. Dearly Missed Member should not have posted at all in 2011, or since. Members qualify as veterans if they started posting prior to 2007.
Procedure and Rules
Procedure is the same as it always has been. No nominations and no applications, just vote for which members you think are most deserving of each award by posting them here. Whereas in the past you have been able to private message the host with your choices, this year will not be following in that trend. For your vote to be counted, you must post in this thread and this thread alone! You don't have to vote on every single category, and you can submit more than one member per category if you really, really cannot decide between two or three members.
There is to be:
No voting for yourself, and no telling other members whom to vote for, whether that's you or someone else. Anyone who breaks these two rules will be given to our feral moderator, Nexy, who will put things up your butt.
Furthermore, contravening of any rule is punishable by elimination of your eligibility to partake in the receiving of any awards.
Voting starts right away and will continue for 3 weeks so the results will be posted on the 20th January 2013. Don't post updates of who's winning what and how many votes such-and-such person has. If you spoil the surprise I will personally hunt you down and end your miserable, insignificant life.
Enjoy and happy voting!