It's not the way I write normally, and I'm all for taking on constructive criticism, I'm just pointing out that while it may not be a preferable way to use the comma, it was effectual and certainly not 'wrong'.
I know what I'm talking about here, writer or not because if you write about grammar being 'wrong' in an exam, you lose marks. The term 'wrong' or 'incorrect' no longer carry any weight in linguistic studies. Let me see if I can dig up something from one of my old AS text books.
E:
Right:
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Christine A. Halt and Thomas N. Huckin:
One of the most frustrating things about using commas is that so many uses of them are "judgment calls." That is, depending on the meaning you want to convey, you might choose to use a comma, or you might choose not to. Consider, for example, the following sentence:
1. Jill jumped up and down when she heard the news.
Can you hear a slightly different shade of meaning in the following sentence?
2. Jill jumped up and down, when she heard the news.
And what about,
3. When she heard the news Jill jumped up and down.
Or,
4. When she heard the news, Jill jumped up and down.
The differences are in emphasis, created by the pauses that the commas force the reader to make. Grammatically, a comma is not necessary in the first pair of sentences, but is in the second. Some readers might even consider sentences 2 and 3 to break a rule.
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I can find more if you like, I didn't even have to get any text books.