Umm... Since Sal is off the 'Net for a while, I have to tide you over ith the next chapter. This is mainly to redeem myself for the shitty chapter I wrote last time. Here we go!
Chapter 14
Shmo's plan went into action. He gathered an army of sligs and set out for Rupture Farms. This was his best plan ever! It was brilliant, and made good fabric for pants! He would find the Danish, and enjoy its cream-filled, sticky goodness. If he couldn't have the Danish, no one could!
"Sir, what are you saying?" someone asked Shmo.
"Huh?"
"You're talking to yourself."
"I am not."
"Yes, sir, you are."
"Silence! Keep carrying me!" Yes, that's right. The lazy bum was being carried by sligs! Couldn't even walk... I tell ya, if I was one of those sligs... Uh, anyway, where were we? Oh yeah. Well, Shmo wanted the Danish badly, and would've had it.
A couple days later Shmo's army came upon the ruins of Rupture Farms. It was run down, had fallen into disrepair. All that lived there now was Ratz and Mudokon outcasts.
"Ah, there it is." Shmo said to himself. "The heaven into which I cast myself to find the wonderful Danish!" The sligs around him kind of stared at him for a little bit. "What? What are you looking at? A guy can't bask in glory for a little bit? Huh?"
'You're a looney..." said a Slig.
"I'm not a looney! Unless you consider the time I jumped up and down yelling 'Walla falla woggie whee!' all day. That was a fun day... Or the time I tried to dance with a mop. Or the time I thought I was a famous actor. Or the time I-"
"We get it, you stupid screw ball!" said another slig.
"Okay then... Remember not to eat fleeches. They smell funny."
The company started to make camp. It was dark, and it was spooky.
"Is it gone?" asked Shmo, looking around him, panicking.
"There was nothing here in the first place! It was just a couple of birds coming out of a bush!"
"It was NOT!" shouted Shmo. "It had a bunch of red eyes and big smelly teeth! It was scary!" Did I mention Shmo was scared of the dark?
"Shut up and go to bed you idiot!"
"Mommy!"
The next day the company headed into Rupture Farms.
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